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dcorey33

Newbe looking for suport

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Hi, I was diagnosed with a carcinoid tumor in my right lung a few months ago and had it removed 3 weeks ago via thorcotomy and lobectemy (sorry if I misspelled). It is a fairly rare type of slow growing cancer. I am on the mend now, but still have to have scans every few months for the next 5 years (which I think is standard) I am only 34 and have a young daughter and a husband. This has really been a roller-coaster for us. I have been looking for a place like this for a long time.I hope to find support and others to talk to.

dani

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Hi Dani,

wow, you have been thru alot already! We have some other "young" lung cancer survivors here as well and they are doing well.

Keep posting and keep us updated on how you are doing. Ask questions, come for support, vent, post concerns- whatever you need, we are all here for you.

Welcome.

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Thank you, I really did not think I would get responses so soon. This has been one of the hardest things I have been through. I was a very active person, before I started getting sick. I did karate 3 days a week and cardio kick-boxing 3 days a week. My husband and daughter do karate as well. It was like my life stopped. We have never had things easy, but this was so devastating. Even though most of this is behind me now, I still have a lot ahead of me. I do consider myself lucky. My husband and I have been through so much (I can't even begin to explain). We are still together. I hope to help others as I look for support myself.

dani

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Hello Dani and welcome!

I am sorry you had reason to find this site, but you have definitely come to the right place for support and information.

Just let us know what you need, ask the questions you have and know that there will be someone that can and will help you out.

Sending you lots of prayers and positive thoughts,

Chris

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Dani,

I am so sorry about your diagnosis. You have come to a wonderful place. The people here are amazing. God bless you and I am so thankful that you were able to "get it" as they say. Take care of yourself and enjoy your family!

Jen

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Thank you all for the warm welcome :) I do have one question (If I may). Since I came home from having my surgery my husband has been very overprotective. Even though I have made great progress (according to my surgeon). He still will not let me do anything on my own. Is this normal??

Thanks in advance :)

dani

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If it means you don't have to fold laundry, etc., go with it! Men act differently when they're scared. He's overprotective because he's scared. I would suggest getting counseling as a couple to get through the big ugly. Counseling gives him someone to talk to about his fears and work through them, and the same for you. Sometimes, a little bit of outside perspective is needed.

You also should work back into your active lifestyle. The exercise will be good for you, regulated breathing and all. Have you considered adding yoga to your martial arts, or maybe some lower impact Tai Chi in the meantime? Meditating can help, finding a peaceful place when your mind is troubled...

Welcome to our family. I'm sorry you have reason to be here but can relate to the relief on finding a band such as us - I've been there.

It may not ever be like it used to be, but it is what it is. Accept it, it has touched your life, but don't let it rule your life. Always take time to smell the roses.

Luck to you,

Becky

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Hi, Dani, and welcome! I'm glad things are looking promising for you. Be patient with your hubby -- as one walking in his shoes, I can tell you, we do get overprotective and have to learn to balance that with allowing our spouses to do what they can. Lucie and I still work at that after almost 4 years. I don't want her to overdo, but I do want her to do what she can because it helps her spirits -- get back some normalcy.

We talk here about the "new normal" or "new norm". It means things will not return to the way they were, but you can move on and have a good life after lc. Make the best of the new normal. Don

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Dani,

Welcome and sorry you had to find us because of your diagnosis.

"Over-protective" is my middle name when it comes to my husband. I have to really try and stifle it to force him to have at least some activity and not feel guilty. I think it comes from the overwhelming fear of a cancer diagnosis. I've also seen men who, before their wives had cancer, were total jerks. They then became the most doting husbands around! People are funny that way. I know I'm not doing him any favors by protecting him and, as time has gone by, I've let go of the "leash" a little. He just loves you bunches and can't help himself at the moment. It will ease up in time.

My best to you and your family.

Welthy

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Hi Danni,

I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis but very glad they were able to remove it.

My husand also has a carcinoid cancer, very rare. Unfortunately he has a atypical carcinoid which is rapid growing, and was already in his lymph nodes and liver when diagnosed. Surgery was not an option.

He was 31, and very healthy and active when diagnosed.

