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One month


Nick C

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I tried to post yesterday, and everytime I started I fell apart.

We bought a small garden statue yesterday...an angel.

When we went back to Mom's house the day she died, she had a sign on the front door which my wife pointed at. It said "in the garden". She loved the garden. We think that's where we'll "find" her. So we found a temporary spot for the angel, but when spring comes we'll move her to a more permanent spot surrounded with flowers (no yellow flowers, blue and purple and ones that smell nice).

Damn I miss her. I'm basically writing all this here because a day like yesterday would have ended in a call to Mom to tell her all the work outside I did. I miss being able to make that call.

Mom, I miss you, this has been the longest month of my life.

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the first months felt like a yearlong. Hang in there.

After 10 months I still find myself trying to pick up the phone and calling her. I can tell you after 10 months the pain it still there but you can tolerate it.

I know it's hard, I am speechless, I wish I could say something to take your pain away. One thing I did find helpful the first few months was all the times I wanted to call her I would just write to her.

Hug to you!

Martha

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Your mom knows. And she's with you. How could she not? Your posts about her, and staying here to support others in their cancer journey ARE indicitive of the love you have for your mom! And I know that's why it hurts so much.

The angel statue is a wonderful tribute to your mother's memory.

I pray that it brings you comfort in days ahead.

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(((Nick))) My heart has flipped and dropped so many times even after 6 months, I know just where you are.

It is a hard road we are walking. My mom loved her garden too, and when there was no answer at the front door I would walk around back and there she might be with her face in the sun. Oh what I would give to go back to that yard.

Hugs.

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Nick, I think placing the angel in your mom's garden was a perfect thing to do! Sometimes, after losing a loved one, we just seem to "know" what special thinks to do. I think your Mom was guiding you through this one!!!

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