mamasbabygirl Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 Hey guys. I was on ebay this morning and saw many wheelchair accessible vans for sale and I am sure there are some in our area if I look. I want to approach SF about this, but am not looking forward to the grief I'll hear from him. I asked a "favor" from him the other day that when mom comes home if we could buy her a few nightgowns, rather than those nasty old hospital gowns she has been wearing since January. He got so upset, like I was asking too much. If I would have known he was going to act that way, I wold have just bought the damn nightgowns. But, I can't buy transportation. For the spouses here, if your stepdaughter came and asked you about this, would you think they are overstepping grounds? I can take it to mom, but I do not want to cause comflict between the two of them. I just think of how nice it would be to be able to go anywhere with her, rather than hurting her and us when we need to go places. Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 If I were you I'd find a good deal and then show it to him, try to make him think it's his idea. If you can find a rear loading van it is easier to park and load your mom then the side loading vans. My corporation owns several and we send them to auction to be sold when the mileage gets up there-- might want to check the auctions in your area also. Most vans coming from a corporation working with the disabled have maintained their vans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 Lori, Again, you are such a great daughter. I don't know what to advise you...I mean, my inital thoughts, honestly...."If he gets upset about nightgowns, imagine what he would say about a car!" However, you owe it to your mom to ask...if you get POd with your SF, then you do, but you are out nothing in terms of your mom to ask about it. I think it is an AWESOME idea, and I couldn't agree with you more...taking her everywhere is a fantastic idea and one that I think worthy of looking into... OK...so there was my 2 cents! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyanne Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 I think you have gotten really good advice already! One thought, would there be any rental available anywhere? Just a thought. Thinking of you, Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda661 Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 Sounds like a wonderful option to explore Lori. Transportation is soooooo hard and a major roadblock when our moms can't help themselves much for "regular" transportation options -- all I have right now, for example, is using cabulance service (adds up in a big hurry and isn't covered by insurance). There's no way I can "womanhandle" my mom in our vehicles by myself -- been there, tried that many times, didn't work for mom's safety or mine. Every other community disabled transportation option around here has so much "wait time" inherent in it that mom's O2 won't even last for short trips to the doctor (that happens with cabulance sometimes too)! Gotcha' about the practicalities of it and SF though. Rentals, as someone suggested, might be an option to explore. Also.....do you happen to know (or could get to know) anyone in your immediate community who might have one that you could borrow from time to time? Just a thought...... Take care, Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted June 9, 2006 Author Share Posted June 9, 2006 We have a service here called RAMP, MIL uses it to get back and forth to daycare, but it is for set schedule kind of stuff. I was thinking if SF could get mom out of the house, he wouldn't feel so trapped, although I guess if he'll pay for an aide, he won't be. We shall see. I love you guys for trying to help. I really do. We did our walk through in the new house today. I am soooooooooooo excited. Can't wait for everyone to have their own bedroom/space and for mom to come home finally. She has been away from us for 6 months. I think alot about how sure I am that mom did NOT think that when she left for her first brain surgery, that would be the last time she was in her own home. It makes me so sad. It was the home where she tended so closely to every detail and took such great care of it, the yard, etc. I pray that she will be happy in our new home. Here's to a good weekend for us all, especially Keith and Carleen. XOXO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carleen Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Lori I love you girl. You are a great daughter, caregiver and friend; how do you do it all? I think a van would be such a wonderful idea. My only question would be how much actually are these vans being auctioned for. I don't know what your mom and SF's financial situation is, but I know that if it was my situation I would want more than anything to get that van, but it may be incredibly hard to do. I would have to push funds around and weigh out options. After paying necessities such as prescriptions, medical care, and mortgage there isn't much left over, actually usually I'm in the whole wondering where I can scrape up some change to buy groceries. If finances are available, and SF is still hesitant to provide for comfortable transportation, then I would have to think his heart is not in the right place. I pray for you Lori, and hope all goes well with your new home, living arrangements, and all things work out best for your mom. Thank you for your well wishes too, they mean a lot to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted June 10, 2006 Author Share Posted June 10, 2006 Well, I saw vans starting at 6k bids. They currently make payments on a truck and so why not a van (if it was purchased from a lot or something)? He is getting ready to sell their house with equity, his 401k, his SSI, her disablity and I am getting my brother's college paid for with financial aid. I don't know, maybe it is too much. I was just trying to think of how we could get her places, since her mobility issues I am now thinking of as permanent since there will be no more therapy. Plus, it's not like he couldn't sell it if needed. I am still on the fence about bringing it up, but I will definitely take Ry's suggestion and have one in mind before I take it to them. I love you guys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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