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Mom Officially on Hospice Today

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Oh, it's hard to stay away alright: yesterday I got innundated with calls from mom for a period of time begging and pleading with me to take her on a vacation (how I'd promised to pick her up then and go.....didn't happen)....she started to ask me where grandma was (um, grandma passed lots of years ago) and she figured oh, that's why I wasn't coming....on and on it went. All I could think to say to her was that she was too sick for me to take her anywhere -- she said what did I mean? All she had was a sore throat and a temperature of 100 today -- she doesn't remember having LC at this particular time. She doesn't remember her O2 either: she's been caught a couple of times over the last few days without it or having it on improperly -- plus, she's been tying her O2 cord in knots, dropping/cutting off her own litre flow at times. What hurt the worst is when, at one point, she said to me she was gonna' lose her will to live.

She was calling me back every 5 minutes or so for a bit there and doesn't remember talking to me or when I was there last. Apparently I'm agitating her whether I am there or not right now! I did call the nursing home to let them know that if mom exhibits escalating out of control agitated behavior that seems to relate to me and they believe I can help by being there, to let me know and I will be there in a flash. While the confusion remains, the behaviors seem to come and go in bursts. In the meantime, I'm trying to continue with the rest of her affairs as usual: I have no clue how I am gonna' manage only going in 1-2 times a week with this (even though that's what I really need to actually get on top of everything I have to manage around here -- things are soooooo behind; organized chaos, but behind)

It is really hard for me to know exactly what to do right now. I just feel like I am abandoning them by not jumping in reaction to this, yet there's nothing I can really do about it. I did talk to the hospice social worker as well and he seems to think I can reason with her on that stuff: I just don't see how. I have to wait a bit for hospice team to have enough experience with mom before they can really advise me well, I think -- having just signed on on Monday, it's gonna' take them a little bit to really get to know the history and the situation.

What a mess.


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I have seen this with my mother before and it's very difficult to take in. I know you probably feel scared, alone, helpless, and maybe even somewhat numb. Just know that you have all of our support. Do the best you can right now.

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Hi Linda,

So sorry I took so long to post to you. I missed your post for some reason. Please know that Iam saddened by the turn of events for your mom.

This has to be so hard for you to see her like this with all the confusion she is going through. Please know that Iam thinking of you and hope that your mom will be at peace soon. She does not seem to be in pain so at least that is good.


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