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One month

Nick C

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I tried to post yesterday, and everytime I started I fell apart.

We bought a small garden statue yesterday...an angel.

When we went back to Mom's house the day she died, she had a sign on the front door which my wife pointed at. It said "in the garden". She loved the garden. We think that's where we'll "find" her. So we found a temporary spot for the angel, but when spring comes we'll move her to a more permanent spot surrounded with flowers (no yellow flowers, blue and purple and ones that smell nice).

Damn I miss her. I'm basically writing all this here because a day like yesterday would have ended in a call to Mom to tell her all the work outside I did. I miss being able to make that call.

Mom, I miss you, this has been the longest month of my life.

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the first months felt like a yearlong. Hang in there.

After 10 months I still find myself trying to pick up the phone and calling her. I can tell you after 10 months the pain it still there but you can tolerate it.

I know it's hard, I am speechless, I wish I could say something to take your pain away. One thing I did find helpful the first few months was all the times I wanted to call her I would just write to her.

Hug to you!


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(((Nick))) My heart has flipped and dropped so many times even after 6 months, I know just where you are.

It is a hard road we are walking. My mom loved her garden too, and when there was no answer at the front door I would walk around back and there she might be with her face in the sun. Oh what I would give to go back to that yard.


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Nick, I think placing the angel in your mom's garden was a perfect thing to do! Sometimes, after losing a loved one, we just seem to "know" what special thinks to do. I think your Mom was guiding you through this one!!!

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