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Very Scared


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My mom is 70 y.o. and has been on oxygen around the clock for severe emphysema for about a year. She had been sleeping all day and vomiting with no appetite and significant weight loss. She finally went to the doc, and MRI revealed what the doctor believes is cancer on the lung, spine and liver. Tomorrow we will find out type of cancer and prognosis. Doc already said her body could not withstand surgery.

The doc put her on pain meds, anti-anxiety and antidepressant meds, along with sleep medication. She sounds very peaceful and just keeps saying, "I'm comfortable, I'm comfortable." It makes me think she would forego treatment. I'm so very, very, very sad. My brother and wife are expecting their first baby 12/4, give or take a few weeks. At least we are both 1-2 hours away from her. It's so hard to concentrate at work . . . .!

We are all just counting the hours until the doc appt tomorrow. She does not want either me or my brother to me there. I am going anyway. She has "protected" us in the past from bad news. We believe it is unfair. I'm going to (gently) insist I be allowed in the room. God bless,


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Hi Beth ~

I am so sorry you find yourself here, but you will be grateful (under the circumstances, anyway... :( )you found this place. LOTS of support, and understanding, as well as valuable info can be found here.

Know that your dear Mom, as well as ALL of your family have entered a powerful circle of prayer/positive thoughts (whichever you prefer :wink: ) - I'll start right now!

I'm glad she has you two close by, and I agree, it IS helpful, to BOTH of you, I believe, if you are present at her appointments. You can "pitch" your presence to her as an "extra ear" since there will likely be a great deal of information for your mom to process, and she may miss something that you catch, etc. Most patients benefit from this, anyway. Hopefully, your mom will understand, too, that ignorance is NOT always bliss!! Especially in these circumstances, and the BEST way to reduce your worries is to let you be an ACTIVE participant & advocate on her behalf.

I hope your Mom's docs will have the wisdom to guide her in the right path for a positive outcome. And peace, and strength to your Mom, (AND your family!!!) whatEVER path she chooses. (((HUGS)))

Yours in HOPE!!


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Hello Beth and welcome

As Stacey has pointed out this is a wonderful source of information, support and hope!

Please let us know how we can help you and your Mom and know that we are all here to make this easier on you.

Keep us posted as you can,

My best to you and your family


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Thank you all for your kind thoughts. :D She is allowing my Dad and aunt in the room with her, but she has been known to "instruct" people (my Dad mainly) to withhold info from me and my brother in the past, even though we are in our 40s! My aunt promised me that she would let me know exactly what the doc says if my mom won't let me in the room.

Either way, we will know much more tomorrow hopefully. Thanks again for prayers, etc. It means a lot to me. I will post soon.


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i understand you are scared. I was diagnosed with lung cancer. Where it is located they cannot operate because of blood vessels and veins. When they diagnosed me the first thing i thought to myself was how am i going to tell my daugther. As a parent we protecet our kids from bad news when they are little. But I relaized that you are always are kids and we are always going to protect you. I know when my doctor told me my diagnose I was glad my daughter wasn't there. First of all I had to let it sink in myself. Then I cryed and I was just gald she wasn't

there to see my like that. Let your mom have her moment by herself first, then go to her.

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Your mom may be able to be treated successfully without surgery. I had only chemo and I am now cancer free. My quality of life during chemo was as good as or better than before I was diagnosed. You mom may not have a bad reaction to chemo. Tarceva and Avastin have fewer side effects than traditional chemo. I had both traditional and Tarceva and I never had a sick day. It’s important that your mom knows the options that may cure her. Keep us posted.

Stay positive,


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