I feel like no one around me understands

[Kat]

Hello! I'm Kathleen, 28 years old from Clio MI. I'm here because my whole world was torn apart last August. I got a call while I was at work from a family friend telling me that I had to go to the hospital right away because my dad was very sick. I knew right then that something bad was wrong because my dad was very healthy. He was taken in by ambulance because he was coughing up pure blood. He was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. He started Chemo and radation and we prayed for the best. The week of Christmas while my Dad was still going through his treatment my 3 year old nephew (2 at the time) was admitted into the hospital for what they thought was an infection. After tests were ran he was diagnosed with leukemia. He was rushed to a childrens hospital to start his treatments. This past March my father was told his cancer had spread and the doctors gave him less the 6 months to live. While I'm trying to deal with all this my moms health starts to get real bad. The week of Easter she was diagnosed with the other form of lung cancer. I don't know how much more I can take! I'm so worried and scared that I'm making myself sick. I am so sick of people telling me "everythings going to be ok" because as much as I want it to be I know it's not. I know I'm going to lose one or both my parents this year. I feel guilty for thinking about how I'm not going to have my dad there to walk me down the aisle when I get married or that they won't be there to see me have children.

This is the most intense pain I have every felt!

Thank You for listening to me.

Please say a prayer for my family.

~Kathleen

[hollyanne]

Kathleen,

My heart is breaking for you. You are right "not everything is going to be o.k." -- but you will get through each and every thing that your future will bring. I know it is so very difficult, but don't focus on the future, it is simply overwhleming. Right now, you need to focus on staying healthy...if you think an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety drug would help -- GET IT. You need to be 100% physically to deal with all of these things that have been thrown at you. AND don't give up on your mom and dad right now! Love them each and every day as you have for 28 years....but also fight along side them against this beast of a disease.

Does your mom have a treatment plan? What stage os her cancer? We are all here for you...trust the people on this board to support you and give you information. Get as informed as you can as to what your mom and dad want...and about this disease.

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this...it isn't fair. If you are a spirtual person, this will test your faith...it did in my case, yet my faith did win out even though I lost my mom.

So many prayers for all of you tonight.

Holly

[MsC1210]

Hello Kathleen and welcome,

I am so very sorry about everything you are dealing with there. You have come to a wonderful place though and I am glad you have joined us here.

As Holly has told you, there are so many wonderful and knowledeable people here that can and will help you through this. They can and will answer your many questions, or can point you in the right direction to find the answers and maybe more importantly, we are all here to support you in whatever ways you need.

My thoughts and prayers are with you,

Chris

[Ry]

Kathleen,

I am only about a half hour from you. I am sorry about what is happening to your family. I am wondering if your parents are going to the same cancer center as my husband. PM me and let me know which system they are in. We are very happy with our oncologist. Welcome to the site.

Rochelle

[RandyW]

I am a researcher by nature. Welcome aboard There are many survivors here of both kinds of Lung Cancer. Connie B is a 10 and a 1/2 year survivor of Small Cell. WE do have success storis and unsuccess stories. Read through the survivors and the good news forums for a touch of encouragement. My boss is a 5 year survivor of an adult leukemia. There is always HOPE. Click on the profile button on the left of the screen and you can scroll down to the box in Middle of screen and put in pertinent Med Info on Mom and Dad. Treatments and results of tests. You will have them on every post you make and will not have to rewrite them. What are treatment plans? Tell us everything you can when you can. Do not let a Doctor dictate how long a person has to live; only God knows that. We have many who outlived their Doctors diagnosis. Prayers go up and Blessings come down. Welcome and sorry you have to be here but glad you are. Knowledge is POWER!!

[Don Wood]

Kathleen, you are bearing a lot right now. We here do understand, so vent here, seek support, ask questions, whatever you need. Prayers for you and family. Don

[ma's kid]

Kathleen,

Welcome and just want you to know that we are here for you so please let us help you in whatever way you need, ok.

You and your family are in my prayers.

Libby

[shineladysue]

Hi Kathleen,

My heart goes out to you. You have a lot of heartache and uncertainty to deal with at once. All you can do is to take it one day at a time and make the best of that day. I'm so sorry that right after you posted the site went down, but we are here now and we are here for you. If you have any specific questions, there are many here that are more than willing to share their experiences. It really helps to be with people that understand and truly care. Let us know how you are doing.

Sue

[Carleen]

Kathleen,

I am so sorry about all you are going through, and all the horrible cancer that has visited itself upon your family. This is so unfair and so terrible.

