mamasbabygirl Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Well, mama is very sleepy. She has pretty much been sleeping all weekend. When I wake her up and ask if she is hungry, she nods yes and then when I get it in there to feed her, she falls asleep with her mouth open. I asked SF to stop giving her the Ativan last night, but he said the nurse told him to. I replied that was when she was up for 3 days straight. Well, we had the conversation again tonight and he is not agreeing, so I plan on bringing it upstairs to my bedroom for the night. Isn't this ridiculous? He likes her like this as she is no problem to care for. I plan on talking to the social worker and nurse about this crap tomorrow. I am so disgusted with him and again so worried about my mom. I was going to go back to work tomorrow, but now I don't know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie22 Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 I agree Lori it is so irratating and frusterating. Atavin is what made my mom so out of it. We had a really hard time waking her, and this is when she was suppose to be coming home. They claim they use it for anxiety but it sure made me anxious. Am still praying you and your family. Best of luck Prayers and Hugs Connie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 I am profoundly sad, almost to the first point ever where I am too sad to care for her. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, but tonight I made her toast and flavored coffee and tried to feed it to her, but she is so out of it, I almost lost it in front of her. I know they say it is OK to cry with the person, but I don't want her to get upset too. Thank God her BF Hazel just came in, miraculously like an angel and took over feeding mom. I am so sad to see her like this. All she can do is stare at me. She moves her lips as if to speak, but can't muster up the energy. I hate lung cancer. I don't want to lose my mama. I don't have any other words, just a flood of tears and a heavy broken heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Lori, I'm so sorry. I hate lung cancer, too. I'm praying for you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 I hate it too but I can send Carolina Sky Prayers for everyone tonite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 I am so sorry you have to go through this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilliBr1 Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terriep Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 This sure s@#ks big time. Hugs and prayers..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Oh Lori, I pray that God wraps his arms around you and blesses you and your mama with peace, love, guidance, and renewed strength. Take care of yourself, and please, let us be your outlet here; we want to help. God bless, Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Botley Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Dear Lori, Just know that she (Your Mama) knows what a kind good caring soul you truly are! SF is ill mannered and lacks the caring, compassion, wisdom, and kindness that makes you who you are -- the best Advocate Your Mother Could Have! You can and will get through this we know it isn't easy but you are far stronger than you had ever thought and your Mom needs you forever in her corner! Do the best you can to keep it together -- whatever it takes even if you need a break call her friends or just get out in the sunlight for a fresh look at things! You can do this with all the grace and dignity you have shown thorughout this entire journey. Stay strong and don't be bullied. God Bless you, your family, and your Mom! Take Good Care, Botley & Mother Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyogirl Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 I'm so sorry that you are having to go through not only your mama going through LC, but with a SF who is obviously not helping the situation. Maybe all of this is beyond his coping abilities and he just can't function in the way that your mama needs. Whatever the reason, it is one more worry on your shoulders. Stay strong, and lean on whomever you can. Big Hugs, Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 (((Lori))), My heart is breaking with you. I'm so sorry . Wish there were some magic words I could say to help. Just know my prayers are coming your way. Love, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Ann Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Lori, I sent you a PM. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Lori My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jendew Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Lori, We went through the same thing with my father...the sleeping and struggles with eating. It's a hard road to travel. I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I hope you rested well last night and that today brings you a new strength that you never knew you had. ((hugs)) Jenny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kreed70 Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 (((Lori))) I am so, so sorry for all of this. You are amazing. I hope that I have half of your strength... Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mskim Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 (((((Lori))))) Continued prayers, Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 (((((Lori))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thrashej Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Wow, I so much know how you feel. We went thru the same thing with my Dad. I even posted about "hospice doping my Dad". He was doing the same things your mom is now doing.....even falling asleep STANDING UP!! That said, I will say now that in some ways I am glad they did. It was the Ativan + Oxycontin combo that really did it. Made him a zombie. But if we hadn't he would have been a dying, uncomfortable, anxious mess. Sometimes it is actually better to keep them "out of it". We were glad it went the way it did considering how quickly he died after that. We thought he had all this time left and were angry that they were doping him up but he ended up only having about two weeks from that point. If you do decrease the meds, you run the risk of your Mom having more anxiety and uncontrolled pain. Just a different perspective. I am so sorry you are going through this. It is a horrible thing to watch. I wish you strength! You are doing right by your Mom and are a wonderful daughter! Janice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Q Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Lori, I'm so sorry. Like my mom said in her final days, "This is a hell of a way to die." If she doesn't have anxiety, don't give her the Ativan. Take it with you if you have to go to work and if you don't trust SF to not search for it. Many hugs to you and Rocky! ~Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Char81062 Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Lori, I've read your posts and the love you feel for your Mom comes through loud and clear. I feel sad for you and would just like to say you are one beautiful person. With all you have been through I don't know how you're getting by but know that good thoughts and prayers are coming your way for you and your entire family. -Char Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma's kid Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Praying, Lori..gentle hugs Libby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 Thanks guys. The nurse came by this morning. Mom's vitals are OK, but she did not arouse even with the nurse moving her arm and stuff. As of this evening, mom is back on the liquid decadron (a shot) and she is back awake. She is just lying here next to me with her eyes open. She can't speak. We gave each other 16 kisses and then I said I love you. She just mouthed it back and I told her I know and it was OK. Maybe she is waking back up. Maybe not. She shakes her head no when I ask if she has pain. The hospice nurse did agree wholeheartedly with me that mom does not need the ativan if she is not anxious. SF was acting pissy as usual. God I love her and wish this was not happening. I do take comfort that she is home and that's all I can do-focus on the positives and let SF stop robbing me of that. Thanks for being here, all of you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda661 Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Lori: I'm so glad that your mom isn't having pain and that she can still communicate with you, even if it's nonverbal. Remember, you have phone access to hospice 24/7 and if at any time you are concerned about anything to give or not give your mom (like the Ativan issue you just went through with SF) CALL THEM for what to do (although the taking the Ativan upstairs was neat ). You don't have to wait for regular hospice nurse visits to ease your mind and wrestle with SF opinion in the meantime. I hear 'ya on the focusing on mom and the positives and stopping SF from robbing your attention. You just have to do that sometimes -- all your energy needs to be with your mom. Many cyber hugs, Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tatlyn Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 (((Lori))). It sounds as though things are calmer this evening, I'm glad. You just keep going with your instincts on what's best for your Mom because it always comes from love with you and with that, you won't go wrong. Let SF's words go in one ear and out the other. I tossed my Dad's Lorazepam (Ativan) down the toilet several weeks ago. It was originally prescribed to help him sleep but what it did instead was dope him up so throughly that he couldn't get out of bed. It also had the effect with him, for some reason, that it magnified his pain and made him depressed - go figure. Peace and Love, Lynda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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