jheese Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 I'm an absolute mess. My mom was dx not even two months ago with stage IV NSCLC with bone (a rib) and brain mets. She broke her hip and had to have surgery two weeks ago. Before doing surgery, they did some MRIs. Found that she has tumors all up and down her spinal cord. (Not in the cord, just outside of it.) Took her to the hospital yesterday because of severe constipation. Abdominal CT shows it's in her adrenal glands and there may be a spot on her butt. All of the doctors say these tumors we are just learning about are not new - they just didn't look for them before. The doctor at the hospital last night told my dad that we should put her in hospice, take her off radiation and chemo and that she may not even have a month left. He also told my dad to remember that the cancer center is in it for money! This is the first time he had met my mom. She's having a tough time, yes. She's highly over medicated and has been confused the past few days and out of it. But, she was great a week ago when she got out of the hospital. It hasn't even been two months since she was dx. I don't want to be selfish. My mom does still have good days. I don't want her to suffer. She has all these drs. that are seeing her for five minutes on her worst days. Her doctors said last week that we haven't even given radiation and chemo a chance to work. But, then this guy last night tells my dad hospice. I don't want to give up on her if something may help. Mom is young. This is so, so hard. Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dawn79 Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 You sound like me. It's all happening so fast, and no one can give you clear answers, right? Mom was diagnosed less than a month ago and she's already on oxygen full-time, and I have no idea if that is permanent or what. The only thing I can tell you is grill your doctors. You deserve to know all the answers. Get as many opinions as possible. Good luck to you and your mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kreed70 Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 Jill, I am so sorry that all of this is happening to your mom. Don't listen to them about length of time someone has. Only God knows how much time one has. I am not sure about hospice and when they should be called. Many people on here know a lot though. I do know that many people have survived a long time being Stage IV. Prayers to you and your family!! Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jheese Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 Thanks for the support. They're saying one or two weeks. Who knows. We're taking her home tomorrow for hospice. She's accept it. She's so tough. This is so hard. My brothers and I have taken off of work for a while to be with her. I just pray that she can have some days with us, coherantly, where she is not suffering. I tell you what, we need to rally. Where are all the lung cancer walks? Almost 200,000 people dx a year, and I never, ever, hear about fundraising specifically for lung cancer. Ugh! Sorry, I'm frustrated about this whole thing, and I'm just broken-hearted. My mom has been my clutch forever. The most selfless person I've known, and there are so many things that she will be robbed from. Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Jill, I am so sorry your mom is going through this. What city are you in and don't give up. Get a 2nd opinion. This disese is very treatable. Don't give up. That is terrible what the doctor said, in it for the money. Oh my gosh, run out of that place don't walk... Can you update your mom's profile so we can help you...There are too many treatments out there... Hugs and prayers, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea B. Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Dear Jill, My advice is to get a second opinion and fast. My mom ended up in the hospital with fluid in her lungs the pulmonologist on duty (who just met my mom) told her to get her things in order, because she would never make it out of the hospital. She was the absolute cruelest doctor I have ever encountered, no bedside manner whatsoever. My mom battled back and got out of the hospital and was better than ever, she proved them all wrong. We knew in our hearts when the time was right to call hospice. We never gave up hope. I learned through my mom's fight that you have to be your own advocates. My mom's oncologist unfortunately didn't specialize in lung cancer and so I brought up clinical trials that she had never heard about. I am so sorry you are going through this. I am here if you need to chat. Sending you my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda661 Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Jill, No one really knows when to say it's time for hospice and such. As caregivers, we have to run on what our dx'd family member says they want to do -- they know what's going on inside better than any of us, doctors included. And there are survivors of stage IV -- the key is knowing treatment options when those doctors don't offer much in that venue and having a supportive medical team on your side. I found it highly distressing that the doctors would comment that the cancer center is just in it for the money -- especially after those docs admitted that they missed those tumours in the first place. I'd run like heck elsewhere with that attitude showing! Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TamHol Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Hi Jill, A doctor telling the family "X" amount of time is only a guestimate ..... it's up to the individual person and their body to prove them wrong or right. Each persons body works with cancer differently ... how else can you explain "no symptoms" etc. This is going quick and the only information I have for you is what my neighbour was told. She was told by homecare (hospice) that the medication is not uncommon for the spreaded cancer to spread faster. It's a catch 22 since the pain is hard to avoid the med's are a great thing for releiving that. But the down side is it allows the cancer to spread more and faster. My neighbour RoseMary ran this past the cancer specialist and he agreed that it can happen ... although does not in everyone. Good luck to you in the coming days. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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