Guest Posted March 20, 2003 Share Posted March 20, 2003 Hi! I'm new to this board and am desperately searching for information. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with NSCLC in May 2002 with mets to the brain and adrenal glad. She had emergency surgery on her brain in May to remove a tumor that was causing pressure and that is how we found out about everything. It's been a whirlwind from there. The dr said she had maybe 6 mos to live and she went through radiation on her brain and did Taxol/Carboplatinum for 6 cycles. Now she's on Gemzar in her first cycle of that. She seems very fatigue although she won't admit to it and has shortness of breath that she also ignores. It's very hard on my husband and I to see her going through this. We are her only caregivers (her husband passed away several years ago) and her moods are terrible to deal with. She won't talk about it and acts as if everything is still normal, but gets agitated and frustrated with us because she is so dependant on us now. We don't mind and we are more or less living with her (we work during the day and then spend every night with her and make sure we have dinner with her or for her every night). We don't know how to prepare for what is to come and have no idea of how much longer she has to live or how to deal with her constant mood swings. Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this with a loved one?? Please help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Hi there! I am very sorry you have to go through this, you will have days of ups and downs and days when you will be angry and sad all within minutes. It's important to take care you yourselves as well as your mother in law. She is going through a huge emotional and physical rollercoaster. My husband was stage IV NCSLC and after diagnosis, he was a changed man. Alot of it came from the chemo and painkillers and because of brain mets, the disease itself. But you will be surprised what strength you have to go through the day to day. My advice is read, read and read some more so you know the ins and outs of the disease and there will be very few surprises. Develop a good relationship with your mom in law's doctors and ask all the questions you need. Most of the mood swings she is going through are very normal. Most important, be there for her as much as she needs you too and take care of yourselves too. This site was a godsend to me through me and my husband's ordeal. You will find answers, support and hope in these many pages. I will keep you my prayers! Keep us updated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Shamrock, Kim said it quite well. Hang in there with us. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaveG Posted March 22, 2003 Share Posted March 22, 2003 And now from a survivor: The mood swings you speak of are very normal, if there is such a thing as a normal mood swing. When I was told I had lung cancer (I was diagnosed unexpectedly following a car accident - my story is in ABOUT US, off the home page), it came as a total surprise. It was as if I had just run into a brick wall. Everything stopped, work, family, responsibilities, eberything. The only thing that mattered was "can this be taken care of?" and "how long do I have?" My thought of lung cancer was: People die of Lung Cancer! I went into denial, went through the "why me's?", went through anger, went through self blame for past habits (I quit smoking in 97), withdrew, went into depression, then somehow or other, went into acceptence. I soon found that people do survive lung cancer and are able to live next to normal lives. The one fear I have, however, as a Stage I, is recurrence, although recurrence is fairly low for Stage I. All of us who have survived do come to realize that recurrence is part of the whole process. Survivorship, I believe, is based primarily upon where a person wants to place themselves in this scheme of lung cancer. There are two sides to lung cancer: living with lung cancer, or dying of lung cancer. Each of us, who are survivors, have made a decision as to which side we will be on. As our name implies: Lung Cancer Survivors for Change, we are about survivorship. You are going to find Hope, Faith, Support, and SURVIVORSHIP here. That's what this site and message board is about: SURVIVORSHIP. There are some very wonderful, beautiful, courageous people here and we care a great deal for everyone here. We are one big HAPPY family here. When one of us is down, we're all down. Likewise, when one has something BIG, or small, to brag about, we're all very happy. Whether one has had surgery, chemo, or radiation, we know the pain that goes with lung cancer. We have been there and done that. Welcome to Lung Cancer Survivors for Change. We are sorry you have have the need to be here, but we are happy to help you get through this with your sister. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 Thank you so much for your wonderful replies. It has really helped a lot. I feel like the only person who i have to talk about this with is my husband. His mother does not want a lot of people to know about her cancer. Even lifelong friends in the neighborhood have no idea because she refuses to deal with the questions or worse, the pity. It's hard to deal with this and live in a cocoon the whole time too. This is a great message board and i appreciate all of your support and words of encouragement!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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