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Dad agreed to Hospice


knw55

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My step-mom called today. Hospice is now part of the picture. Dad agreed to bring them in finally. He hasn't been able to sleep in 48 hours, they have raised the dosage on this pain medicine. He hasn''t been able to keep any solids or liquids down. Hospice is suppose to be getting him a different nausea medication. They wanted to put him in the hospital for a couple of days, they said his body needed to be regulated but he refused. I am glad dad has finally allowed Hospice to come in but at the same time I am scared that it means he's going to be gone soon. My dad the strongest man I've ever known has let Hospice into his house to help him, that scares me so much. I don't want this all to happen. I am trying to accept it as each day goes by but it is so hard. I truly thank God that I found all of you. Being here helps me so much. Thankyou all from the bottom of my heart--Karen

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Oh boy - I feel the raw emotion of every word of your post as I could have written 99.9% of it myself less than 4 months ago. When my Dad finally agreed to Hospice care (he too was vomitting and unable to eat/drink) he was admitted to a hospice in patient facility to be "stablized" - hoping to come home after a few days. Hospice gave him a cream of several anitnaseau meds mixed together that was applied to the inside of his wrist that was VERY effective!

It is incredibly hard to face the fact that our fathers who our whole lifes have seemed so "unsinkable" are bought by LC to being dependant on someone else for even the simplest of daily activities. Just heartbreaking!!! Even harder to face head on the reality that someone that we love so much is facing limited days...just hurts so damn much that it seems impossible to even let yourself think about it, even for a moment.

During Dad's first days in hospice I was full of fear (of the known, of the unknown and the reality that death was approaching, much sadness and hidden tears. I silently bargined with God even while knowing that His will was being done. As Dad began to become more stable a sense of peace and acceptance somehow took over and we had some amazing days..just truly taking in and savoring every moment we had together, feeling all the emotions and just loving each other as if there were no tomorrow (for silently we all knew our tommorows together were limted).

I know how hard this point of the journey is.... I am so sorry that you are finding yourself at this point. I wish your family peace and pray that hospice is as much a blessing for your Dad as it was for mine!

(((HUGS)))

Cindy

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Hospice has been a blessing for many and a curse to some here, but all Hospices are different. Sadly I can offer nothing here except for an Ear to listen with, and a Dry Broad shoulder to cry on when you need one. My wifes journey ended suddenly in a hospital room at 3 am 8 months ago. I can pray and listen to anything you have to say though. Sending prayers from under the Carolina Blue skies.

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Oh Karen,

I feel the pain in your words....I know what's it's like to lose a parent to LC...but your dad is still here. Focus on that right now- one moment at a time.

What's important is getting him comfortable and pain free and his nausea under control. He will feel so much better when that happens. Then he and you and your family can spend every minute just loving each other.

We continue to be here for you...my prayers continue for your family.

Hugs,

K

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I am so sorry. When a family member enters hospice care it makes everything "real". One thing hospice did very well for my father was pain management....and nausea. They deliver the meds right to your door. When you are facing terminal, chronic pain, that is priceless. Pain management should be #1.

I am sorry you are losing your father. It was hard to watch my Dad...who always joked and said he would die before he would wear "briefs", become incontinent in the end. Some part of me was thankful he wasn't 100% mentally there in the end due to his brain mets. But who knows how much they really know. It is hard to even think about. Try to stay strong. When my father was in hospice and I had to watch his condition deteriorate everyday it was the most helpless, powerless, I have ever felt in my life. Cancer is running the show. I am so angry about that. There will be days, towards the end, that you will feel like you just can't see the devastation anymore. It is very surreal, actually. You need to be strong for your Dad. He needs you now more than ever. I will be thinking of and praying for you and your father.

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