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The Gift of Grief


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I have not lost a spouse or parent, and can only image the grief and pain that comes with it. But I saw this tonight and wanted to share.


The Gift of Grief

Author Unknown

"Death takes away. That’s all there is to it.

But grief gives back. By experiencing it, we are not simply eroded by pain. Rather, we become more compassionate, more aware, more able to help others, more able to help ourselves.

Grief is powerful. It plunges us into the depths of sorrow and forces us to face the finiteness of life, the mightiness of death, and the meaning of our existence here on this earth.

It does more than enable us to change: it demands it.

The way we change is up to us.

It is possible to be forever bowed by grief.

It is possible to be so afraid of one aspect of it that we become frozen in place, stuck in sorrow, riveted in resentment or remorse, unable to move on.

But it is also possible to be enlarged, to find new direction, and to allow the memory of the beloved person who has died to live on within us... not as a monument to misery, but as a source of strength, love and inspiration.

By acting on our grief, we can eventually find within ourselves a place of peace and purposefulness.

It is my belief that all grievers, no matter how intense their pain, no matter how rough the terrain across which they must travel, can eventually find that place within their hearts."

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Yeah... While I find a lot of nuggets of truth in that, and do appreciate them, this gift is another that I wish had an easier exchange policy. I'm not sure that I will ever get to that 'peace' that the writer speaks of... but I know that this has changed me, and probably has made me a stronger, better, more compassionate person. Those are worthwhile things, I just wish they hadn't come at so high a cost. (I'd totally stay a shallow, weak person if I could still have my Mom here).

Thank you for sharing though--minus the 'gift' verbage there is some good stuff there.

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MEA, I lost my beloved husband of 53 two years ago on Sept. 30 to NSCLC. Your Gift of Grief was very meaningful to me. I try to understand that it is a choice to either bow under the grief or be strong but I seem to be bowing more again under the weight of all that was lost to our family when John died. It is still so overwhelming. I feel, too, that I have lost myself as well. I have lost all confidence and I am so pesimistic. I will keep trying though. Thank you.

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