ursol Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 First I want to thank everyone on the board for giving me wonderful advice and support on my first post last week on the welcome board. The Thoracic Oncology group at Yale as diagnosed me with NSCLC stage IIIA. I had an MRI last night to check to make sure there is no brain MET. If that is clear they will do a mediostein (not sure how to spell this)biopsy of the two lymph nodes in the middle of my chest to see if they are defintely cancerous. They are assuming they are currently. Once that is done this coming week I was told, then I will start 6 weeks of concurrent Chemo and Radiation. After that I will have surgery to remove part or all of my right lung. I'm feeling better than I was a week ago but I'm feeling very numb most days, having a hard time just living life and trying to be normal. I want to try and be normal for my children but it's really hard. It's also hard when everyone constantly is asking how you feel as if you are going to break into pieces any second. There are days I just feel like a leper. My 81 year old father said to me that I need to stay strong and live because for every day I live the more advanced the technology and drugs to treat lung cancer. That is what I'm counting on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 It's also hard when everyone constantly is asking how you feel as if you are going to break into pieces any second. There are days I just feel like a leper. Some days, you DO break into pieces. Some days, the monsters kick the living crap out of you. Some days, you don't even want to get out of bed... Those days are coming for you. Do what you can to battle them. GET UP AND OUT OF BED EVERY SINGLE DAY! If you stay in bed one day because you're feeling kind of blue, it's easier to stay in the next day, too. Get out of bed, open the curtains and dance in the rain. Carry a large baseball bat and a flashlight at all times. Sometimes, that baseball bat is a picture of your kids or a framed cross-stitch with your mantra (mine is the John Wayne quote in my signature line). Whatever works for you, you need to use. Pick yourself up, put on your big girl panties and take that next step. Breathe. In deeply through the nose and out slowly through the mouth. Repeat until the band on your chest gives up its hold. Sometimes, that means dissolving in a pool of tears. Go with it, you'll feel better afterward. Trust me on this one....if you read my signature, you'll see that I, too, was diagnosed as IIIa. You'll also see when. Closing in on 3.5 years... Step up, I'll hold your hand if you need it - as will a few hundred other people. Lean when you need to. Best of luck to you, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pammie Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Your dad is absolutely right Lillian. They are coming up with new treatments. Those precious children need you so resist this disease with all you have. Lots of people will help you with your children and will encourage you. Let them know you need help. Will be praying for your and your family. pammie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marym Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Lillian, I also feel the need to stay strong and wait until they find the next drug. But it's easier than you now think. I expected treatment to be just awful - but it isn't. I lead a perfectly normal life with the exception that I need more sleep and on occasion, I need anti nausea pills. You are still coming to terms with the disease and I feel so sorry for you. I'm single and had difficulty enough with my family, (7 brothers and sisters, all of whom have been wondeful). It's got to be a lot harder with children - and your day to day activities are more demanding as well. I suggest you ask the doctor to prescribe a mood elevator - I take lexapro. I think it helps a lot in staying away from the depression that can come with disease. I hope you have great outcome with your treatment. Keep us informed as things proceed. Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna G Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Now you know. The battle begins. It can be won! I started with chemo and radiation also. I am 8 and 1/2 years out and no signs of disease. Keep us posted. Donna G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Father Knows Best!! Glad you are better. Things will improve as time goes by. This is a new normal life you are starting to experience. Get an organizer if you don't have one already. Write questions for Drs, Apptmnts, Meds taking including Supplements, Side effects, test results. Anything and Everything. Very useful. As you find out more about what is going on you will feel less panicked about this situation. It is a NEW NORMAL LIFE STYLE Change. This disease can be dealt with for a number of years. As far as people asking how you feel tell them "I will tell you when I don't feel well thanks" After you tell enough friends and family I think they will understand with time. Hope this helps some!Sending prayers for ya!