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4 months today since i lost my father


cmrsm

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It is 4 months today and it seems to get a bit harder. I went to a wedding mass on Sunday and saw the bride walk down the isle with her parents and I started to cry, remembering my parents walking me down the isle and not being able to see my father. My 3 year old tells me almost every day that she misses her poppi (that's what she called my father). When my father was first diagnosed he asked for 10 years, just so that my children would get to know him and truly remember who he was. He got 3 1/2 years. I was not nor still am ready to be without my father. I was Daddy's little girl and now i cannot be that little girl any longer. Life's so unfair. You have so many mean and hurtful people living, while the good are taken at a young age (my father was only 62). Why does life have to be so unfair? Why does my 56 year old mother have to be alone? What is the purpose behind it all. Why does love have to hurt soooooooo much?

Thanks for letting me vent and cry. Cannot really talk to my mother about any of this she's struggling with her own pain and lonliness.

God bless you all and this site.

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I feel your pain, sadness and frustration and understand what your are feeling.

I don't have any answers, really...

It helps a little to believe that my dad is in a better place and is not suffering anymore.

Maybe *our* dads have become friends and spend time talking and smiling about their grandkids..I hope so, anyway.

Gentle hugs to you and I am glad you shared how you are feeling.

Love, Libby

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I am sorry jorja. This is a special day for you and even though your father may not be there with you physically he will be there with you in your heart, soul and mind. So as you walk down the isle remember if it wasn't for your father (and mother) you would not be able to be at this point in your life and remember he is with you on this and every day.

Congratulations.

Love

Cathy

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Cathy :(

So sorry to hear about what you are going through. On October 4th, it will be one year since I lost my dad and I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, but it sure doesn't. I hate that my son will be graduating from high school next year and my dad won't be there. I hate that my daughter still cries at night because she misses him so much and there is nothing I can do to comfort her. My dad was young too - only 67 and I have so often felt the way you do about the unfairness of it all. Good grief, your dad probably didn't even get to retire, did he? Life can be so cruel sometimes and I guess the only thing I can try to tell you to make you feel better is that I understand. Plus, remember that a part of your dad is in you and your children. My son has a stubborn streak and gets this look on his face that reminds me so much of my dad. Our dads are never really gone - they might not be here with us physically but their spirit lives on. This disease ravaged my dad physically and because of that, I am grateful that he found peace from the disease. Now I guess it is up to us to find peace without our wonderful fathers.

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