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I am very sad tonight. I'm all alone and I really miss Chris. I think that the harsh reality is setting in on another level. I live alone and I don't have many close friends. Chris was everything to me. I don't know what lies ahead but I imagine that he was the love of my life. I just started taking a class last week towards my MBA....I am having a very hard time concentrating on any studying. I also started a new job within my department this past Friday. It's good and bad...it is great because it is an excellent opportunity, but I am going to be swamped with work and I will be working alone for the quarter close without further training (I'm a coporate accountant = stress). I brought work home with me this weekend and I can't seem to get anything done....I'm useless. I've been on the couch since 4pm today.....nothing got done. This has to be related to grieving. I just can't seem to get going. I know that I need to just pick myself up and move forward but it is hard. My problems are nothing compared to what most people on this board are going through. I do realize this.....I am just throwing myself a pity party tonight.

About 2 weeks ago, I had been talking to Chris' cousin on the internet.....he is also named Chris, looks like Chris and is close to his age. In a way I felt like I was talking to MY Chris. Well, every night I looked forward to talking to him, and I haven't heard from him now in about a week and a half. I am upset by this....almost like I have lost Chris twice. :cry: I am feeling emotional and alone tonight.


I also find it very hard to consentrate on anything. I believe it does have to do with grieving and also depression.

I wish I knew the secret about how to get past this but I don't. We will all go through this in our own way and in our own time. I have heard that we are not suppost to make any majoy changes before a year. You have a lot of things going on right now. My advice is to give yourself some time to get through this. I think you realize that you are trying to transfer your feeling for your lost husband to his cousin. I would probably do the same thing in your situation. See if you can make some good friends in your area. You might want to consider getting some counceling, I am doing that for myself. You are not alone in this process.

Prayers and Hugs, Shelly

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It is okay to feel pity, what has happened is so unreal, it is hard to believe he is gone, I know. Give yourself the time to be sad, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now, and are overwelmed. Try and do it one day at a time. You do have friends here who want to listen to you and support you, we all need that when dealing with grief. We are here for you, and hope you will be here for us as well.


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I am here too.. you can write me anytime you need anything... we are all friends here who understand. I know you love Chris very much and that will never change just know that he knows that and he is always with you. You are healing right now and it all takes time. We are here for you though.

God bless you


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