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mil just diagnosed - stage iv lung cancer, metastisized.

Guest bellard

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just found out a week ago, and already we're exhausted, emotionally & physically. drs are saying palliative & hospice care only. dh & i both have f/t jobs and 2 kids under 2. mil lives next door, so that's convenient, but we have no idea how long this process (illness & death) will be, what the process is, and how we need to prepare. paperwork & legal items are a nightmare, trying to straighten it all out quickly. dh is an only child, so this falls on him (and us). anyone btdt, and can tell us what to expect, and how to prepare? thank you in advance.

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I know this will sound cliche, but it really is important to try and take things one day at a time. We've all been in your shoes, trying to prepare for everything at once, and it is exhausting and overwhelming.

Take care of yourselves in this process as well---you won't be able to help MIL if you crash and burn yourself. My mom has outlived what the drs gave us as her projection. I know every case is different, but don't give up.

Keep us posted, and I'll be praying for you guys!

:) Kelly

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i really appreciate your help. this is so overwhelming and scary - grief about the diagnosis, fear about what will happen, and worry about the day-to-day care. unfortunately, given the type, progression and location(s) of the cancer, the drs have not offered up any treatments. we feel very good about the drs (ny-presb). the cancer is (as i understand it) mixed small cell & non-small cell - called small cell/large cell - very agressive, doesn't respond to radiation etc.

we are bogged down trying to figure out how we're going to handle caring for her - what the visiting nurse service will provide, what we can do, and whether we can get someone to help. very scary. any advice on coverage would be great. also, my husband is a worrier to start, so he is already anticipating everything and getting far ahead of where she actually is with her illness - and exhausting himself in the process. any advice on how to help support him would be great too.

i feel very fortunate to have found this resource, thank you.

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OK, now wait. I just responded to you, I think, in another forum. Usually with SCLC they don't stage it that way...instead you usually see limited or advanced SCLC. So...I guess what I am trying to tell you, again, is to be sure to get that second opinion.



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My husband was diagnosed with NSCLC in May. I remember all too cleary all of the questions, emotional turmoil, etc. We still live an up and down existence. I can say for sure, take each day, sometimes, hour, as it comes. It has been very hard for me to not plan anything, becasue each day brings something unexpected, but I am learning to cherish the times. We have grown much closer even after 32 years of marriage.

I wouldn't give up, but check into some other choices. there are some other therapies available that could make things easier. I'm new to this forum, so I don't know whether it is acceptable to name places.

Don't lose hope, but do talkabout the tough things now. I pray that God will grant you wisdom and peace inthis very difficult journey.

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