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how long will this go on ?


Bill

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Your Dad needs to talk to someone I think Personally. Life has gotten out of control for him over this. I think possibly his minister may be able to help him. I lost my wife a little over 6 months ago. I have not donated anyhting but have removed some personal toiletries, and socks and shoes. The cleaning needs to be done and the lawn has to be cut The meals have to be cooked. I talked to my late wife and still do every night and take flowers every Sunday. Have bad days and decent days but have to keep going forward. I personally think A minister or a local grief support may help him emotionally with this. The pain never goes away but will diminish. Is there anything you can do to et him motivated to do some stuff around house or possibly get some one to come and help get started with things? These are my thoughts on the next step and I send Prayers for both of you in dealing with this. I know from wexperience how hard it is.

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Randy ,

TY for the advice. My brother Bill is going through a difficult period right now but he is strong and will recover. Some of you that have been through this know that these tragedies can be made worse and complicated when unfortunate issues can surafce and more vulture$ than angel$ circle overhead.

Carol ( Bill's sister )

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Bill (& Carol)

I read your earlier post, I feel for all of you. Everyone reacts differently to death. There is no certain right way. I am sorry that there is difficulty going on in your family right now. You also can learn through the difficult times peoples' true colors can come out, this is not always the case. I just think everyone needs to take it slow. Talking is good, if the lines are communication are there, if not, you can turn to those that will be there, have been there, and continue to be there for you.

Please take care

Grace

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"EastCoastLadi"]Bill (& Carol)

You also can learn through the difficult times peoples' true colors can come out, this is not always the case.

Grace

Grace,

Most definitely and in this case you can color it GREEN !!!!!!!

Carol

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Sorry this is going on. Happened in my family too and the rift it caused went on for years. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that MY family would act this way. My parents would have been been ashamed with us. Thankfully everyone finally came to their senses and we all feel rather sheepish about it in retrospect. So many precious years and memories were lost over stupid things. We now see each other quite frequently to make up for lost time and to spend time with my husband (who is the first in this family generation to experience a major illness). I pray that things calm down and reason prevails for your family. It is sooooo hard to see beyond the emotions at this time. May God bless you on this difficult journey.

Welthy

Welthy

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Dear Carol,

Since the original post was deleted, I don't know all that was said, but it doesn't matter. These times are tough for everyone! You just must be such a wonderful sister to love and support Bill and your nephew the way you are. I talked to Bill tonight, and you're right, he's strong, and I'm confident he will be ok. He needs you, though, so I'm glad you are there for him! Also, don't worry about those danged vultures. God's angels are much stronger by far, and they will win the war!

Dear Bill,

I enjoyed our talk. All the fringe troubles will eventually be history and become memories that will eventually fade and lose their sting. Like the rest of us that are grieving, you just need to talk. I don't know why talking helps so much - it just does. I hope you will find a good support group (or person) where you can talk.

Dear Rob,

God bless you, honey! I don't know all your struggles, but I know they are there. The list is long I'm sure, and very painful. If you're anything like your dad, though, you know how to fight against adversity, and those angels are on your side, too!

All my love and prayers to all three of you,

Peggy

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"RandyW"]Your Dad needs to talk to someone I think Personally. Life has gotten out of control for him over this. I think possibly his minister may be able to help him. I lost my wife a little over 6 months ago. I have not donated anyhting but have removed some personal toiletries, and socks and shoes. The cleaning needs to be done and the lawn has to be cut The meals have to be cooked. I talked to my late wife and still do every night and take flowers every Sunday. Have bad days and decent days but have to keep going forward. I personally think A minister or a local grief support may help him emotionally with this. The pain never goes away but will diminish. Is there anything you can do to et him motivated to do some stuff around house or possibly get some one to come and help get started with things? These are my thoughts on the next step and I send Prayers for both of you in dealing with this. I know from wexperience how hard it is.

Pretty harsh and quick krecovery that you expect. My brother not only witnessed his beloved wife pass on June 19 but he signed the morphine drip directive that ended her life. A true double whammy that he must deal with.

Carol

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...
"adela"]What could help your Dad and brother is a transition (grief)support group from the Wellness community. I live in Torrance California.

There are 6 men in the group.

PM me and will foward information.

Adela,

Thanks for the thought. I will tell Bill. He has always kept pretty much to himself and submerged himself in work up until Etsuko's cancer diagnosis when it all came to a screeching halt. He is a clinical pharmacist and eventually will return to work but he is in no hurry to step back into a medical setting after over 2 years of medical chaos and tragedy. Etsuko's down hill slide the last month of her life was heart breaking to all of us.

Carol

ESC 7/28/47 - 6/19/06

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