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Tim's PET scan results tomorrow


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Hi all,

I haven't posted for a long time, and am now trying to catch up. I'm so sick of this disease controlling our life, and trying to pretend that we have a "normal" life, when we don't. I feel helpless when Tim is overly quiet or thoughtful, and when I ask him what's up, he replys that he's thinking about whether he's going to live or die, and that I don't know what it's like. Well, he's right, I don't, and I also don't know how to help or make it better and that's tearing me apart. I'm always the fixer, and I can't fix this!!!!!! And I try to stay strong, but I think about the potential future, and raising 2 boys on my own, plus working in a job that requires a lot of travel, and holding down the household, and it all becomes so overwhelming!

so, anyway, all this emotion comes on the eve before our appointment with the oncologist tomorrow, where we get Tim's latest PET scans, and I have to tell you all that I am nervous and scared, as usual.

I meant this to be a post asking for prayers and positive thoughts for good news tomorrow, but ended up spilling my emotions instead.

Thanks for listening, bless you all.


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