Bits and Pieces

[lilyjohn]

I'm not quite sure how to start this. Reading some of the other posts about parting with things special to our loved one is part of it. Still there is more.

When my marriage ended I took very few things from my home. I was moving to California well over two thousand miles. I knew that the little money that I had would have to stretch a very long way. I would virtually be starting over at 58 years old.

A month later I found myself in Washington with Johnny. Most of you who have been around a while know most of my story. Anyway I ended up buying almost all new things, mostly just what I had to have. Johnny helped but he had even less money than I did.

I have struggled for a long time but finally am able to have a few more things and upgrade a few of the things that I was very frugile buying. There lies my problem.

Everything I have was shared with Johnny. I got some better dishes. I took the others to the Salvation Army. I had them in the car when it h it me. Johnny had drank from those cups. My new ones never touched his lips. Then there are clothes that I wore that are now worn out. I don't want to throw them away. Every time I throw something away I feel like I am moving further away from Johnny and the life that we shared. I am losing him again by bits and pieces! The wonderful life of love that we shared is moving furter and furter away from me. I have the memories and many of his things that I wouldn't part with but those things that were ours or that we shared are slowly going and each one leaves a hole in my life.

Do any of you feel this kind of loss?

Something happened yesterday. I found something that I forgot about. It will stay where I found it. It will do no harm and somehow it makes me feel that a part of him is with me in my car, besides his hair I have in my locket). I was looking for something in the glove compartment of our car. At the very bottom I found a disposible razor. Johnny had put it there after we stopped somewhere one time and he needed a shave. He wanted to be prepared. Now it is a symbol of all the things that he left with me. Some that will eventually be gone and many that nothing will ever make me part with if I can help it. Lillian

[RandyW]

Remember you always have the memories and no one can take those from you. I found Debs First consultation wiht surgeon yesterday in old purse of hers. Am starting to donate things except what I want to hang on to.