mamasbabygirl Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 I am partially ashamed, sometimes not so much, to tell you all that I completely drunk and I do not care. Mom's neurosurgeon called us today to tell su that the bumps are tumors growing out of mom's head. There is nothing he can do, but refer her to hospice. Mom does not know this yet. Her Dr. will come and tell her tomorrow. He gave her a timeline of 1-2 months. I think that everyone else has been expecting this bc of her declne (drooping mouth causing extreme slurred speech, large bumps growng ont eh side of her head), but mom was talking about when she goes back to work just last week. She has been cracking up the nurses at every turn. I have never told you guys that I do a "toenail desgin once a week on mom's toes", but today, I did a dark color with white polka dots and smiley faces today for her special birthday desgin and she was sure to show them off to everyone who entered her room. I simply cannot beleive that her Dr. will walk into her room tomorrow and say "Sandy, I am sorry to tell you we can't help you and you will be entering hospice. How in the hell can I possible help her through this news? I am so afriad she will shut down and give up. I think that even if she died with hope, it would be far better than being depressed and focusing on death until the day came. I have been questioning everything lately-my role in life, at my job, as a mother, a daughter, a girlfriend and on and on and on. I ahev said so many times that I feel it is ultimately mporatnt for the pateitn to understand what is happening, but today, I am quite relieved that mom can celebrate her birthday with hope, certain nervousness, but hope. Meawhile, I feel that I am grieving and deceiving her. I think that I am going through some major life changes, self changes, hopefully self discovery-it certainly does not feel like it. This is surreal... I may amke several posts. It just helps to write, it may not make sense and I am sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.