netadmin Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 My MIL was diagnosed with stageIV lung cancer with mets to the brain in May 2006. Since June she has had full brain radiation, 2 rounds of chemo, a brain tumor removed, and most recently, gamma knife radiation on two more small brain tumors. On Saturday she was alert and seemed herself and at our house for a visit. Monday morning I found her unresponsive laying in bed. We brought her to the ER and the only thing they could tell us was that she was very dehydrated. She has been on fluids since Monday afternoon, but she is still completely confused to the point of not even knowing where she is. She is talking about things that happened in the past. While in the ER they did a ct scan and an MRI but didn't see any more brain tumors. No one is able to tell us why she is so confused. This happened so fast and I don't understand why. I am waiting on a call back from her oncologist to see if she can tell us what to expect next. If she is currently in the hospital, can she be evaluated by a hospice nurse? She has not eaten since Sunday night and I am very concerned that we are going to lose her soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beat it Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 You've entered a great support system here. Welcome. Sorry to hear things are this why for you now. Being a new person to cancer and this post I might not have much to offer you. I have just this morning been studing on Hospice and read a booklet they have on things to look for before a person passes away. I would suggest you contact hospice to get some info, help and support. They can guide you even if this is not her time. They are a wonderful source of help. Prayerfully, Beat it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastCoastLadi Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Netadmin...sorry about your mom...by all means talk to her onc. also if she is in the hospital, talk to the social workers, they can help you with everything you need to know about hospice, and get you started if you decide your mom needs it. Please know we are here for you..... Grace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mskim Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I am so sorry to hear about your mother in law. Unfortunately we never really know what the time line is and what everything means. I have seen many instances (I think most recently of Lori's mom) (mamasbabygirl)where there is a 'moment of clarity' sometimes much longer than just a moment, where our loved on is talking, thinking, communicating so clearly and we can't help but hope and wonder if it is some miracle and then there is a swift decline. Hospice is a great resource. This inforamtion is not for everyone, but someone gave it to me when my mom was nearing the end. It may or may not be helpful for you but it really helped me. This site has everything you may want to know about dying, what to look for and perhaps how to prepare and make it easier? (there is really no preparation or way to make death easier but I was always one to be armed with as much information as I could sponge up) It helped me to know the end was near and had been, helped me to understand what her body was doing. Look at the top of the site, which incidentally is from a pharmaceutical company (I never thought they had anything useful to say) look at the 'TOPICS' area. http://dying.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=dying&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.merck.com%2Fmmhe%2Fsec01%2Fch008%2Fch008a.html Again this is certainly not for everyone. hugs, Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
netadmin Posted October 19, 2006 Author Share Posted October 19, 2006 Thanks for your input. This is really a wonderful site and a great resource for people dealing with this horrible disease. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Net admin, I am sorry. The unresponsiveness could be the neurological effects of the brain mets, but I am not medical. Brain mets are typically the most immediate concern in patients...so I would think it could very well be the problem. I pray the best for you and your family. Please keep us posted on what the onc says. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Dehydration can cause confusion, but I don't know how long the confusion persists after fluid intake. I hope your mother in law is doing better now. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Sorry things aren't going so well right now. I'm praying there is improvement in your MIL soon. Please, talk to her doctor. There are so many things that seem to cause confusion in cancer patients and end of lie issues is only one of them. Dehydration, reaction to meds....only a few. Hope you find some answers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Hello netadmin Just adding my thoughts and prayers to the rest. You have gotten some very good advice here already. Please keep us posted on your MIL as you can and let us know how we can help. Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
netadmin Posted October 20, 2006 Author Share Posted October 20, 2006 My MIL was moved to a nursing home yesterday because we have young kids and can't provide care 24/7 which is what she needs. After speaking with her oncologist, we believe her time left is very short. Chemo isn't an option anymore because she is too weak. She is hydrated and they have her potassium level back up, but she is still confused and getting less responsive every day. We are trying to feed her, but she eats very little. It is the brain mets and a small stroke that caused this to happen so fast. Thankfully, we have been assured that she isn't in any pain. We are going to meet with Hospice to help us through what time she has left. I am doing my best to keep my husband's spirits up. It breaks my heart to see what this disease does to people you love.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers remain with you and your family. This is so hard, I wish I could say more or at least find the words to make this easier. Hugs Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 I'm sorry net admin... Many of us know what your are going through. My wife loved my mother...and the ordeal was hard for her. I'm sure this is hard for you. WE'll be here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharonjo Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 Net admin, I am so sorry that you are going through this. God Bless your MIL. I am praying for you and your family. Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 You must be so confused and scared by this sudden turn for the worse. I am really sorry. I hope they can fix it or make her as comfortable as possible. Please keep us posted on her progress. Prayers sent to her Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
netadmin Posted October 26, 2006 Author Share Posted October 26, 2006 My dear mother-in-law has been under hospice care since Tuesday. We are so grateful for the help. She seems to be in no pain and it seems she will die peacefully. The organization we are working with have offered us all kinds of support and they have been wonderful to her and to our family. I am doing a good job of keeping my husband strong through all of this. We know it won't be long and are praying for it to be peaceful. Thank you so much for all of your kind words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Netadmin, My prayers and thoughts remain with you and your family at this difficult time. I am very glad your MIL is not in pain and that Hospice has been able to give you some comfort. Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Although I am not glad that this has to happen to any family, I am glad that hospice is working out for you. Peace and comfort has to be a priority in many situations, as that is the best we can sometimes hope for. It is truly a blessing that your MIL has that at the moment. We'll be here ready to listen (read). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
netadmin Posted October 27, 2006 Author Share Posted October 27, 2006 My mother-in-law passed away last night. I got to be with her when she died and it was peaceful. She knew it was time and she just stopped breathing. I am glad it happened when I was with her. The next few days are going to be so hard, but we have a great support system and will get through this. Good luck to everyone and thank you for all of your kind words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sis Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Net Admin, I'm so sorry... Your family will be in our prayers. Sis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 I am so sorry to read this. My deepest sympathies and condolences. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 I am very sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplelady47 Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 I am so very sorry for your loss. With a gentle hug, Pam in FL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastCoastLadi Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 I'm so sorry about your mother in law. Please know my prayers are with you and your family. Grace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mskim Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 I am so sorry, Prayers for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 net admin, I am so sorry. I hope you and your family find all the peace you can at this time of loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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