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To the Survivors


KatieB

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I wanted to make a specific post and THANK YOU for sharing your stories in the MY STORY forum and also most recently in candidly answering the topic in the LC Survivors Forum that Connie B. posted on "Survivor Fears".

I've learned so much just reading those posts. I've learned about the human emotions and reactions accociated with living with this disease, I've learned about perserverance, extreme courage and hope.

I've gotten a glimpse of what it is like thru your words..and I wanted to thank all of you.

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I'll join in this one, KatieB....I've been reading ConnieB's post on this as well in LC Survivors (just so, so glad Connie did that one) as a caregiver here......I just want to know what patients feel and go through in this so badly so I can be better at the caregiver role when my own "patient" can't or won't tell me such things....is sooooo important in this journey to know such things. At least when we don't or can't do that between our own families, maybe from the learning here we can at least take action more wisely with our own loved ones. Observation and vicarious learning works, I think.

Linda

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Katie, thanks for your post. It jogged me to read the thread, which I had not done. Very insightful and very helpful comments. Thanks to Connie for starting the thread. Lucie pretty much shares with me her fears so I am fortunate to know what is going on most times. Sure do appreciate this site. Don

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:cry: You folks are making me cry again tonite but that is ok been doing it a lot lately. Deb was quiet about what was going through her mind the whole time. I knew there was fear. After she passe I found a book from he rreligion called facing your fears. Unfortunately the book called healing your body was too late and did not make that up. I wondered whatr she was thinking but not telling me. She tried so hard not too show her fears and the terror that ran through her mind i think. These posts have opened my eyes to a whole new world I never saw before this. I wish i had known a lot of this a long time ago. Even though i do not think I could have helped conquer those fears, I think I wa sstill her Knight in Shining armour. Just couldn't kill the beast easily enough for her but went down swinging for all she could. Thanks finally stopped Crying to write this. I send prayers for all here who are fighting the beast.
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Thank you, Katie. Part of what I wrote on my Talk Therapy thread last night, that I lost, was that Connie had started an awesome thread and I begged lc survivors to post there. Why? Because, to me, it's all about "identification". By that, I mean, part of our desires to continue to fight, whether a survivor, caregiver or griever comes from our identification with others that have experienced the same things that we have.

I remember that I wrote something like this: If you are a survivor and you have fears, for crying out loud, post them on that thread! Why? Maybe you are Mr. or Ms. Tough and Strong, but if you have feelings, a fear or fears, somebody else reading this board has them, too. Just by writing it on this board, someone will make the identification and be so encouraged by YOUR words. YES, YOUR words. YOU are important. YOUR input is important. If they see that you have the same fears that they do, yet you are going to work, playing golf, doing aerobics, making jokes about shaving your head, driving race cars or motorcycles, etc., their eyes will be opened and they will know that if Frank or Becky or Geri or Debi, or whoever, can do it, then they can do it, too. They will know that they can still function, and function quite well, even though they have those fears.

During the time when I was posting heavily, I made a lot of friends and along the way every single one of them said something at some time that kept my chin up and my hope ignited. Then, after Don died, and even now, one of the main reasons that I am fighting to learn how to live my life without my husband is because others on here have done it, too. Others have posted their feelings, fears, frustrations and loneliness, yet they are learning to live without their spouse.

Yes, we gain knowledge here. Yes, we get encouragement here, but what I think is the most, the biggest and the greatest thing we get here and give here is identification. Identification with others who have walked or are walking the walk we're walking.

If I didn't know that people like Ginny and Ann have walked this walk and been just as devastated as I am now, and felt what I'm feeling, I would think there was no hope for me to ever get past this depression. And go look at that thread. There were three people that posted that have been doing the same thing I have been doing - living in the pits of hell because they were uncomfortable to talk to someone and were keeping it to themselves.

That's identification! So, go post on that thread, please.

Love to all,

Peggy

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