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More ramblings.


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During my trip to Boston this week I was lamenting that I had broken my thumb nail way below the nail line. It hurt like the dickens but I was more annoyed that just when all my nails had finally grown again (chemo did a number on them and made them very soft) one had broken and I was going away for the weekend.

Sound shallow huh? It suddenly dawned on me that people on this board who haven't been dealing with LC for very long may not realise that life does return to worrying about insignificant things. Four years ago I was fighting for my life and now I was fretting over a finger nail.

I didn't think that I would ever complain about a bad hair day again or a bad haircut, but I do now that my hair has been back for a while.

I sometimes solve the worlds problems during these drives only to forget them when I arrive at my destination, but this line of thought stuck with me. Maybe it will help only one person here to know that as much as life changes completely and forever once cancer hits, the "new normal" does include a lot of the old things that right now seem so trivial.

For a long time my identity was my cancer, it consumed my life and everyone's around me. I didn't think that I would ever be just ME again, to be able to think about all the day to day things that make up life - if it wasn't about my cancer it couldn't be important could it? That does come to an end, finger nails (or something equally as silly) do become an issue at times and I've got to tell you that you will thoroughly enjoy that day!

I hope that all these midnight ramblings will help someone know that things will eventually change, it's great to sweat the small stuff again.


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Hi Geri,

Thanks for your lovely post, It was very eye opening.

I have been feeling guilty about everything being about cancer with my family. It's all we discuss. It's the first and last thing on my mind every single day. I long for normalcy to return to my family. I long for a bad haircut to be my biggest concern, god knows I've had my share :wink:

It's so strange how the trivial things seem so appealing now? I look forward to the day when my family and I can enjoy them again.:)

Thanks for that, I needed it!

Warmest regards,


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