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kimblanchard

Officially stage 4 as of yesterday

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They changed their minds. At the mediastinoscopy, they woke up me up afterwards and told me all samples were negative - there was no cancer.

I went in for my 2 week followup appointment yesterday, and he told me that the second set of samples that they look at closer - one of them had cancer in it, same kind as had been in my lung.

So, I have metastisis (sp?) to the lymphnodes in the center of my chest and apparently one in my neck, so stage 4 now, instead of 1 a. oh goody.

Surgeon says it is not where they can do anything surgically, it definitely isn't curable, definitely terminal. oh goody.

Said maybe I could have radiation.

I don't think so. My father listened to the lies as to how radiation and chemotherapy would lengthen his life - but it didn't lengthen it at all - and he was miserable, wretchedly sick the whole time.

I think I will bypass any radiation or chemotherapy. I would really like to feel decent - I currently feel fine - as long as I possibly can. If things get painful, then give me painkillers, but let me die at home, without people starving or thirsting me to death, without stomach tubes or ventilators, with at least my hair intact.

I am so sad that God hasn't saved me from this - I thoguht He was and had but evidently I am damned. I don't know of anything worse than to be damned in God's eyes.

Except maybe to be one of those lying oncologists. I wouldn't want to be one of those.

Honestly, if I had a cure for cancer, I could not in good conscience SELL it to people or charge people to give it to them - HOW COULD I and still look at myself in the mirror? To do anything less than give it away would be a moral crime. How oncologists live with themselves and the false hopes they give people - like my father - they promised him YEARS - like my neighbor - they've promised her YEARS -

and it's obvious they know better.

Still feels awful to be damned.

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Janet,

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I DO know how feel. I was a limited stage SCLC in May, 02 and became a Stage IIIB NSCLC in May, 03 when we found a new node in my right neck that was a new and different cancer, a large cell neuroendocrine cancer. I had the node removed and we're still shooting for a cure.

It sounds to me like you are a stage IIIB also, not a IV. Stage IIIB (and even Stage IV) IS curable with chemo and radiation in a few people and I plan to be one of them. Yes, the odds against us are high but not impossible. I understand your desire to avoid the side effects if treatment, I've felt the same way and I don't like other people telling me what I have to do. It's our life. But I strongly urge you to get another opinion from another oncologist and reconsider some form of chemo/radiation.

God bless us

Sam

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I would like to echo Sam's suggestion to reconsider treatmnent. I was diagnosed with extensive SCLC on 2/14/03, since then I have been on chemo, the first round shrunk my tumors 60%, then stopped working. I switched oncologists and have been on a new chemo regimen since the end of July. I am feeling better than I have felt in a long time, I feel like I have my old energy and stamina back. Yes I did lose my hair, I have had very few side effects from the chemo, some but not unbearable. Everyone is different in how they tolerate chemo and the side effects they suffer. You may be very lucky like I have been and do very well. I would much rather take what is offered and fight back than just to give in. I intend to fight this disease with everything I posess and hopefully to enjoy much more of life. I would get another opinion right away if I were you, but only you can make that decision. I would also suggest that you read about some of the cases of members of this message board and then judge for yourself. Some of the stories will amaze you.

Bess B

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None of those in my family who have been through the treatments have favored well. They all suffered horrible side effects, and the cancer marched on.

I asked my father if he would do it again (chemo and radiation) and he was silent. I understood that as a very loud NO. THe treatments didn't get rid of the cancer, didn't shrink it but just a little bit but DID fry his lungs completely so that they became all scar tissue and wouldn't work, DID make it impossible for him to swallow, made it impossible for him to live without carrying oxygen everywhere. They made him think there were lots of things they could do for him but after they did their treatments and the treatments only made him sick and didn't touch the cancer - they turned him away "sorry , nothing more we can do". I'm not interested in dishing out all that money to them to experience the same results.

THIS IS A MONEY MAKING BUSINESS. There is no cure, no remedy. But they sure are capitalizing on it while they can.

I'm a single mom of 4 children, ages 4 to 14. I have a job to support them. I am their only support. I have to work as long as I possibly can - I don't have TIME to be sick with treatments. I hope when the cancer gets bad, that it goes quick so I don't lose my life insurance. The children need it.

