Missing my Dad..Does it ever get easier??

[robynmark]

Its been over 2 months nows and I miss him even more now than I did before. He was my best friend and I can't imagine not being able to call him everyday or ask for help on the computer. My daughter started kindergarten last week and I know he thought he'd be alive to see her get on the bus for the first time. She adored him and he her. I wrote awhile ago that she didn't talk about his death too much but lately she talks about him all the time. Little things she say just sets me off in tears.

We put together a scrapbook on his life this weekend and she loved doing it. I have yet to go to the cemetary because I can't bear to see him buried and no headstone yet (we are jewish so that won't be on until next year).

Will it get easier? Will I be able to move on and not cry when I think about him?

Robyn

[Donna]

Hello Robyn,

I personally don't think it gets any easier...My brother Mark died 10 months ago and every day I cry and think of his wonderful and lovong ways..I think it becomes more tolerable, and is only because we have no choice..My dad died 23 years ago and we were like two peas in a pod..I miss him so very much, my heart still aches..What you are feeling is normal, especially when you are so close to a loved one..Time never heals the hole in our hearts..You are in my prayers..

Donna

[RandyW]

Robyn, the pain gets duller but never goes away. It will always be there every day. I have gone every sunday for 9 months to lay flowers for Deb. I know there are women who would love to get a Bouquet every week (Little Humour OK) I go outside at night every night and say good nnite when I say my prayers for everybody here. It takes Time But time will help. NOT HEAL Help.

[cmrsm]

I know what you are going through. I lost my father over three months ago and the pain changes. I used to cry all day every day, now i just cry a little every day and there are days, like yesterday where i cryed and have not stopped. I went to a wedding yesterday and saw the bride walk down the isle with her mother and father. I just celebrated my 9th wedding aniversary. My father and mother walked me down the isle and just remembering that made me start crying that i had to leave the church.

I believe and hope that the pain will get easier. It also helps my mother and I that I have small children which need our attention as does yours.

God Bless and keep strong for your family and your precious daughter.

[jendew]

It is so very hard, isn't it? My dad died four weeks ago tomorrow. I am still in the place of "is this real?" even though the past few days have been my hardest yet. I think it's finally sinking in that he's no longer here.

[cindy0519]

((((Robyn))))

No words of wisdom for you... just lots of understanding and wishes for comfort coming your way. Know that you are not alone - after almost 3 months I can only say that I am at a point where I believe that the pain doesn't go away ever - we just learn to somehow live with it and incorporate it into everyday life.

I understand 110% and cry with you. Wishing you peace!

Cindy

[jdjenkins]

Robyn,

My Dad passed away eight months ago and somedays I still can't believe he is gone. The heartache was much worst than I ever thought it would be. After eight months I still think of him everyday, but I don't cry as much as I used to. Certain things and special days set me off. I have found that staying busy has helped me quite a bit. I also find comfort in knowing that Dad is watching over us, and we will be together again someday. Stay strong your pain will ease with time.

Denise

[cindi o'h]

At first, the physical PAIN of losing a love hurt so badly that I couldn't not pay attention to it. If my brain wasn't mourning my love, then my body surely was.

Now, I think my brain has become accustomed to the physical pain. Now my heart aches not everytime I think about my love. Only sometimes. Sometimes remembering their antics make me bust out in either laughter or tears or a mixture of both one after the other.

I am grateful for the memories and the emotions that make us human.

One day at a time.

Cindi o'h

[hollyanne]

Robyn -

It does get easier...it never goes way. I thought it was so ridiculous when people said the only thing that helps is "time" -- but now I have to agree. Eight months ago I lost my best friend in the world...I miss her every single day, but I also know that she would want me to live life to its fullest -- which I am trying to do...although I am not very good at it yet. you WILL get through each day, some days more easily than others. Time, Robyn, it takes time.

Love,

Holly

[KatieB]

It does get better, I think, because we get more "used" to it. There's not another choice really.

Time does help, but the loss, while we have to accept it, never goes away- that loss becomes a part of us forever. Time helps us heal physically, and it teaches us to live again- a moment, a minute, an hour, a day, a month, then a year.....

I'm sorry for your loss. I understand. We are here for you.

[jduenges]

Dear Robyn,

I lost my Dad one year ago. I will always miss my Dad and I get choked up every time I think of him and I miss him more now than ever.

I think you will always miss your Dad and feel that emptiness but time does help because you get use to a "new normal".

Take Care,

Jackie

[aurora06]

Friends who also had losses told me it gets a little better with time. I knew from the start that that wasn't true. I told one of them that the intense feelings may become less so, but then the dull ache sets in. They agreed. They had been trying to make me feel better and hopeful. But I'm afraid, even after a little over a year that dull ache will never go away. There are still times now when I feel numb. Reading the posts here has helped as well as my own belief that there is something better to come. I agree with some of the other posts that you continue on despite the dull ache. We will be with those we have lost when we are meant to be.