niececola Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 Hi, I can't even believe that it has already been two years without my mom. I was actually doing ok until I started writing this post and now the tears are flowing. Looking back on my journey, I am not even sure how I made it to this point. Those first few months, actually the first year and a half, were very tough for me. I was filled with so much sadness and then later anger, thankfully the anger has subsided. My life is better now than it was when my mom first died, I do find joy and happiness each day, but there is still a hole in my heart that will never go away. But that is ok, I am learning to live with it. After my mom died I had a very difficult time dealing with my Dad. We never had a very close relationship. As many children do, my relationship with my Dad was through my Mom, so when she died, I had no idea what type of relationship would develop. Thankfully, he did turn to my brother and I for support instead of becoming more of an introvert, which he had been throughout my life. There were definitely some challenging times, I know he didn't understand me at all sometimes, especially when I was so angry that my Mom was gone, but we worked through it together and today I am so thankful I have been given this chance to have a relationship with him. Had my Mom lived, I don't think I would have. Very sad to think of it that way, but I choose to look at the gift I have been given, instead of what was taken away from me. Thanks to all of you, for this journey would have been that much more difficult without you. I don't post often, but lurk a lot and all of you are in my thoughts and prayers. I think I am going to take Monday off. Not sure what I am going to do, maybe go to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, my mom loved flowers. I feel like I live a lot of my days in denial that she is no longer here, I think I should take some time on Monday to think about all the good times I had with her and how she enriched my life. Too hard to do that on a daily basis.... Please keep my family in your prayers and I will do the same for all of you. Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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