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end of life?


netadmin

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My MIL was diagnosed with stageIV lung cancer with mets to the brain in May 2006. Since June she has had full brain radiation, 2 rounds of chemo, a brain tumor removed, and most recently, gamma knife radiation on two more small brain tumors. On Saturday she was alert and seemed herself and at our house for a visit. Monday morning I found her unresponsive laying in bed. We brought her to the ER and the only thing they could tell us was that she was very dehydrated. She has been on fluids since Monday afternoon, but she is still completely confused to the point of not even knowing where she is. She is talking about things that happened in the past. While in the ER they did a ct scan and an MRI but didn't see any more brain tumors. No one is able to tell us why she is so confused. This happened so fast and I don't understand why. I am waiting on a call back from her oncologist to see if she can tell us what to expect next. If she is currently in the hospital, can she be evaluated by a hospice nurse? She has not eaten since Sunday night and I am very concerned that we are going to lose her soon.

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You've entered a great support system here. Welcome.

Sorry to hear things are this why for you now. Being a new person to cancer and this post I might not have much to offer you. I have just this morning been studing on Hospice and read a booklet they have on things to look for before a person passes away. I would suggest you contact hospice to get some info, help and support. They can guide you even if this is not her time. They are a wonderful source of help.

Prayerfully,

Beat it!!

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I am so sorry to hear about your mother in law. Unfortunately we never really know what the time line is and what everything means.

I have seen many instances (I think most recently of Lori's mom) (mamasbabygirl)where there is a 'moment of clarity' sometimes much longer than just a moment, where our loved on is talking, thinking, communicating so clearly and we can't help but hope and wonder if it is some miracle and then there is a swift decline.

Hospice is a great resource.

This inforamtion is not for everyone, but someone gave it to me when my mom was nearing the end. It may or may not be helpful for you but it really helped me.

This site has everything you may want to know about dying, what to look for and perhaps how to prepare and make it easier? (there is really no preparation or way to make death easier but I was always one to be armed with as much information as I could sponge up)

It helped me to know the end was near and had been, helped me to understand what her body was doing.

Look at the top of the site, which incidentally is from a pharmaceutical company (I never thought they had anything useful to say) look at the 'TOPICS' area.

http://dying.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=dying&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.merck.com%2Fmmhe%2Fsec01%2Fch008%2Fch008a.html

Again this is certainly not for everyone.

hugs,

Kim

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Net admin, I am sorry.

The unresponsiveness could be the neurological effects of the brain mets, but I am not medical.

Brain mets are typically the most immediate concern in patients...so I would think it could very well be the problem.

I pray the best for you and your family.

Please keep us posted on what the onc says.

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Sorry things aren't going so well right now. I'm praying there is improvement in your MIL soon. Please, talk to her doctor. There are so many things that seem to cause confusion in cancer patients and end of lie issues is only one of them. Dehydration, reaction to meds....only a few. Hope you find some answers.

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My MIL was moved to a nursing home yesterday because we have young kids and can't provide care 24/7 which is what she needs. After speaking with her oncologist, we believe her time left is very short. Chemo isn't an option anymore because she is too weak. She is hydrated and they have her potassium level back up, but she is still confused and getting less responsive every day. We are trying to feed her, but she eats very little. It is the brain mets and a small stroke that caused this to happen so fast. Thankfully, we have been assured that she isn't in any pain. We are going to meet with Hospice to help us through what time she has left. I am doing my best to keep my husband's spirits up. It breaks my heart to see what this disease does to people you love....

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I'm sorry. My heart is breaking for your family. I hope hospice is a comfort to your family right now. Please know that we are here when you need us. Keep us updated when you can. Will be thinking about and praying for all of you.

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You must be so confused and scared by this sudden turn for the worse.

I am really sorry. I hope they can fix it or make her as comfortable as possible.

Please keep us posted on her progress.

Prayers sent to her

Maryanne

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My dear mother-in-law has been under hospice care since Tuesday. We are so grateful for the help. She seems to be in no pain and it seems she will die peacefully. The organization we are working with have offered us all kinds of support and they have been wonderful to her and to our family. I am doing a good job of keeping my husband strong through all of this. We know it won't be long and are praying for it to be peaceful. Thank you so much for all of your kind words.

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Although I am not glad that this has to happen to any family, I am glad that hospice is working out for you.

Peace and comfort has to be a priority in many situations, as that is the best we can sometimes hope for. It is truly a blessing that your MIL has that at the moment.

We'll be here ready to listen (read).

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My mother-in-law passed away last night. I got to be with her when she died and it was peaceful. She knew it was time and she just stopped breathing. I am glad it happened when I was with her. The next few days are going to be so hard, but we have a great support system and will get through this. Good luck to everyone and thank you for all of your kind words.

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