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Guest DaveG

When my oncologist restaged me to Stage IV in April, the question wasn't how much time I have, but the question was how much time do I want. When I said to make it to my 50th wedding anniversary in 18 years, the next comment was, "We have our work cut out for us, because it is a possibility that we will work for. We may not be able to cure it, but we sure as hell can control it."

I have finished my first go round with chemo and on Tuesday I get the scans that will determine what happens next. I wasn't scared when I was told I was now a Stage IV, but I was disappointed in myself, because I feel as If I did something that caused me to become a Stage IV. (This isn't the case at all, because we can't control those things.)

While going through chemo I had my bad days and good days, fortunately more good then bad. If on Tuesday, I am told we have to do it again, then we do it again. I'm upright, breathing, and eating. If taking another round of chemo is necessary to continue, then we do it, simple as that. Sam knows that I won't quit or give-up, he knows that I will go for the full ball of wax. I will do whatever is necessary to get me those 18 years.

Each of us have our own goals for ourselves as we deal with lung cancer. Some of this may seem impossible but we still live our goals.

Dave

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Janet,

What your children need more than a life insurance payout is a mother with a fighting spirit. You have the power to instill in them that you don't just lay down and give up when adversity stares you in the face. That is the biggest thing that you can give them! PLEASE Janet, get a second opinion. If I (or my parents) accepted every diagnosis/prognosis a doctor has ever given me/my/parents or my siblings, I should have never lived passed 5 years old, my sister should be dead by now (should have been dead 15 years ago, serious blood disorder), my brother should have never grown past 5'4 (he is 5'11). Doctors even told my sister that if she didn't abort her pregnancies, she would die during childbirth (she is still alive and has two healthy kids) and so many other things.

Everyone responds differently to treatments, but I can ASSURE you that a positive attitude makes a difference in survival. I would be more than happy to provide you with many scientific studies that looks at the differences in people who survive and beat serious illnesses......the major factor that seperates people who survive and those who don't is a fighting spirit and a will to survive and also those who believe that they have some control in their lives. Yes, I understand that good people die and suffer and it isn't right or fair. But if people never stood up and fought for things, then we would still be stuck in caveman times.

I am urging you to reconsider your plan of action. I know that you have in you a fighting spirit! Channel some of that negativity into some positive energy! I don't mean to sound harse but I don't want you to give up! I know you don't want to suffer and are afraid, but if you are feeling healthy (as you say you are) than maybe you can tolerate treatment. Again, seek another oncologist! I know it is hard to trust doctors when you have seen loved ones suffer in their care. They should be on your side and be willing to go into battle for you! PLease drop me an e-mail or give me your phone number. I don't know you, but I believe that everyone has value and I know your family values you! Everyone's life is precious!!

I'm sorry that this post is so long, but I believe that your life is worth fighting for!! Be strong!! It is okay to be scared, but lets turn the tables and make the cancer scared of you!!

Kathi

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Dear Janet,

Oh my God, your post, I don't know what to say, but I am going to try this. My mother, Judy B, was told they couldn't operate in 2002, and that she would probably die soon, and she forced them to operate and she is still around, also she wasn't going to do Chemo or radiation, just like yourself, becasue why be so sick the last months of your life? I understand that, but she did it and did survive, yes it came back and yes she just went through surgery again and again the odds are against her.

I guess the point is, if there is "any" chance to survive, then try it. Get a second opinion, a third, a fourth, anything.

I wish I could help you, and I wish there was a cure, but for now all we can do is fight and pray, and lean on each other.

Please think about it. I know it is hard and easy to be so angry, and I am there with ya, I get it , I do, and you are not your family, they might have not been successful in their treatment, but you might be, and if you give up now, you'll never know.

My heart goes out to you and your children and please think about it.

Stephanie

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The survival rate is about 2% with modern medical science. That's awful. THat's a 98% failure rate.

I am placing my confidence and hope in God, not in man and man's medicine.

If God heals me, it is to His glory. If He doesn't heal me, then it is right and just and I evidently am damned.

I'm sorry I don't go with the theory of run to the doctors first, run to God last when the doctors fail.

This time, I go to God first, and then if He chooses not to heal me and I get real freaked with it, I may then use the doctors as a last resort. If He DOES choose to heal me, then it is to HIS glory.

