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Just plain tired......rambling.....


DebsSky

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Hey Everyone:

I am really missing my Mom tonight, like all nights really. I never thought that I could miss someone so much. People always tell me that it will get better with time, but I beg to differ, it is getting worse. There is not a day that goes by where I do not cry for her.

We had a very special bond and I am having extreme tough times dealing with her loss. After my divorce, she kinda took me by the hand and pulled me through and has never left until now. There is so much I wanted to say to her before she left, but never got the chance. Even just to hug her for awhile, I would relish that.

My days are filled with running around like a chicken with my head cut off just to stay busy with anything so that the pain won't catch up to me, but when it does, like now, boy does it engulf me and sting harshly.

I am tired physically and emotionally, so much so that I feel like I could just crumble. I called my Grandma today to see how she was doing and she is handling it far better than I am, as are my two brothers.

My Mother was the epitemy of beauty, from the inside out. Truly a beautiful soul, she had a heart of gold and many people miss her. I just can't seem to come to grips with it yet.

Anyway, sorry for rambling and thanks for listening,

Deb :(:cry:

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Val is right. Time does help ease the pain- but what I think is that we simply learn to live with it because we have no other choice.

Soon life will engulf us, your career or your children or simple chores that must be done, turn one day into a month, into six months, into a year...

Without choosing to, you learn to live a life without the one you lost...

It's so hard. I kept busy (and still DO!) because it does help.

I wish I could say something to make it better, but there isn't anything...

Your loss is so recent. Give yourself the time you need to grieve.

I pray that one day soon the memories of your beautiful mom and the love she had for you will comfort you.

Hugs,

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Deb-It has been 3 1/2 months for me, since I lost my mother. She too was my best friend not a day went by without us talking, for at least the last 20 years. I still cry everyday, I miss her soooo much. I think if I allow myself to grieve for her, when I need to, it helps with the healing process. I started keeping a journal, which I didn't think would help, but it does. I say exactly how I feel in there and noone responds with "it will get easier". I hated those words when Mom died. My crying episodes don't seem to last as long, it doesn't mean I miss her less, I can now talk it out. I remember when she passed for the first 2 months or so, I just wanted to be with her. My husband is a workaholic, so he is never home, plus he doesn't know how to deal with this, so I had to find my own way to grieve. I hate it when my friends say things like "I know what you are going through". How can they know unless they have lost their mother and best friend. This truely does suck, and I hope you too can find your own way to grieve.

Hugs and Prayers

Connie

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I know the feeling but it will get better with time. This is still so new to you and you just expect to get that call from her. I have been there. It has been about a year and a half for me.

I am at a point now where it does hurt of having her to hug or talk too, but I don't think about it as much. I think about her everyday at somepoint, but I can cope now, when there was a time I thought I couldn't.

We are always here for you and you can vent and ramble anytime. Don't ever apologize for that.

Peace be with you.

Maryanne

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