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyD Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Your dad is so right. My doc. told me at the beginning of my journey that first we had to find the right treatment for me, and then I had to hang in there until the next thing came out. Well guess what? Since my diagnosis 2 1/2 mos. ago some of those new things have arrived and are showing some amazing results. So HANG IN THERE! You are so fortunate that you can have surgery and perhaps get rid of this disease. You have a great chance of celebrating many more birthdays with your family. It seems you already have a plan, which is a crucial step in turning your attitude around. Now you need to focus that attitude on beating this thing because once you start to believe that you can, you will come out of the fog you have been living in and life will resume again. It will not be the same as it was as you now have worries that are incomprehensible to many people, but it can still be very, very good. I won't kid you that my life is just peachy. The cloud that hangs over my family every day never goes away for me, but I realize that I have life, and I plan on living and enjoying it for as long as possible. I'll be praying for you. Tracy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Hi Lillian: now that you have a plan, the emotional aspect should level out for you. There will be some rough days, but just hang on to the notion that your treatment gives you a chance at being cancer free. You have my best wishes. People often ask me, "how do you feel"? It is a kind of a indirect question. I think they are afraid to say, "how is your lung cancer going?" I usually feel just fine unless I have a cold or am doing chemo, and it takes me a moment to realize they are asking about my cancer. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Your dad is right. Hang in there. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jyoung20 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Hang in there! We will help you through this. We are here for you and we are fighting with you!!! I was just listening to video clips from the Mary Crowley Research center site about an amazing treatment and a procedure called Cell Search. You should check it out! Very interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Your father is just so right. I am so sorry about your diagnosis...but realize so much can happen. Stay strong and know you have SO many people on your side. God bless you. Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shar Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I believe you must always look at the positives. Firstly, you are able to have surgery which is a huge step towards being cured. Secondly, you are able to have radiation, another step in the road to recovery. Some of us are unable to have either of those, so the way I see it is that you are one of the lucky ones. Hang in there and BELIEVE!!!!!! I wish you all the best in this fight, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Lillian, I missed your post as a newcomer so let me welcome you first. I am also IIIA and its been 3 1/2 years for me. In two months it will be 3 years since my last treatment. Its not easy but it can be done and life goes on. Becky gives good advice. Breathe. And when you feel like venting, come here and vent. When you have a question, come here and ask. And when you have something to share, come here and share. We have all been there and want to help and listen. Your dad is right about new treatments. Hang in there. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meredith Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Hi, I know how you feel with everyone asking "How do you feel?" Mostly people have good intentions, and I think they want to hear "I feel fine." But often want you really want to say is "I feel like crap and cancer sucks and I'm depressed!" Although it's hard, there are days when I feel like I've put the cancer, treatment (and its consequences) behind me, but then someone will bring it up and everything comes flooding back. Then I get kind of angry and tell people not to keep bringing it up because the things I do in my life doesn't always have to revolve around cancer. You hang in there, girl! Like everyone has said, you are going to have bad days. Some days you will be sad and depressed and other days you might feel very lonely and afraid. But you are going to continue living and have "normal" days with good times. Your entire world often falls apart upon hearing "cancer", but you pick up the pieces and build something new. My life is so different now and my plans were interrupted. But I still have plans, I'm just on a different course...like you, and all the rest of us. Best wishes and hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Hi Lillian, I was diagnosed as IIIa, Pancoast Tumor. Three days before surgery they changed the entire protocol to implement somethng new, reported as an abstract presented in a conference, reporting on phase II clinical trials which were stopped at 12 months for immediate implementation. The journal article came out in Jan so the conference must have been in the late fall; I was diagnosed end of March/ beg of April 2000. If I had been diagnosed sooner I might not have had such a good outcome. Your dad is a wise man. I have been NED for almost 6 years (August). Good luck to you. and remember to keep putting one foot in front of the other. XOXOX MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slinaresholz Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Welcome to the site! I hate it when people ask me how I am. I wish they would quit reminding me of the LC already. There are many people who have survived a long time so be optimistic. Hope everything goes fine for you! Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 with a diagnosis, comes a clear course of action. stay the course, and let the amazing people here know how they can help. you're in good hands. my mom is an almost-six year survivor of NSCLC, first stage was IIb, they never gave her a stage on her second run but she's doing great!! xoxo amie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icbn Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Usro, Your initial diagnosis sounds exactly like mine. The only difference was the docs decided to pretend the several enlarged lymph nodes were not cancerous so they could justify removing my left lung and the tumor right away. I'm telling you this to say I know exactly how you feel. That numb feeling and unsure future. The thing I have learned is this is not an end. It is a process. Uncomfortable at times, but all of it is doable. You are young and I bet tough. You can get through this to love and raise those kids just as before. Good luck. You are in out prayers. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Hi Lilli! You are doing just great! You are surrounded by people who care and love you. That is good medicine from the start. Your children's faces will give you so much fighting determination to put nothing less than 100% efforts into fighting this disease. Research all you can. Learn and be sure that you are receiving the latest and greatest treatments. We are here to help you. There are many knowledgeable people here about the current therapies. If you ask about specifics of your situation, they can give you clues about what to research and then what to ask your doctor team. This is a very important time for you. You are on a mission. Blessings on you, dear. Hang onto hope. I can lend you some of mine if you run low! Stage lllb out 3 1/2 years! Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellakc2 Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Hi! I was dx w/ stage IIIA in July of 2003 had surgery in Sept., chemo and rad. and have been clean ever since. Hang in there and take whatever treatments they offer. Good luck and take care. Mare Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Hi Lillian, Your dad is has a very good accurate instight. There are lots of treatments out there and new onces come along all the time. There are so many people on here who hae beaten the odds. Keep fighting... never give up. We are here for you if you have any questions or just ned support. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elnodel Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 Hi, fellow Connecticut-er. My husband, Len, was diagnosed with IIIA NSCLC in April of 2004; had surgery that month, began chemo in June and then had radiation in the fall because he had one positive lymph node in the mediastinum. He's doing really well now; recovery from surgery took a bit, the chemo went fairly smoothly thanks to all the counter-side-effect meds they gave him, and the radiation, to ensure there were no other miniscule nodes lurking inside there, went pretty quickly, though it did take its toll in exhaustion at the end. Clearly all worth it. He's been NED ever since although we still have bad moments right before the 3 month checkup/tests/scans. I second the advice to get some anxiety medication. He was having panic attacks at night and the xanax took care of that as soon as he began taking it. He's still taking one each night at bedtime but is talking about stopping that -- we'll see. As everyone else has said, it's one day at a time but you can do it! Keeping a record of everything that happens, every question that occurs to you and every possible answer you run across is invaluable. I still ask questions here on this forum when I need to and have taken many of the answers and suggestions that I've gotten with me to the oncologist. Thinking of you as you begin this voyage -- you WILL prevail! Ellen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JanMarie Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 Lillian, Listen to your dad. He is one that proves with age comes wisdom! When my mom learned she had lung cancer Tarceva was not yet on the market so was not available outside clinical trials. Well at my mom's darkest hour when we thought she was going to die soon as she was doing so poorly Tarceva came on the market.First my mom was put on Iressa then the very next month swithced to Tarceva. It only took days for improvement and because of it she has had 1.5 years of pretty good quality life and is now a 2 year survivor of stage IV NSCLC. Had all of this happened a year earlier when Tarceva was not available I do not think my mom would still be here. So your Dad is right as you never know what is right around the corner. Hang in there and believe that you will survive this as I really believe that is part of my mom's secret too. Hugs coming your way. Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JanMarie Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 Lillian, Listen to your dad. He is one that proves with age comes wisdom! When my mom learned she had lung cancer Tarceva was not yet on the market so was not available outside clinical trials. Well at my mom's darkest hour when we thought she was going to die soon as she was doing so poorly Tarceva came on the market.First my mom was put on Iressa then the very next month swithced to Tarceva. It only took days for improvement and because of it she has had 1.5 years of pretty good quality life and is now a 2 year survivor of stage IV NSCLC. Had all of this happened a year earlier when Tarceva was not available I do not think my mom would still be here. So your Dad is right as you never know what is right around the corner. Hang in there and believe that you will survive this as I really believe that is part of my mom's secret too. Hugs coming your way. Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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