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OMG cant cope with much more

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It isn't fair! I know how that is like, a month to the day after my dad died of bladder cancer my husband finds out he has a tumor in his lung, which turned out to be lung cancer. It is times like these where you ask the whys?, and unfortunately I don't have any answers, but to say I know how you feel. Keep in there.


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I am sorry to hear this latest news~

It can certainly be overwhelming at times but it will get easier. We are here for you, just let us know how we can help? Feel free to vent, yell, scream, cry.. there is always a shoulder to lean on here

Sending prayers and positive thoughts to you and your family


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Urgh!!!! I am so sorry to read your post. I cannot believe it. Sometimes I wonder why so much is thrown at one time. Urgh!!!! The cancer roller coaster is amazingly tough already, let alone for two.

God bless you. I will say a prayer for your peace, your strength, and for healing for your dad and MIL.


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I understand how you feel. My mom died of SCLC almost nine years ago and I was her primary caretaker. Now it looks like my (half) sister has LC and she's seeing all the same doctors in all the same offices as my mom did, and I'll be taking care of her, too. Life ain't fair! Hang in there.


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How much more crap are we going to have thrown at us...

Never ask this question. Never say it can't get worse. It can.

I empathize with you, but don't start to wallow in self-pity. It's not about you, it really isn't.

The year I was diagnosed was not pretty around our world, either. My husband lost his sister just months before I was diagnosed. My paternal grandmother died just after my diagnosis and was buried the day I had my surgery. My maternal grandfather was diagnosed with cancer of the bile duct and then my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer. My grandfather died, my father had surgery. A family friend was killed in a motorcycle crash, and uncle died of lung cancer, and a great friend from high school died of a stomach aneurysm. My maternal grandmother had bypass surgery, my mother was diagnosed with diabetes and just when I thought it couldn't get worse, I had to put my dog down.

I'm sorry it's happening in your world, but get over it and keep moving forward. Being diagnosed with cancer is not the worst thing that can happen in life. Find your "happy place" and escape there frequently, and try not to stall in the "why me" moments. I found early on the answer to "Why me?" is "Why not?".

Luck to yours,


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So very sorry that everything seems to be hitting you at one time. Like Becky Snowflake said, never say or think that nothing more can go wrong because it always can. I'll be remembering you and your family through this rough time.

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Your thoughts and feelings mean everything!! You have been hit with a two by four over the head. You must be stunned. I can remember when my Mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, I sat around for a day or so in a total stuper. I was late in a pregnancy with my twins and thought my world was coming to an end. Couldn't imagine that MY MOM of all people could EVER get cancer. My Father died from liver cancer five years after my Mother passed. All was quiet on the western front for almost 20 years. I kept feeling that my life was going too well and the "other shoe" would be dropping. Turns out it dropped in an unexpected way with the awareness that one of my youngest children had developed a drug addiction. I was overwhelmed and through two years after that I thought I had some invisible "protection" that NOTHING ELSE could possibly go wrong. Key word here is WRONG! Hubby was diagnosed with late stage lung cancer in the middle of son going through various rehabs, courts, lawyers, jail, etc. etc. I now realize that there are more than "two shoes" to be dropped in this lifetime. I still look around me though and figure that I'd stick with my problems over others I have seen. I've also rationalized that my parents died when I was relatively young because I couldn't take care of elderly parents and a sick husband and child at the same time. I know it's too early in the game for you to evaluate your new situation, but maybe in time. You'll get through this -- sadly, we HAVE to, we have no choice. But we also can be angry, stunned, etc. too. It's okay and part of the process. We are all unique and handle things in ways that work best for us and don't let anyone tell you different. (I've been know to have private "pity parties" for myself on some days!)

I'm so sorry that you are going through more stress.

My best to you,


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I know that times things just get overwhelming, especially when you are dealing with one thing and you are hit and blindsided with another punch. :evil:

We are here to support you. You can vent anytime but never say things can't get worse. Unfortunately, things can. We just have to learn to cope when they happen. If it becomes overwhelming as this is for you we are always here to listen and give you support. I know how scarey this disease is. Hang in there, it will get better as you learn to accept things we just cannot change.

Keep faith as firth doe not get you around trouble, it gets you through it.

I hope your MIL will become stable with treatment.

Keep us posted.


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Hi Dumpy (boy, it's uncomfortable calling anyone dumpy, but hey what the heck I look and feel pretty dumpy these days too :lol: )

You should never feel bad about venting. We all do it here from time to time. Some of us (like me) do it more than others. There are times in this journey where you will be on the upswing and be able to encourage others, and then there are the downturns that require screaming yelling and sharing. That is what a support community is about. Sharing the good and the bad.

Yes, you have been hit with a lot, and you do deserve to vent and feel like you've been abused and that this is unfair. No one should have to EVER experience cancer; and especially not with more than one of their loved ones. It sucks.

People lately have tried to tell me that "God never gives us more than we can handle", but I have to tell you I don't believe it. In the past month I've lost my true love and soulmate to LC which is consuming my heart and soul with grief, my aunt passed away from Ovarian cancer the same day as my husband's funeral, my uncle was diagnosed with SCLC 2 weeks prior to my husband's passing and was given only a few weeks to live, I had a miscarriage last week of the child that my husband wanted so badly and I prayed for so hard to have a piece of him forever, Saturday my brother in law was shipped out for 2 years of active duty in Kosovo, and I just found out that my husband's only form of employee Life insurance, a measly 10K, is not eligible for payout because he wasn't technically a full time employee at the time of his death, so there is nothing to help pay the massive funeral bills. I tell you all this not to compare, or say poor me, but to show you that somehow no matter how sh!tty life gets, we still breath in and out and somehow go on one more day.

There is no way, God could expect one person to handle this, or cope with this, what he expects is that we kick, cry, scream, cry, fight, cry, and somehow survive. God does sometimes give us more than we can handle, it is just that hopefully when he does it, he also leads us to people who will help share the burden.

That is what LCSC website is about... sharing the burden that would be otherwise too great for any of us to bear alone.

I pray for you Dumpy and your family. God Bless


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Dear Dumpy,

Your in the Caregivers Fourm and of course you can vent here any time your heart needs to do so. It's very hard when your dealing with one loved one with lung cancer, let alone with TWO!! :shock::shock::( I know just how you feel.

My mom was was dx.d with lung cancer way back in March of 1987, and in May of 1987 my sister was dx.d with lung cancer. IT SUCKED! All our lives were turned upside down, inside out, and any other way you can imagine. My mom died in July 1987 and my sister died Feb 1988. It was very hard going through all that.

Stay strong and don't worry about what you say or don't say. There's no right or wrong in how people deal with this journey, be it caregiver or survivor.

We all just do the best we can. It's never easy for any of us.

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It does seem that things happen all at once. It's been a pretty terrible year all around here too... It DOES feel like you are being beaten repeatedly by a 2X4 when so much happens.

You WILL get your footing underneath you again and keep going. Because there really isn't another option.

Take your time to feel it when you need, but don't let that keep you in one place. Your family members need you.

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