dumpy222 Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Hi friends Just feeling low at the moment thought I`d say hello and have a moan... I`m going through that much emotion I dont know whats wrong with me, I`ve had the odd moment of despair but snapped out of it. Today I cant get myself to perk up, just keep thinking and thinking... My 4 year old starts school in September I want dad to be here to see her in her uniform.... I want him to see chrismas and new year... I want him to see his 76th birthday... I want him to see mom`s 70th birthday... I want him to see my 30th birthday... I`ve got so many things I want dad to see and be part of. Its all the uncertainty thats doing it, the not knowing if the nasty thing will go, the not knowing how long we have left together. Why why us? why anyone? Sorry for venting Donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Hi Donna, I am glad you let us know what is on your mind. If nothing else it does help to share those feelings, and here is one of the best places to do so. I cannot offer you answers but I can tell you that you and your dad are in my prayers and I am sending tons and tons of positive thoughts to you! Feel free anytime to vent here. We understand. Hugs Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumpy222 Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 Hi Thanks for replying and yes you are right there will never be enough time with my dad.. I want dad to be here forever and ever and I know its not going to happen, I`m going to do like you said so mine and dad`s goal is to see Chelsea go to school on september the 6th... I`m 29 years old and feel like I`m about 14, dad isnt any older to me he`s still the same as he always was, its hard to take him having cancer cause I can see the effects of it on him.. Would it be wrong to say I wanted dad to die of old age peacefully in his sleep? Donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumpy222 Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 Can I ask a question too Dad is to have 4 cycles of chemo he has had 2 now, do they scan him before he finishes all cycles or would they have a look now? I`m so praying that its shrunk the beast Donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Check With Dr for Best answer when possible. When Deb had treatments Scans were usually about a month afterwards to give the drugs time to work and get throught the body. Too soon in between to tell so had to wait a while Might Be different with your Oncologist though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Well, venting is one thing we do here, whenever we need. No need to apologize. It is one thing we do best here. It was your turn. As far as when scans are done, it is best to ask the onc because it varies with the person, the treatment,the aggressiveness of the cancer, etc. Be patient (ha!). Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jendew Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 I know only too well how you feel. I'm so sorry you are going through this...all of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastCoastLadi Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Donna, Please know it is ok to vent. As far as when your dad will have any tests, you definitely have to ask his dr. I think many of us can totally relate to you, cancer sucks!, sorry, but true. It takes so much, at times so quickly, it makes your head spin, and leaves you helpless. You want to do anything you possibly can to control it, you try and try. The best thing to do is don't hide your feelings, know that you are not alone, try to be strong for your children. Also try not to overload yourself, I know it may be difficult but I have tried to live one step, one moment at a time. Grace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Donna, It is good to vent. It is amazing how much this disease controls us. I have been talking to others about how it seems to control. I mean, it just seems that we are on this rollercoaster...wait, tests, treatments, wait, smile, tests, frown, wait, worry, wait, worry, wait....it feels so never ending. I think that is why I find so much solace in this site, where I get to see others on the same roller coaster ride, with many getting off the coaster fully intact, feeling great, and ready to share the story! God bless you Donna. We are so close in age. I just turned 30 this year, have two kids, and I too want my dad to see it all. We pray at our house, and that has given me peace. I hope you find peace too...however that may be. Bless you! Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumpy222 Posted July 11, 2006 Author Share Posted July 11, 2006 Hi Everyone I`m feeling slightly better today after my rant yesterday, you are all so kind and helpful Love and light to you all Donna xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 I always come here to vent. I usually feel better afterwards, also! Glad today is a better day. We take what we can get on this journey, huh? I have felt the same way as you ("I wish Mom could be here for Chris's First Communion...my birthday...etc.") So far so good--but Katie's right, it will never be enough! Keep us updated on your dad--and you! Prayers for now for both of you. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdjenkins Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Donna, I understand all to well. Just take one day at a time and enjoy every minute. Push all negative thought from your mind and enjoy the day together!!! Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Hi Donna I just popped by here to see if you had posted again and I am glad now that I did. Glad you are feeling better, and remember what eveyone else is saying, as well as myself.. We are always here and willing to listen and do what we can to help~ Hugs Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 I understand those emotions well. I remember when my mom was first diagnosed feeling so empty and getting annoyed just seeing people walking down the streets with smiles on their faces. It was like how can anyone smile????? As for scanning, I forgot how many roudns my mom had, either 4 or 5 over a few months b/c each round was 3 weeks. THey scanned her after 2 or 3 to see if there was shrinkage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma's kid Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 (((Donna))) Cyber hugs and it's good to hear that today is a better day! As others have said, come here and vent all you need to..it really does help to let it all out! We're here for each other and will help in any way we can. Blessings, Libby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrannieB Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 I know just how you feel. I lost my mom in 1997 when she was just 60 and I was just 31. There just never seems to be enough time. Now it looks like my half sister/best friend/roommate has LC. Life's tough, but we just keep going, don't we? Hang in there! Frannie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumpy222 Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 Hiya Another day another smile... Dad has the hospice nurse coming to see him again today, she is lovely so cheerful and helpful... She pops in every now and again to see how he`s doing and if we are all ok.. Couldnt be there today though little one wanted to go to bed.. Love and light all Donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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