I cannot stand it when people do the whole doctor treatment thing first ...then when it doesn't work and the person is dying, they stand around very somber looking, saying "Well, now all we can do is pray". The tone they say it in makes it obvious they think that praying will produce nothing and it is hopeless. They might as well be saying (forgive me for using these words but it is true), "Well, now all we can do is pis_ in the wind". That's how much faith they have when prayer is used as a last resort and they utter those words oh so sadly, shaking their heads .

NO! God is the healer and in the BIble is written that if we will turn to Him, he will save us, heal us, heal all our diseases.

God doesn't ask us to mortgage the house in order to be given His healing either.

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There was a man who lived in a house.

One day there was a flood, and the house was filling up with water, and fast.

Well a truck came by and the driver yelled to the man, "get in and I'll drive you out of here!"

The man replied, "No thank you, God will save me"

Then after and hour or so the house was full to the second floor, and a boat came by and the captin said, "Come on board and I will take you to dry land."

The man replied, "No thank you, God will save me."

Then the house was completely covered by water and the man was sitting on the roof, and a helicopter came by, and the pilot yelled down to the man, "I'm dropping a latter get on and I'll take you to safety"

Again the man replied, "No thank you, God will save me."

Of course the man drowned, and when he got to Heavan and met God, he said, "Why didn't you save me?"

God said, "What are you talking about? I sent you a car, a boat and a helicopter"

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I asked the oncologist the first time I met him a few weeks ago if he believed in God.

The look on his face - and his answer to me - showed me loud and clear that this is not a man sent by God nor anyone that I could feel God was working through.

If there is a chance that God might be working through someone, that might be different, but an oncologist? You know what they charge and I don't see any justification in that - that is not a practice of healing, but a practice of making obscene amounts of money. UNREAL.

We are very limited on oncologists here - I am rural. Very few - I'm not impressed with the few there are that I have met and I have no desire to travel three hours to reach one.

I don't believe God would send the boat you spoke of, so to speak, that came with a huge price tag, only rescueing those who had the ability to PAY. I have the insurance to take care of a large part of it - but still would go bankrupt myself - I could GET the treatments - but don't think I will -

I had a friend - she had cancer and actually WANTED their treatments - but she could not get them because she didn't have insurance and didn't have money - they would NOT help her simply because she did not have the money or insurance - would NOT help her at all. She died, still in her 30s! I doubt that their treatments would have helped her - but they simply would not SEE her, or treat her either, because she didn't have any financial resources.

I have no respect for doctors who can function like that, being selective and giving only the "privileged" their care and letting the rest die. I don't see God's hand in that - -all I see is a greed monster.

I know how angry my father was at the end - he was SO fooled by these guys - he believed what they told him - and then for it to end up like that. He was so angry he had given them his trust.

On a more positive note, There is a man in our town who the doctors told him that he HAD to take treatments right away - he would surely die soon if he didn't. He decided against it and did not take any treatments, quit going to the doctors. He is still alive today, something like 3 years later, and doing pretty well, actually. Go figure.

THese oncologist are quick to let you know you will die without them. Why aren't they anxious to see the very poor? They simply refuse to - those people never make it past the reception desk. That says it all.

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Guest Michael

www.kushiinstitute.org/healing/vitt.html

Please read the testimonial of Janet E. Vitt, RN who in 1995 was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma with mets to the liver, pancreas, abdomen & lymph system.

Janet owns a cooking school at 833 Spicers Lane, Sagamore Hills, Ohio 44067 ....telephone 330 467-6739.

If you have trouble with the above website use google and do a search using the words: Janet E. Vitt

You can also look at the story of Lorraine Day. Although she didn't have lung cancer but rather breast stage 4. Doctors gave her no hope.

www.drday.com

You may even consider calling Janet E. Vitt.

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I'm going to pray for your children. I find it hard to believe that if you are a true Christian, you would not believe that God works through other people.

On a side note, do you know what it take to become an oncologist? Do you know how many years of schooling it takes? They start off with hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of debt and then on top of that, the malpractice insurance rate is upwards of $100,000 a year if not more. Why do you think many doctors are leaving the health care field? Yes their are greedy doctors, but I know more greedy pastors and priests that have robbed their followers than greedy doctors.

I pray that your hardened heart will soften for the sake of your family and children.

