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3 months & still missing mom


meg06

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I'm new here. My mother died in April after a year-long battle with nsclc. She was always a strong woman and had never been sick. She quick smoking over 30 years ago, but it seemed to come out of the blue. We took care of her, and she tried everything the doctors recommended.

I miss her so much. I am her only daughter. I think about her all the time, and cannot believe she is not here to talk to every day like we used to. How will I ever get over it?

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I'm so sorry you lost your mom...

You don't get over it I'm afraid. We simply get "used" to it, and go on, because they would want that for us and that is all we can do.

I'm sending a hug and prayers that one day, the wonderful memories of your mom out weigh the sadness, and comfort you. She will always be with you.

Hugs,

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I can so relate to your story-although my mom only lasted 5 months and she too did everything the Drs. recommended. It has been 2 months since I lost her, and seeing the way she was living towards the end, I knew she could not go on like that, nor would I want her to. It doesn't make the pain any easier for me, but I can accept it alot easier than my Dad's death. He died of a massive heart attack and there was no good-byes. Mom and I talked daily for years, but when she was diagnosed, our talks were a lot deeper than in the past. We talked alot about death and her feelings about everything. I thank the good lord up above for giving us those five months. I miss her daily and some times more than the day before, but that just proves to me how much I love her. I hope I never forget her unconditional love for me and my family. I hope you too can find some peace in knowing that she is in such a remarkable place and in time you will see her again.

Hugs and prayers

Connie

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Thank you for all the kind words.

My mom was an Irish woman who kept her thoughts private, pretty much to the end. She knew what her future held, but we never really talked about it. When we brought her home from the hospital for the last time, she asked me how long the doctors said. I told her a few weeks, and she said, "I asked you because I knew you'd tell me." She knew my brother wouldn't be able to.

It was comforting to have those conversations with her, knowing she had that trust in me.

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Meg, my Keith was like that too. He usually held things pretty privately. When we talked about his cancer at all, it was always positive and hopeful.

I know he had a lot of faith in God for a cure, and he really was hopeful. But part of me wonders if he didn't talk to me about alternatives or any fears because he loved me so much he didn't want me to be afraid or burdened.

I'll never know, and it hurts me. I wonder sometimes if he was afraid, if he was suffering mentally and emotionally. I've lived my life with Keith so there would me no regrets. But that is the one thing that still haunts me. I regret we never talked about the possibility of his dying. I don't know what he was thinking and feeling at the end. :cry:

You are so blessed to have such a loving and trusting relationship with your mom. Treasure each moment.

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Meg - I'm so sorry you lost your mom. I don't think you will ever 'get over it', but I think in time the pain will subside and you will remember more of the good times than the bad. 3 months is still early in the grieving process and you are probably just coming to the reality that she is gone.

Prayers that you find peace, Karen

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You don't get over it. I talk to people who say, "My mom has been gone twelve...fifteen... twenty...thirty years, and I'm still not over it." This scares me, but I just try to think about what my cousin told me about losing her dad. "I look at the grief and sadness I feel as a GIFT, because it is a sign of how much we loved each other." I SO agree!!! I think if I didn't have this grief I would feel lost now--it is my new normal, and I am trying to accept that new normal, although I will never accept her death.

Best wishes to you. My condolences on the loss of your mom. I hope to see you around here more often.

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