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Having a bad day?


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Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a

commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He

performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an

E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio station in

Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had

a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at

work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you

realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened

to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit

to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite


So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel-powered

industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the

water out of the sea heats it to a delightful temperature, then pumps

it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air

hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several

times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the

hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole

suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was

going well until all of a sudden, my bum started to itch. So, of

course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few

seconds my bum started to burn! I pulled the hose out from my back,

but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The

hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my


Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't

stick to it. However, the crack of my bum was not as fortunate. When I

scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the

jellyfish into the crack of my bum.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.

His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five

other divers, were all laughing hysterically Needless to say I aborted

the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops

totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to

begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I

was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter

running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it

on my bum as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire

out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my bum was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much

worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your bum . Now

repeat to yourself, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." Now

whenever you have a bad day ask yourself......... is this a JELLYFISH BAD DAY?

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