May God rest your soul in peace.

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They lied to my father. He believed them - he was horrified when he learned they had lied.

I have a friend in town - they have lied to her - she has adenocarcinoma, just like me - much farther spread - they have told her the survival rate for this is 90% and is NOT fatal.

Those are the very same oncologists I would be seeing - the ones who tell my friend that adenocarcinoma isn't the "fatal kind" of lung cancer -

Hardened heart? More like opened eyes.

I'm a teacher. I'm not far from having my doctorate - Do you know how much time I've put into schooling? How much money? Do you know how much teachers get paid? What depends on teacher? Nothing much - just the literacy of the children, the future of the country -!!

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Michael, I've looked at those with great interest in weeks and months past - I am turned off by anything that ask for money, or for great amounts of money, though. I'm a common person - I don't have $2000 for a cooking class. I *do* take a great interest in the field of whole foods, enzymes, etc. that may be of benefit and find both intriguing, though.

If God were to give a cure for this disease, He wouldn't charge people for it - or limit it only to the wealthy.

If anyone were to come up with a cure, it would be a crime against humanity to make riches from it, to limit it only to the elite.

I *do* believe that God works through people - but not people who lie to others - If an oncologist lies to people about their state of health, about their chance of survival - I don't believe that God can be working through that person - not a liar!

Somewhere there may be a truthful oncologist who really seeks to help people and doesn't seek to deceive them . I haven't met one yet though. I'm not being hateful - just truthful.

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Then pray, Janet. That would be my reaction too. Like you, I react when I hear "all we can do now is pray". Prayer is the starting, not the ending point.

Although not an authority on spiritual matters, I think I can safely say that it is wiser not to dictate God's response to Him. I cannot read your heart, but your words certainly sound as though that is what you are doing. In some circles that is known as the sin of pride.

The cost of treatment, any treatment, in the United States seems both incredible and intolerable to us who live in the European Union. It is of course just as high here, but covered to a great extent by solidarity and not the individual patient. I think the American health insurance system is at fault here ; the blame does not lie on your oncologist.

I am praying for you.

A.

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Dictate God's response to him? Excuse me, I'm not sure exactly what that means, and I certainly don't think I've done such a thing. I'm looking at things from a simple, hillbilly point of view: WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?!!

Certain things seem obvious, and I don't think there's any sin of pride playing into that.

What's up with the cover of "guest"?

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Janet,

It's Fay....I was mistakenly diagnosed as Stage I FOUR YEARS AGO. I was actually STAGE IV FOUR YEARS AGO!!!!!!

I've spent the past 2 1/2 years being told that I was not surgically resectable. (I had hilar and subcarinal lymph nodes). I don't know exactly why the docs decided that I was operable this year, but they did. I had my lung, a rib, and all of the lymph nodes on the right side of the mediastinum and up into the neck removed in May of this year.

I'm going through 4 cycles of chemo with the hopes that it will knock out any micromets floating around looking for a place to set up housekeeping.

Go on disability, deal with the health issues, recover, and then go back to TEACHING.

What your children need is for you to live long enough to see them graduate college, marry and have children of their own. And the chances of that happening are slim if you don't fight the cancer now.

Leave those doctors and go to someone else. You may have to leave your local area for treatment. I drove 340 miles round trip to see the docs at one cancer center, and I drove about 1200 miles round trip to go to the other cancer center. When they took out my lung and those nodes they found one of the nodes had no active cancer "consistent with treatment effect". I drove that 1200 miles so I could get the drug "Iressa" as part of a clinical trial.

I know how discouraged you are....and how worried you are for your children. Please do not give up. I lost my Mother to lung cancer, Janet. I lost my Father to Pancreatic Cancer. I know what chemo and radiation and surgeries do to people. And I know that sometimes, one of the things that they do is allow us to live longer and better.

It's your decision...it's your life. What you have to decide is whether or not the life you are trying to save is worth saving...and living.

I will respect and support you no matter what you decide to do. My will to live is ferocious, Janet. I will try not to project that on to you, but I hope that you understand how difficult that will be and won't hold it against me if I slip up every now and again...

You have some difficult decisions ahead of you.

Fay A.