Please be patient with your husband as Don and Snowflake have mentioned. I am the wife/caregiver of a cancer patient, and I can tell you only from my point of view. I know how hard this diagnosis was for you, but it was also hard for him. He is scared, and is fearful of losing you. He now sees your mortality and frailty as a person and all he wants to do is help you, make things easier for you, keep you safe to recover.

What has worked for me, is when my husband explains to me that he needs to do certain things so he can rebuild his strength. I know I smother him and overprotect him. It is just that I love him so much.

Your husband is obviously the same.

I wish you the best in your recovery, and will keep you in my prayers.

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Thank you for your responses. It does make sense and I do really understand it is just frustrating sometimes. I have been walking every day since I have been home. I am up to 2 1/2 miles a day along with the regular daily stuff. I have always been a very active and independent person and my hubby and I compete with each other all the time. I guess I just have to get use to the "New Normal" :wink: My surgeon told me I could go back to karate in 3 months, I just can't spar for at least 1 year :roll: . This is all still really new to me it has taken alot for me to give up my household responsibilities. Slowly my hubby, daughter and I are working through everything. I just want it all to happen NOW and I have to let go of that, and realize things take time.

dani

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dani, Welcome..

Wouldn't it be nice if we could

go back to our pre cancer days, when we were

nieve (sp?) and just went about out everyday lives?

We can do our best but as Don said there is

a new normal in our life, we take it from there

and do the best we can. With time things will get easier for you and your family

Kathy

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Hi Dani. YOU say you are just 3 weeks post thorocotomy? Did you have an open thorocotomy with a long scar or did you have VAT or video assisted which has small cuts ? Boy if you have had an open thorocotomy you are unbelievable. I really don't remember wanting to do housework at 3 weeks but of course about that time I was heading back to chemo sessions which may have made a difference. It just really sounds like you are way ahead of most of us! Don't overdue. Keep us posted.

Donna G

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I have a 12 inch scar on my back and they removed part of one rib and wired it back in place and two 1 1/4 tube incisions on my side for drains. They had to remove the lower third of my right lung. I had an awesome surgeon and my scar is really thin. I do tend to over do it, but I have always been a quick healer. It also helped that I was very active before, and I am extremely stubborn with a high tolerance for pain. I have followed Dr.'s orders to a tea, but even he was very surprised at my progress. In fact he has cleared me to go back to work with no restrictions July 17th. Six weeks after surgery.

dani

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Welcome Dani. Wow, you are an inspirational and amazing person! Your fitness level is obviously helping you bunches, but please watch the high tolerance for pain thing right now as you recover from the surgery.

Take good care and keep us posted.

Linda

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Hi Dani!

Great to hear you are exercising. I walk between 2-5 miles and day as well. You can't beat it and the cancer hates it!

If you need anything, please yell. We're here to help you.

Charleen is my hero when it comes to caregivers. She is awesome.

Darrell

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I made the decision today to climb Half Dome. A bunch of friends have done it 2 years running and I have been too sick in the past, but I think I just might be able to do it this time. After my husband, daughter and I get back So. CA we are going to start training. I have been envious of my friends in the past doing something up till now I could only dream about, but now it is my turn. My husband is going to help me, and make sure I don't take on to much to soon :roll:. I know it is out of love. He lost me once several years ago (unrelated, a misdiagnosis that nearly took my life before all of this) and he won't let it happen again.

For the first time in a long time I feel like I belong. I thank heaven for all of you. Your stories have touched me. I am glad to be able to get to know all of you. You are wonderful people to take others in so openly :)

Now I just have to figure how to use the rest of the board LOL :)

dani

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Ummmm, I'm just speechless -- your spirit and inspirational example just rocks Dani!!!!!! If anyone is gonna' complete the climb, YOU ARE.

Can't wait to hear how you're doing when training starts -- how do you train for a climb like that?

Linda

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Dani it sounds like you are doing great, and with your drive and strong will I know you will climb Half Dome. It is truly amazing your recovery and determination to push beyond pain and limitations.

And after this cancer journey, these accomplishments will taste sweeter and mean more. Heck, even the small daily tasks like housework will no longer be a chore but an accomplishment that many people don't recognize. You ROCK!!!

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