Jump to content

Yesterday was pretty bad


KatieB

Recommended Posts

Yesterday Dad was in alot of pain. Remember I mentioned the headaches he's been having every morning? THen the Dr. ordered an MRI--and it showed nothing (yes, there was a brain! :D ) Well, yesterday the pain was almost unbearable. Dad's been pretty lucky. With his dx. there was no pain. Just lost his voice one day and two Dr. visits later we find out about the lung cancer...we'll yesterday his head hurt so badly he was curled up on the sofa in a ball holding his head with both hands, all day. His face was bright red and he had low grade fever. He was even nauseas and still doesn't eat anything.

Well I called his Onc. and spoke with a nurse, then another nurse who said she'd call back (Never did) then another nurse called after THREE hours.....Apparently the Onc. was at the hosp. and wasn't even in the office so all this is being relayed third-person. What they finally told me to do was give dad MORE pain pills, and Oh yea, if he's still drinking fluid thats good.... So I ask, THAT'S IT? This is NOT cancer related...there is SOMETHING wrong. He must have a sinus INFECTION or the FLU or Pneumonia or SOMTHING....Well, there really isn't anything Dr. Anderson feels he can do if he see's him in the office, just tell your dad it's OK to take more pain meds and to remember to keep hydrated.

I said, "so you guys don't actually FIX anything, right? Just knock 'em unconscious with narcotics and hope for the best?"

Well, no..eh..we do...but eh..well...maybe we can get him some antibiotics...well...um...Dr. Anderson won't be back in his office until the 31st, that would be the soonest he could be seen...

BOOM :!: I sent over an imaginary scud missle with seeking radar that pinpointed the exact location of Dr. Anderson and blew him to smithereens. 8)

Oh I ranted and raved about it to my dad. Then told him the importance of seeking out another doctor...one who CARES about their patients survival...yadda yadda yah.... I think dad heard me. We've decided to give this Doc. one more try with the second chemo while looking into second opinions, etc...

I ended up calling dads MD who he hasn't seen since dx. He was a bit of a help, and dad's head doesn't hurt as badly (possibly sinus), but he still isn't eating well and hasn't gotten up off the sofa.

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Sometimes doctors need a reality check...I want to find a doctor who has just lost someone they love to lung cancer, who knows how I feel, who really wants to make a difference and cares about patients enough to see them survive...

Too much to ask for :?:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Katie,

I'm sorry to hear that the doctor wasn't there to give you the kind of care you had hoped for! I believe that all cancer patients concerns should be taken seriously and they should be treated with extra special care! It sure does make you angry to see someone that you love not being treated that way.

Thinking of you! And praying for your Dad.

Laurie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Katie,

Sorry to hear your dad is having such a hard time of it. We have found sometimes it is hard to know what to do......Call family doc, call the onc, which onc...radiation or chemo?? Don't forget you can always go to the emergency ward if you are really concerned. We have had to do that twice so far.

Hope your dad is feeling better soon,

Faylene

Link to comment
Share on other sites

katie,

sweetie, i am feeling for you. you sound so frustrated. it is so hard to watch from the sidelines when all your efforts seem AT THE MOMENT futile. i think going to his general physician was a great idea. my dad always used to see his general md. feeling you are being looked after is so important. i do so hope that your dad is finding relief and that you do look into getting another a different doctor. whew. let's take a deep breath. i am here for you. we will get your dad the doctor he deserves. until we get that on the move next week, pain meds for your dad. you don't want him to suffer. stiff upper lip kid. and let's start finding a second opinion. you need it, he needs it, and we will all feel better.

thinking of you,

mirrell

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Katie,

I can imagine your frustration level. But you be careful girlfriend or your blood pressure is going to be off the charts and your dad needs you.

I agree, when not getting QUICK responses from the cancer docs, go to your general practioner. Not every symtom is cancer (thank God). Let the GP help.

Hope your Dad is feeling better today.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You go Katie.

Way to stay on top of things. We lucked out because my mom's new oncologist revealed to us that his mom is a 10-year breast cancer survivor. That's why he's so compassionate and caring about his patients. People I've contacted who were former patients of Block Center tell me about how great he is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Katie

I was so sorry to hear about how badly your Dad is feeling. I'm sure there are better days ahead! Keep on plugging away at the second option thing - one thing I have learned from all of this is that there ARE real, caring, knowledgeable docs out there. My PCP was horrible. My asthma specialist equally as bad - they treated me horribly!!! The only thing was, I didn't know how bad till I found my new ones!

Best of luck and loads of prayers for you both. You'll take a deep breath and forge ahead - and we'll all be there right behind you!!

