Guest spunkystuff Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Hi everyone, let me start out by saying I am glad to have found this board! I have read through alot of the posts and now I know the emotions that I'm going through are normal and I'm not alone! My mom was dianosed with lung cancer in Feb 2001. She went in for a rotine x ray and they found a spot on her right lung, which needless to say turned out to be a tumor. I'm not sure what kind of cancer she has, (isnt that terrible? sorry) I know its the slow growing kind. anyway, she went through numerous tests march through august of that year, basically to see if she could have surgey to remove the lung, to see if the left lung was strong enough for her only have one. the doctors, finnally decided to do one more test. she had a biopsy(sp?) they took a sample from her lympnodes in her thoat to detimine if the cancer had spread that far. It turned out that it had spread and there was no chance for surgery. That doctor told my sister and I she had one to 2 years with no chemo. that was in August 2001. She refused to have chemo. she had ovarian cancer back in about 1984 and had gone through chemo and decided against it. I couldnt believe she was just going to give up! In the mean time all this was happening she also developed enphsema(sp?) and went into the hospital in Jan of 2002 and came out on oxygen and prednizone, which she has been on since then ( she went off the prednizone fora while, now she is up to 2 pills a day, just to keep going) Right now she is at her worse ever, she can barley breathe when she gets up, even with all the different inhalers and drugs. She's having pains in her lung, she coughing up blood, I think she is ready to give up. I'm so scared because I dont know what day will be her last. can anyone tell me, I know ovisouly her disease is getting worse, but do you have these symptoms close to the end? Thank you guys so much for lisening, sorry it got so long. I am just looking for some anwsers. One more thing, my mother smoked for 45 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Dear Spunkystuff, I am sorry you have the need for us, but you came to the right place. Also, it doesn't matter to us if your mom smoked or not, as you will find this isn't just a smokers disease! As for how long does your mom have???? God only knows!!!! However, I am concerned to WHY she won't do chemo! They have come out with so many new chemo's and anti-nausea drugs sense she last did her's in 1984. However, now that she has breathing problems due to emphysema, that may be a problem with having chemo now. As for coughing up blood. I have heard of people doing this for months on end before they pass away. My cousin's husband had lung cancer and he coughed up blood for 9 months before he passed away this last October. So, again, it's so hard to say. Everyone is so different in this journey! Your poor mother has some serious problems with the emphysema, along with the lung cancer. Emphysema along can cause many problems as well. (sigh)! I wouldn't try to second guess how long she has, however, I would suggest you spend time and give her lots of TLC during this time. When my mom was dx.d with lung cancer, they gave her 6 weeks to live. Well, low and behold she lived for 3 months and 8 days after being dx.d. I hated the fact that they had said that, because all my family did was count the minutes to when she would die. And it just added so much STRESS onto all of us. And I might add that my mom was just fine up until the last 5 days before she did pass away. I lost 3 family members to lung cancer, and NONE of them were the same in the ending days. So, I would suggest NOT trying to put a date to this, as it will only add to your anxiety. Enjoying the time that is left (LIFE) is so much more important then wondering and worring about when she may pass. Take each day ONE DAY at a TIME, and sometimes you may even have to take it ONE MINUTE at a TIME!! It is SO hard to try and prepare people for the ending stages of our lives, because like I said, no two are alike! Wishing you all the best, and please know you and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers. Warm and Gentle Hugs, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Spunkystuff, welcome and I like your "handle". If you live up to your nickname, you won't give up. Connie has given a terrific testimony and I agree with her that God only knows how long any of us have. I do know that a positive attitude can add to the time. So help your mom have a positive attitude in any way you can. Since you say it is "slow growing", I imagine the type is non-small cell lung cancer. That is what my wife has. We are taking one day at a time, and we are not dwelling on how much time she has left, because we really don't know (nor do the doctors) how long. Best to you and Mom. Keep plugged in to this extended family here -- they are great! Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David P Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Hi there Spunky, and welcome (I think). Sorry to hear your mom is not doing too well. You'll hear many people on this board tell you not to consider how much time the doctor says a cancer patient has - they just don't know - and there are many variables that can change things one way or the other. You have been reading the posts, so you already know about P.P.A. - the Power of Positive Attitude. Second opinions also seem to be big in the advice columns here. I know of a few cases where cancer patients have given up, only to rally back when a new doctor, with new treatments enter the mix. Soooo... DON'T GIVE UP, AND DON'T LET YOUR MOM GIVE UP EITHER !!!!!!!! David P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyB Posted March 22, 2003 Share Posted March 22, 2003 Hey Spunky, I agree w/David. Get a new doctor!!! I asked one of my doctors what kind of chance I had (no one should do that, BTW.) and he said 4%, but at the end of 5 years it wouldn't be 4%. It would be either 100% alive or 100% gone. That's a much better way to look at it. Try to be positive for your mom, but let her talk about how she feels. Sending positive vibes your way. JudyB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrie Posted March 22, 2003 Share Posted March 22, 2003 Dear Spunky - Just a little input here. I was diagnosed last July with NSCLC, and I had been coughing up blood for years - my PCP just told me it was my asthma - so I don't know if that particular symptom is necessarily "towards the end". I had chemo, radiation and surgery after those "coughing up blood" days as well as being on seven types of medication for what they thought was "asthma". There is so much hope and positive news on these posts - I'll be praying for you both! Terrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest spunkystuff Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Thanks everyone for all the postive feedback! I just get so discoraged and can't help but think the worst sometimes. I think the main reason she didnt want the chemo is because she knew it would only "put things off" in her words, not mine. My brother even wanted to sent her to Mexico to a cancer clinic down there but she just wasnt willing. The whole family is upset by her decisions, but we cant change her mind. believe me if I could then I would. Thanks for all he advice. talk to you all soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Dear Spunkystuff, My heartbreaks for you as I imagine what you are going through. To watch a loved one make choices that we don't understand is so difficult. My Mom had a terrible time with chemo and although she is in remission, I often think if it comes back i'm not sure if she would have it again. But I quess when it comes right down to it we can try and try but the person has to fight there own battle. I hope that your mother will find that strength. There is noway to know when someones life will end, only God knows that, nurses and doctors don't no either. Luckily we have medications that can ease any pain and they will have a peaceful transition to the other side. We have to enjoy everday that we have with our loved ones and hope for the best possible outcome. When it comes right down to it no one really knows which day will be there last. My grandmother lived way past anyones expectations, while others are taken from us quickly in car accidents or from heart attackes. I have often thought that at least we have time to work through our feelings and say things to make the most of each day. I often think of things like people who get in car accidents while driving through another state or something. In a coma being flown to some hospital you have never even heard of and waking up not knowing where you are or what has happened. And it has helped to realize that the situation could be worse. In life we will all fight our battles, and we all have our crosses to bear. It is cancer that brings us here and unites us. We all are on our own journey... Praying for you and your mother. Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Ultimately, as hard as it is on the loved ones, the patient has the right to decide what to do and not do. We can only provide the love, the information and our wishes. It is really finally up to them. I know I want it that way for myself unless I am mentally incapacitated. In any case, the name of the deal is to make the most of the time we do have. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 You are so right Don. When it comes to decision making with Bill, I offer my 2 cents but realize that in the whole realm of things he has to talk it over with God and go from there. Spunky, hang in there. We are here for you. Peg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marta1dad Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Those that survive have to have the will to survive, and without chemo this disease will get you sooner or later. Its the later part we are all concerned about, and as the youngest son in a much older family watched many relatives die from this disease over the years. They all had different stories, and my cousin was dying from the same cancer for MANY years, ( it became a family joke to ask if she was still dying) If untreated, it can go to the brain, which will be a very unpleasant thing indeed. Treatment is for more than trying to survive as long as possible. Its to control the manner of death and quality of life. Only God knows the moment and manner. He is jealous in this, and defies our attempts to predict his wish. David wife beth dx nsclcIV w/ bone mets Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Spunky - Hugs - It must be hard to watch mom make decisions that we don't agree with. But ultimately it is the cancer patient's choice. Make the most of every moment...and who knows...things can change, people can change their minds. The only thing constant in this world is change! Love, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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