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janet,

I was just trying to help you. I am not a doctor, and agree that the health care system in the US sucks, but I also don't believe that they lie just to get your money, I think rather they have to give the worst case senario, and with treatment many people live, so you do what is right for you, but I hope you can work through this anger because I don't imagine you want to live the rest of your life mad and also having your kids see you like this.

The other thing is, do something about it. Write to Oprah, write a book, start a lung cancer walk, or run to help people like yourself. Being angry and bitter doesn't help people, maybe write to your governor, or the president about the health care system, use your anger to help others.

I hope God does bless you and your family and I apologize if my posts made you more mad, I was just trying to help. I believe God gives us opertunities to help our selves and I also believe He works in mysterious ways, and maybe your oncologist isn't the lying sack of crap you think he is.

BIG HUGS to you!

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Janet

I think prayer and doctors go hand in hand. When I got my diagnosis the first thing I did was pray and ask my family and friends to pray for me next I started treatment. I do not believe anyone who believes in God would wait to begin praying. Also I don't know where you live but in all the hospitals where I live it is against the law not to provide medical treatment to people who have no insurance, they have to treat you. If you have insurance I don't understand what the financial burden would be, I have been in treatment for seven months and have only had to pay about $1,200 out of pocket so far and there is a max of $1750 per year out of pocket on my policy.

I know you are angry right now and I don't blame you, I was also angry when I was diagnosed, who wouldn't be, but it is so true that a positive attitude is SO important in fighting this and any disease. Try and turn your anger into something positive. Please rethink your plan, I will be praying for you.

Bess B

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Wait to begin praying? I've been praying since before I ever knew I was sick and I've never stopped praying! I was talking about people who turn to doctors first, then when everything has been tried to no benefit, turn and say, "All we can do now is pray...".

I'm sorry but I canNOT trust the oncologists -they did indeed lie to my father - he was so angry when he found out - and then he died. They have indeed lied to my friend here locally - she thinks she has the "nonterminal" type of cancer! She thinks she has a 90% chance of survival, though she is stage 4, has had chemo, radiation, part of lung removed, several parts of ribs removed, brain radiated - and she and her family are now almost bankrupt. That "lying sack" is the same one I would see if I went - there are very few here. She has the same insurance I have.

Another friend - local - died because she could get no treatment at all -they would not see her - she had no insurance, no money - so she got no treatment - none at all. That's the reality of it - I see people with no money turned away, and people with money are told they WILL survive. But they die anyway.

Disability won't pay the mortgage, won't pay the bills and I can't get disability until I've been disabled for 6 months, I"m told. I don't have enough financial reserves to last 1 month, let alone 6. If I don't work, my children don't eat. If I don't work, there will be no health insurance, or life insurance. Or roof over our heads.

I know my outlook is different than others - but this is me and I prefer to wait on God for healing - He is the greatest physician there ever was, He doesn't require me to be rich, He can fix ANYthing and it is written in the Bible that He will heal all our diseases. I believe the Bible, I really do. I will keep praying and keep hoping. I don't expect God will heal me, as I am nobody special, but I will keep hoping and praying and if He does, it will be to His glory. If He doesn't, it will be to my sorrow.

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My faith is in a higher power, my faith is in God. Oncologists are not God, and whether they give you a statistic like 4-6 months or 90% cure rate, it's all just a guess. And most likely, unless they are psychic, they will be wrong. Their guess is based on their limited or expert experiences. I tried to keep that in mind always. They are human, just like us, they aren't Gods or superheros, and it was my job to make sure that whatever options were out there, my dad received them. In my area, they do not refuse treatments to anyone based on the ability to pay. There is also the ACS who you can call for free medical equipment and volunteers from the hospital who will drive patients to there treatments, cook and clean for them.

What I did trust was my faith in my own abilities to stay on top of the medical profession. I researched endlessly to find the treatments and best possible road to go down. I trusted in my fathers ability to tell me what he needed and how far he wanted to go, and I trusted that as long as we had our love, faith, and were the best advocates possible for my dad, that whatever happened in the end, however long or short he had, it would be his time to go.

Having our faith didn't mean Dad just laid down and accepted the fact that he was given a 4 month death sentence. He wanted to live...and with the help of caring medical professional...I will admit that I had to keep on top of them constantly, came up with several suggestions for treatment and medication which the Oncologist used...(Dads oncologist was very nice by the way and supportive and NEVER gave us a timeline or any statistics) my dad lived 8 months longer than expected.

