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Just some rambling thoughts


judysdaughter

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Ok, so my mom has had 4 rounds (3 weeks on, one week off) of taxol and carboplatin chemo treatments. I don't even know if that's the right lingo. She's been getting chemo since May. She also had 30 sessions of radiation simultaneouly for the last 30 days. She started at stage 4 and went down to 3B. The tumor shrank 20% and the metabolic activity decreased by 90%. They went in removed her upper left lobe of her lung and 3 of her ribs. She worked up until the day before she had the surgery. She has not been on oxygen or an inhaler. She's 63 with slight emphysema.

Everyone (surgeon, nurses) keeps saying how well she's doing.

I read this site and have mixed emotions. On one hand, I think she's definitely in good straits. On the other hand, I think Good God, what do we have ahead of us?

My husband says I have been in denial since May (when she was diagnosed).

She's from Iowa and my grandma is 95 and lives on her own.

She is the only person I know that would take the word of a 3 year old on directions to the toy store (it took them about an hour to go 5 miles).

Her biggest fear is pain and she is currently being "challenged."

Her doctors seem very aggressive, comparitively speaking.

I don't care that she smoked for 40 years.

She really, really, really wants to live.

She is as stubborn as the day is long.

And I love her.

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My husband says I have been in denial since May (when she was diagnosed).

She's from Iowa and my grandma is 95 and lives on her own.

She is the only person I know that would take the word of a 3 year old on directions to the toy store (it took them about an hour to go 5 miles).

Her biggest fear is pain and she is currently being "challenged."

Her doctors seem very aggressive, comparitively speaking.

I don't care that she smoked for 40 years.

She really, really, really wants to live.

She is as stubborn as the day is long.

And I love her

The picture you posted of your mother really gives us insight on her personality and how much you are fighting for her too the best you can.

About being in denial, I don't think you are not facing the cancer or challenges in front of your mom - you're here on this message board and you are looking for information and answers.

People who are really in denial don't do that, because they completely ignore the diagnosis and sometimes even avoid the person.

I think you handle what you can - somedays you can be overwhelmed with what's going on, other days you do best forgetting the cancer and enjoying the moments with your loved one.

It's great you see your mom for all the wonderful unique things she does (I loved the taking directions from a 3yr old)

I think she's inspirational with all she's been through and how she's fighting this horrible disease.

I wish her less pain, I hope the doctors work on managing that.

Your love for her really shines through! I'm Praying for her too!

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