Terrie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Katie - hope today finds your father feeling better. You're right about until one of the doctor's has a loved one in the same condition, they have no clue to how we "really" feel.... Hope the scud missle found Dr. Anderson - a bull's eye!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You bring up a good point about the family doctor. I think we often get so involved in going to the oncologist that we forget the family doc can handle headaches, etc. My husband also had a bout with headaches and all of a sudden it hit me, to quit waiting on the onc. and just call the family doctor. We got right in, got a perscription, and he ordered a CT scan

So remember, you don't need to depend on the oncologist for everything. We also left the first guy we saw because he was a jerk (and he looked just like Captain Kangaroo so I had a hard time taking him serious anyway). I told our family doctor about my feelings towards this guy so he wouldn't refer patients to him anymore (he also agreed the guy looked like Captain Kangaroo).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ry, LOL

Thanks to you all for your sweet replies! I did have a mental breakdown yesterday!!! :!: (Until someone helps me out, I guess I'm allowed!) I have 5 brothers and sisters and 3 live here in TX. I'm the only one here everyday, worried and pro-active about dad's care. Must be nice to "go on" with life, while dad (mom, me -Rick & my 5yr. old) is going through this horrible mess. (Notice a hint of resentment there?)

I really wouldn't have it any other way. I'm the youngest, the closest in distance and "daddy's girl", and I treasure our times together.

You are all right. Dad did feel better today! Didn't get off the sofa except to have his coffee and read his paper this morning, but he ate well right there on the sofa off the coffee table. We had a good chat and maybe he & mom will come over to my house tomorrow for lunch and to hang out on my sofa for a while :lol: .

I hope the rode ahead for us is long and less bumpy as has been this past week. My prayers are with you all always.

Love to you all for your FANTASTIC support. You are my extended family.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Katie,

We have to take each battle as they come and enjoy each small victory. I remember when you told me that your father went to Walmart with you and that made you so happy. :D It is great to have those moments of success. I'm not sure if I told you this or Debraoo but i live the farthest away but am the most active with my Mothers care clear across the country and I am the youngest too. I took something like 8 weeks off from work and flew across the country on 5 seperate occasion between oct and Jan. While others who lived 5 minutes or 20 minutes away couldn't take a day off from work. Or had no interest in "advocating" and seemed afraid to ask. I also couldn't understand why someone 5 minutes away wouldn't make an extra amount of the nights meal and instinctivly now it would help out and send it over. My Mom has always taught me that no one will ever live up to my expectations as there is no one like Me and to expect them to be is pointless. :roll: I also took care of my grandmother for a very long time. For some it just comes natural, while others can't handle that role. I, like you, can't be another way. I'm going to try and control the situation and help out. You are not alone. I think that all who come to these boards are that way. Take each small victory and enjoy it. God Bless you and your father.

Warm Wishes,

Love Laurie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Katie, I am sorry that I didn't see your post sooner. I am also sorry that your dad is feeling so badly, and that you have to be the one to bear the brunt of caring for him and seeing that he is getting the best medical attention possible. I can't believe that the doctors were guessing that your dad may have a sinus infection and not only not see him, but not perscribe some type of antibiotic. Lung cancer is serious enough, but a sinus infection can be serious, too, not to mention exteremly painful!!

I know what you mean about thinking of calling the oncologist first for everything, we tend to have that same reaction when it comes to my dad. I think its a pretty natural reaction, as it is so hard to know if something is either caused by the cancer or the treatment itself. Dad being on Iressa, and the fact that it is still a clinial trial medication, makes it so difficult to try to figure out if something "unusual" he is feeling is due to that-or just a common cold...you know how it is.

I have to say that I am very fortunate that my sister and I have been looking out for my dad together, but as I understand it, that is pretty rare. It seems to be that it is usually one sibling that bears the brunt of being the "solid" one. The one that does all the research, the one that ensures that everything that can be done is being done, etc.. And, that my friend, appears to be you in your case. And I see nothing wrong with getting aggrivated at the lack of help that you get. I find that when I'm frustrated a nice sarcastic remark to the appropriate party always makes me feel better :lol::P .

I know that you love your dad, and if thats what it takes, you'll do what it takes. I wish there were some way I could lend a hand and ease things up for you. I hope that just knowing that we're all here for you helps. Please try to take care of you, too. I'm glad that your dad was feeling a bit better today. :) That is definately a good sign. Keep us posted, and I just want to thank you for always being there for me, too. Take care, sister, :wink: Deb

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Katie,

I am so sorry your Dad's been having such bad headaches!!! That is just awful.:(

And those dumb doctors!!!!!!!! Arghhhh!!!!!!!! The oncs can make me so mad sometimes. You are so right, sometimes I just don't think they understand how bad it can be.

Glad to hear he's feeling a bit better, I hope he continues!!!

Hang in there sweetie!!

Big hugs to you!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.