jendew Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I know I was there when he died. I was holding his hand and stroking his arm. I saw him take his last breath. I was with him when his heart stopped beating. However, I don't think it has hit me until now (1 and a half months later) that he'll never be coming back. I dream about him often, but I ask him to come to me in dreams. I've also asked the Lord to help me remember them, which He has. In most of the dreams Daddy doesn't speak, he's just there. I see him and he's a part of things, but he just looks at me and smiles. It's almost like him just assuring me that he's still there for me. I have cried more this past couple of weeks than I did in the first few weeks. I guess reality is just now setting in. I know he's in a better place. I know he's not hurting anymore, but I just miss my Daddy so darn much. I just love him so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindy0519 Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 (((JEN)))) I know exactly what you are saying. My Dad's death hit me hard at about a month too - just left me a sobbing mess for a couple days. I have no words of great wisdom or magic wands but wanted to say ...I understand...I too feel this pain...I too cry and at times for apparently no physical reason (other than simply my subconsious acknowledging that my Dad is no longer on this earth). Wishing you gentle, peaceful days ahead! Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NancyT Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Oh Jen, I also understand....it's been 5 months now and there are days I can hardly stand the loss. Something will just hit me and suddenly the reality that my Dad is not coming back is overwhelming. I wish I could help and had some words of wisdom... NancyT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Jen... For me it is JUST starting to hit home that Mom is never coming back.... I had moments of it before--days even, but then my brain would go back into coping mode or denial mode and yeah. It is so hard... I know you loved your Daddy so very, very much. And it just hurts. And nothing helps the hurt. I'm sorry, Jen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I lost a wife not a parent but I can relate to what you are saying. Take some comfort in that your Father will always be watching from right over your head. I always feel as if I just look up, There is Deb watckhing over me. I can talk to her anytime. I do not get an answer but some comfort in that she is watching over me and protecting me from harm. The pain gets duller but never goes away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 ((((Jen))) I know. I care. I wish things could be different for all of us, but it isn't and it hurts. Cyberhugs to ya girl. PM me if you want... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmrsm Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 Jen I know exactly how you feel. It is 4 months for me since i lost my father and some times i still waite for him to walk through the door. I feel exactly like you do. You are so lucky to see you father in your dreams. They say that if you see the deceased person in your dreams that that person truly loved you. At least we can come here and have others understand what we are going through and just vent about anger and the pain. god bless us all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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