Nutbar Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 I feel like I can barely breath. My mom is dying in the hospital where she has been for the last 3 and a half months. I go there everyday and I am emotionally and physically exhausted. My dog who was like my child and my best friend all rolled into one, died a few weeks ago of cancer. I have been having such a difficult time dealing with all of this and now... My boyfriend who I loved dearly moved about 4 hours away 3 months ago. We decided we didn't want to end the relationship and we would keep seeing each other on weekends and when we could. Well obviously we haven't seen a great deal of each other because I have not been able to get away from the hospital and he has been fairly busy with a new job and travelling for that. Yesterday he dumped me. After I told him just two days ago that I felt so down I could barely move. He says I'm better off because he can't give me the support I need right now. Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night right? Now...how do I go on from this? I mean how much is one person supposed to be able to deal with? There is just too much loss in my life and I feel like I have nothing left. No reason to keep going. Please can anyone help me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 My prayers go out to you for strength and stability. I do not know what to say about help. My first thought though is to consult a member of your clergy if possible. I hear a lot of fear and desperation here and the best advice I personally can offer is to talk with a member of your Clergy. You will get more responses but this is just mine off the toop of my head. ALso, a thought is, could there be a local support group maybe? Just my thoughts. But I send prayers for strength. Am not sure if writing helps or not. You need a release though. Do not keep all this bottled up inside, by any means. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Yes, I think counseling is in order. It has helped me many times in the past, not immediately, but eventually for pure fact that I was TRYING to take care of myself. Hang in there-You are doing all you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beat it Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 SEEKING COUNCIL OR A LEADER IN CLERGY IS VITAL!!! You have made the first step by expressing your feelings and that is so healthy. Talking it thru can make such a difference. Your mom would be so proud of you for seeking comfort and not bottleing it up inside. Find something you can place your faith in and then lean on that. Dont stop posting, keep your feelings flowing even if in writing here. You have what it takes never forget that!!! Beat it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TamHol Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 I spent my teenage years feeling the same way you do now ........ I can honestly say you'll find your way. I twirled in circles with Alcoholic parents, Manic depressive father in and out of Phyc wards and the worst choice of boyfriends known to man kind. It will all take time for you to find your way back to some peace and quiet. And let me tell you, it will be well worth the wait!!!!! Just deal with what you can ... when you can and nothing more. It's easier said than done ......... I know! But what you can throw away and doesn't deserve/need your attention or energy .... get rid of it. If it does that for you (your b-friend) take the offer handed to you. There is more time after all of this to go back later, or maybe that is his best contribution to your problems right now. I hope you find your peace and quiet ... or at least a way to control it, counciling will help. But knowing and working within your limits will help just as much. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trish2418 Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 My heart goes out to you -- you've got so much on your plate right now. My first thought is to contact the hospital social worker for ideas about support groups, etc. That's what they're there for, to assist families in times of crisis. Praying that you find the strength within you to get through this. You and mom are in my prayers. Trish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 The Hospital should have clergy on call. Ask the nurse to contact him/her. If you feel as though you are at the end of your rope, tell him/her that. Talk it out as a start. Also, have you called hospice? I know your mom is in the hospital, but you can still call them and get them involved. They will both assist your mom in being comfortable and assist the family (you) as well. I never got the chance to get hospice involved, but I understood that that is what they do. I have just prayed that you find the strength to go on and that your mom finds peace and comfort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutbar Posted October 12, 2006 Author Share Posted October 12, 2006 Thank you so much everyone for your words of kindness. You have no idea how much they mean to me at a time when I feel so alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Hi Nutbar Please keep posting and let us know how you are, what you are going through, etc. We are here for you, we care and we will continue to offer advice and support. You have gotten some very good advice here about the counseling issue and I hope that is something you can and will take advantage of. This disease is so awful, and it truly does not just affect the patient, it dominates everyone involved. Keep us posted, let us know what we can do and know you and your Mom are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 I am so sorry about what you are going through. Calling in hospice is a good idea. They will help you as well as your mom. The hospice is there to support the family as well as the patient, and will have a social worker and support group. You just need to talk to someone and let a lot of this out. As far as the boyfriend, well it tells you a lot about a person's character doesn't it? You will find someone else when the time is right. Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welthy Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Oh Nutty, I'm so sorry for what you are going through right now. Try and hang in there. Everyone has made great suggestions about seeking counseling, pastoral care, in-hospital hospice, etc. Try and follow up on those tips. Also make sure you are getting the sleep you need and drinking plenty of water. I know they usually say this for the patients, but I've found that caretakers forget about these basics when they are all caught up in the flow of the patient's problems. I'm hoping that things will ease up emotionally for you. Discard the peripheral stuff that is clogging your brain. Those things can be dealt with another time. Another thing is to make sure you stay alert while driving. Caretaker brain-fog is dangerous and I found I had to really focus when I was driving during stressful times when I was emotionally overwhelmed. Please take care and lean on us too! Welthy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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