8 months might not mean anything to anyone else...but it meant EVERYTHING to us, and we shared more wonderful memories and love in the last year than in the last 30 years. My husband and I even wrote and created THIS message board and we met Estrea from LCSC. There isn't a cure now, no, but if a new treatment or medication had come along within those last 8 months, my dad would still be alive.

We looked at the cancer as a chronic condition that needed to be battled and kept in control...until the next treatment... Many here have done just that for several years.. with remissions that last a long period of time in-between reocurrences, and they will keep on doing it until a better treatment comes along and eventually a cure.

You are the only one who can decide what you want and can do about your cancer. You don't have to have treatments, but if you do, I hope you realize that not all oncologists are like the ones you've experienced. That not everyone has bad reactions to chemo or radiation, and that may people here continue to work during their treatments.

I'm not here to convince you of anything. I'm not here for an arguement or to debate faith vs. science. I just wanted to add my two cents and welcome you to the message board.

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Janet,

Like Katie before me, I am not here to debate faith vs science...but rather to add my two cents. I almost wasn't going to even post, because after all, this is your call.

I know that you already know where I'm coming from, from the other message board several weeks back.

The only thing that I wanted to add was my thinking about my kids. When I first got sick and they told me I had cancer, I remember telling my friend that it would be okay...if only I didn't have kids. I have lived a lifetime in my 47 years.... and now, I am living in the town from hell, in a job I hate and it would be okay, for me, if I had to leave this world...in many ways, I'm so tired. I'm not really that afraid to die, for me.

However, its those damn kids!!! Once I had my kids, I ceased living for just myself and had to start living for them. My kids and my 4 grandchildren were the reason every single time I got my butt in my car and drove the 8 hour roundtrip drive to Tulsa. And I had to make that drive many times.

Rural? I wouldn't trust my pets to half the doctors in this town. Therefore, I had to leave the town to find someone fairly decent...and don't think I trust THEM completely!! My current Oncologist is in town, but if and when the day comes when my cancer returns (hopefully he'll be able to detect that), you had better believe that once again I will hightail it out of here to get better care, no matter how inconvenient it may be. I personally feel that I owe it to my children to fight this battle and every single additional day that I can be with them will be a miracle. And you know what? I doubt that either my 25 year old daughter or my 4 year old son will care if I have no hair and am sick and am tired. They will be able to still touch me.

Of course, I'm not yet in the same boat as you are so it may look like its easy for me to talk. However, I know certain truths about myself and know that, in the end, I will fight tooth and nail. I have survived poverty, survived my alcohol and drug addictions, have survived abusive relationships, and I will not go down without a fight with this one.

Perhaps it is easier for me because I don't necessarily have strong faith in a God, and feel that I need to put in my own footwork in this life.

I don't think I could ever see this from your angle because of that, but it is, of course, your life to do with what you wish. Maybe you could try for a second opinion at least, outside of your town. Whatever you decide Janet, please know that I wish you well....

Debi

47 years old

Stage 1a- nsclc

Surgery June 16, 2003 - Mid & upper lobe removed

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My dear Janet,

I don't know you but you can bet I hurt very much for you and your children.

I have read and reread every post you did on here today, then got up from the computer, went out to the kitchen and started fixing dinner for my Buddy and me.. I could not concentrate on fixing dinner so I came back to the computer and thought I needed to put in my two cents to you my dear friend. Well, I wrote many paragraphs of why you should give yourself and your children a chance for the future but then I erased all of them and went back out to the kitchen to try and think how one with four lovely children can come up with your decision. I am not saying that it is not the right one for you but I am having a hard time with it. I do love God and believe in him deeply but at the same time I do feel we must also help ourselves at times to.

I don't know who you are the maddest at, the onc, God or yourself. I do feel you have a lot of pain.. I will go for yourself. It seems to me that you can't figure out how to hold on to the material things for your children and still go for treatment to try to survive. You have a big load on your shoulders and it has put a lot of anger within you. You seems to be finding fault with life, with the onc, with whatever and whoever because you are hurting so bad inside. YOu say the onc lied to your father. Did you ever think that he told your father what he felt your father could handle. I have heard how drs at times have to go by what the patient can handle even though it is not the full truth. It makes sense to me for I know my mom could not have handled the truth nor could a dear friend of mine. Sometimes the lies give hope and sometimes hope can do miracles. As for your friend who had no income and received no service, this is another thing that must have another side to it. For your friend, being disabled and no income of any kind, could possibly have filed for SSI which would have given her a medical card to dr with plus monthly income.

