Mom entered hospice care

[JanMarie]

I Have been away from this board for awhile, not even lurking. My 82 yr old mom who has been battling Stage IV NSCLC since June 2004 has made the decision to stop chemo and enter hospice.

My mom was always an active person says she does not want to go on living like this with no energy. Her 4th line chemo Taxoeter/ Gemazar totally wiped her out and the CT results we got right after she told the doctor no more do show progression in her liver mets both size and number and a small pleural effusion and small pericardial effusion but still no tumor in her lung. The tarceva did away with her lung tumor and it has not come back.

She just had a bone scan as she has now developed pain in her back and if it is the cancer they may do radiation for pain control. Since my mom made the decision to stop before we got the CT results I feel it shows that she knew it was time to stop.

It is sad to see it come to this as she was such a fighter for over 2 yrs but I will not say this is unfair as it is just life. Like it or not we all will die one day. My selfish heart doesn't want to see her die but my rational self knows she is tired, it knows quailty of life is what matters and it hates to see her in pain. The family all supports her decision and while I would love to spend one more christmas with her ( that old selfish heart) I wish her a peaceful death without pain and if it has to happen before christmas to be that way then that is how it will be. It is all in God hands.

My prayers are there for all of you that are caught in this awful journey.May some of you beat this disease. God bless you all, JanMarie

[carolhg]

I pray for peace, strength and comfort for your mother, you and your family.

[Don Wood]

Mom really knows best what is right for her. Hold onto the memories of the two years you have had, and all before that. With pain treatment, I hope she will be around a little longer for you. Don

[mamasbabygirl]

I'm sure this is hard for all of you, but I hope that your mom has lived a long good life full of love and laughter. Hugs

[missyk]

I know it's a difficult time and I wish you all strength and love while you walk this path. My prayers for a peaceful journey for you all.

All the mom's on here and who have been on here, yours included, amaze me and show me just what it is to be a mother...They're wonderful, as are you for being there for her.

Much love and many prayers...

[Nick C]

That's a BRAVE woman!!!

It's brave to fight!!

And it is brave to welcome the next chapter in our "being".

And it is REALLY amazing to show you can do both!

Quite a lady!

God bless her and you.

[karen335]

Jan,

Cherish the moments,live and laugh a lot...Sending lots of prayers..

Karen

[Maryanne]

I am so sorry for your moms decline. She certainly was a fighter. She may be losing the battle but never the fight.

I hope she is made comforable with her love ones at her side.

Peace be with you all.

Maryanne

[kreed70]

Sorry that all of this is going happening.

I completely identify w/ the selfish heart thing!

Sending prayers.

Kelly

[Welthy]

Sorry and I pray for God's comfort for your whole family.

Welthy

[sophiesdaughter]

JanMarie,

Your post really touched me, I am sorry you are going through this, it must be so hard. Off course it's not selfish to wish her to keep fighting... but at this point all you can do support her decision to not fight, just like you supported her in her fight before. I hope the weeks/months ahead will be comfortable for her, and remember to cherish every moment you have with her.

Prayers for you,

Rana

[j's girl]

JanMarie,

I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this right now. I am in awe of your strength and the ability to see anything positive in the situation. I don't think it's selfish to want your Mom to be with you as long as she can. It's human nature and speaks the strength of your relationship. Your Mom must be so proud of you!

Wishing your Mom peace and comfort.

[MEA]

JanMarie,

May your Mother's journey home be peaceful.

Asking God to comfort you and your family and to provide strength during this difficult journey.

Mary

[trish2418]

Praying for you, your mom, and your entire family.

Trish

[JanMarie]

Thanks for the replies. We have met with several members of mom's hospice team and have met mom's actual hospice nurse. I think she was sent by god as my mom has always been a huge animal lover, and her nurse Sam is too so they share a common bond and Sam insists the dogs be around when she visits mom. I was going to lock the dogs up but Sam would not hear of it.

My mom is a strong woman and does not seem at all afraid of death. I know there is a party just waiting for her up in heaven, not to mention alot of dogs and cats waiting to greet her.

To anyone here that has had a mother like mine all I can say is we were awfully lucky as not everyone was blessed with such a mother.While it is sad to say goodbye it would have been even sadder to have never known the love of such a woman and had the great relationship with her. I am cherishing every moment we still have together and hope all of you caught in this battle are doing the same with your loved ones.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. JanMarie

[TamHol]

God love your Mom ........... and you whole family to support her choices. She made a choice to fight this 2 years ago and that is a fine fight indeed at her age. To decide this now is a courageous choice and she has proven she does in deed "have the final word".

Good luck to her and your family in the coming seasons and time .... I'm sure each day will be as joyfully memorable as the day before.

Tammy

[michelepal]

You are ONE amazing lady! God bless you and your Family at this difficult time I will keep your Family in my prayers..

Love, Michele

[sharonjo]

Janmarie,

I am so sorry your family is going through this now. I lost my 28 yr old son a year ago to Osteosarcoma (a very nasty and agressive bone cancer). When his tumor came back and invaded his brain, we had to make the heart wrenching decision for him to enter hospice. This was the hardest thing I have ever had to endure in my life, and yet it was also the most caring and loving thing that I could have done for my son at that point in his life. The hospice team was wonderful and made my son's passing as painless as possible for him and for our family. I am praying for God to give your family strength and peace at this very difficult time for you all. God Bless your mother, she sounds like a true warrior. I will keep her in my prayers.

Sharon

[ma's kid]

Jan,

Sending strength, comfort, love and prayers.

Libby

[Maryanne]

G-d bless her, may peace be with her soon.

I am so sorry it has come to this. Hospice is wonderful and will make her comfortable and pain free.

We are always here for you.

Maryanne

[JanMarie]

We met my mom's hospice doctor, Jim the other day. I love this guy and wish I could clone him and replace many of the doctors I have to deal with at work with The clones! Heck I wish I could have him or a clone as my doctor as he is alot like my dog's vet and I always joke about using the vet as my doctor in the future.

Now that I know several of the hospice team members I will say that I could not have hand picked a better group to help my mom and my family through this difficult transition.

Jim started my mom on decadron which seems to be stimulating her appetite so she has been eating some the past two days and seems a bit perkier. He feels that if she eats /drinks and gets past this dehydration and malnutrition that she could be around for a few months ( thou no one knows for sure as anything could happen).

I am keeping my fingers crossed that she gets some strength back and will be with us and able to enjoy the holidays one last time. Thanks for the prayers. Sending some back your way. JanMarie

[trish2418]

I'm glad Hospice is working out so well for all of you. I've got my fingers crossed that your mom will be around for many more holidays. Hope the dehydratiion is resolved soon.

Trish