Unfortunately there are a lot of cliche's out there that people will use because they don't know what to say to help you. "Everything will be ok" is one of them, and honestly it has a fraction of truth to it, and a fraction of naivity to it. Whatever happens, you will get through it because you have no choice but to go through it. And in time things will get easier to bear under and life will continue. Is that ok? Maybe for some. But it will never be like it used to be, it will never be enough and all we would wish it to be. It will be painful and hard, but life will go on even at times when we wish it wouldn't.

I'm sorry if I sound negative. I don't mean to, but I too am going through one of those periods of time when I wish life would just stop so I could get off. I just want you to know that I understand what you are feeling and saying and you are normal and right in being angry, frustrated, scared, weak, and an all out mess.

Please feel free to vent whatever you are feeling and we will be here to listen and support you.

I will pray and pray for your family, and for you.

God Bless you and hold you strong and safe in his loving arms.

[Don M]

Katheen:

It is very hard for you now obviously.

Hopefully, your mom can be one of those who have good quality survival years ahead and your nephew will respond to treatment. Perhaps your dad can get a second opinion? I am always skeptical of docs when they start making predictions. The smart ones would say they don't really know for sure and would provide other options.

You and your family have my prayers.

Don M

[bethluvswill13]

Oh Kathleen,

Im so very sorry your going through all of this. I recently lost my dad. Feel free to pm me any time I'll do my best to help.

Prayers,Beth

[ErinC1973]

Kathleen,

I am so sorry for everything you've had to deal with recently. Really, so very sorry. I lost my dad to non small cell lung cancer, stage IIIB in 1999, 9 months from diagnosis. I joined a message board when he was diagnosed, and met a girl who lost both of her parents within the same year to LC. I couldn't believe it; nothing could be more cruel than to lose both parents to this TERRIBLE disease. But then, my mom was diagosed with non small cell lung cancer Stage IIIB in November 2004. I felt like I was in hell. And sadly, I just lost my mom, my best friend in the whole world, on February 8. To say I am in shock is putting it mildly. I miss her so VERY VERY much.

My mom: she was a true fighter. Look at my signature line and you will see, she didn't just fight LC, she fought a lot of other things also. She did survive 15 months. We made lots of memories. But now that's all I have. There will be no more new memories to make. I am sick inside. To make it all the more cruel, I had a baby three weeks after my mom died. My mom never got to meet her grandbaby.

So, I can relate to what you're saying. Heck, I'm really living it. It really is a nightmare. I honestly started posting a lot more on here after my mom passed away. I wish I had been able to post here more often before she died. This place is such an incredible support forum. Try the Family members/caregivers board. I encourage you to come here and cry, vent, ask questions, whatever you need to do to get through it, because we are all here for you. We get it.

I will keep your entire family in my thoughts and prayers.

[marym]

Kathleen,

I'm so sorry for what you are having to deal with. It's not easy, fair or anything else and I wish there was something I could say or do to make it better. I will pray for you and your family and you need to know that you'll have good days and you'll have bad days. Try to make the most of the good times and cherish them

Warm wishes,

Mary

[ztweb]

Kathleen,

I am so, so sorry thatyou have to go through this. The pain you must feel is horrendous. No matter what, be sure to take a deep breath every day, say a prayer to God for guidance, support, love, and like we always do...for miracles.

No doc or person knew before cancer when your parents were going to pass, and they still don't...so don't get TOTALLY hung up on the "time frame" they gave you. It is in God's hands, as it always has been, and for that you have to be thankful, and have faith.

Kathleen, you can count on my prayers, and please know there are so many wonderful people here to support you. This will become a haven of safety, support, and love for you.

Dear God, please wrap your arms around Kathleen and her family, as they face these tragedies. Please bless them with strength, love, and peace, as you work your way with the family. Help them to stay strong as they walk the cancer journey, and may you grant them the miracle of healing for everyone. You have worked miracles before God, and I ask that you do so again.

God bless you Kathleen.

[Maryanne]

Oh Kathleen,

I don't know what I can say that will help you feel there is hope. But there always is hope, some light at the end of that dark tunnel. Please keep the faith as faith doesn't get you around trouble, it gets you through it.

You feel life is not fair, and you are being hit with all these whammies at once. You are right it is not fair, but it is a part of life we have to deal with.

We are here for you 24/7. We are the best support group and very knowledgeable. Any questions you have please ask. We are also always here to send prayers.

I am sending prayers to your family members and for you for strength.

Please try to keep a positive attitude that things can change at any given time for the better. Maybe not for your dad but for your mom and your little nephew.

This is such a heavy burden for you to carry around, I wish I could do something to lighten your load.

Maryanne