Now I think, what would Janet do if one of her children became seriously ill. Would she put the child in God's hands only or would she try what God gave man the power to come up with to fight dreaded deseases...would she give up all material things for her child if it came to that. I think the answer would be yes, she would. So, why not fight for you. God will come along and watch over you and if it is your time to join him, then so be it, but if these drugs they are fighting this cancer with happens to work on you, then you will be around to see your four great children grow into adults. What could you ask for any better than that...Think about your decision twice Janet for there is a point of no return...God be with your decision....

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Guest DaveG

Everyone on my medical team has a God given gift. My doctor has the God given gift of Medical Science. My oncology nurse, the God given gift of nursing in the specialty of oncology. I have put my trust and most of all, my God given faith in their talents and education. I also pray along with all of this. With me prayer is something that is ongoing.

I wish to correct one statistic you used in an earlier post. The survival rate in lung cancer is 15% not 2%. Give the talents of God a chance, turn to the physcians and nurses, let them do the job God has given them to do. Like me, take a chance on that 15%. You have a family to care for, put them first give them the chance to have their mother present for high school graduation, then college graduation, weddings, etc. If you don't, then your children go through life saying "If mother was only here to see this."

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Janet,

I have been following this discussion with great interest. I am not one to push religion on someone, but I can tell you that God does love us and altho the road may seem rough at times, He will never put more on us then we can handle. Sometimes he puts us in the valley so we can look up. If we stayed on the mountain top we would be looking down.

Read the book of Job in the old testament. Job lost it all but in the end he came out on top.

I had chemo and radiation at the same time because the surgeon said he did not think he could operate and do any good. I had no side effects from treatment that I could tell. I was tired but I was tired before the radiation/chemo so I can not say that was a side effect.

When I was first diagnosed I came home from the doctor and gave my wife the bad news. I then looked at her and said " I am going to bed and forget it." I thought I had been given the death sentence. Many prayers went up on my behalf. People that I did not really know told me they were praying for me and a couple even offered blood if I needed it. Again these were strangers. After my surgery to remove my left lung was over, I had 4 doctors come to my room and tell me that it was remarkable how my surgery went. I was told before hand what to expect when I woke up. I was told I'd be in ICU with tubes in my side and a tube in my throat to breathe. I was told that I would be in hospitol for at least 10 days. The surgeon called the wait room and told my family that I was going to go to ICU. Now listen to this...

After my surgery was over I did not go to ICU. I was in the recovery room 45 minutes before I woke up. I was laying there talking to the nurse about her baby that was due in about 3-4 weeks. I only had 2 tubes in me. One was my IV and the other was a cather to my bladder. I did have the morphine tube also. I went home on the 5th day.

Why am I telling you this? I can't change your mind, that is up to you, but I can tell you that God does love you and cares about you. We can't understand WHY about a lot of things in life but one day we will see clearly. I am reminded of an old song...Farther along we will understand why, Cheer up my brother live in the sunshine, we'll understand it all bye and bye.

I read your website with great interest. I can not believe the same person wrote the web site that wrote this post. You are turning everything on the webpage around. You were so strong and now you seem to be the opposite. You were ready to fight the cancer and now you are giving up.

Sorry if it sounds like I am preaching to you but it hurts to know that you are going to let this cancer whip you instead of you whipping it. Hang in there and fight it. I lost my mom in 2000 and my brother 6 months before her both to lung cancer. And now me. I intend to fight it with all I got.

As far as your SS disability goes, there is no waiting period for SSI. You are correct there is wait period for SS. I was told that I could go on SSI (no wait period) and then go to SS in 6 months. Of course you must qualify for SSI also. I did not qualify due to my short term disability at work. May be turned down for SS don't know yet. Have you checked for Medicaid in your state?

I am going to close with this thought for you. GOD PLUS ME EQUALS ENOUGH. I hope you will reconsider your treatment.

Will be praying for you.

Bruce

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