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Why do we come back


cathy

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Why do you think we keep coming back? I was reading Christina's post and I think many times I need to delete this website from my favorites. I have this idea that if I do this I will also be able to move on. At this point I am not even sure what moving on is. Does it mean trying to forget all the sadness LC has brought to me and my family and everyone here? So if I delete this site will it all go away? Sometimes I think I need to stick around just in case I get LC.

Do you think it is healthy for us to stay? I personally feel I dont have to much to offer because I cant read many of the posts, my heart really breaks for all who are going through this and the memories are so painful. I feel stuck in the the grieving forum because right now its all I know. I would like to give as much as I receive from here, so really that leads me back to my first question. Why do we come back?

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Maybe you come back because you have become "Champions" of Lung Cancer, you were with someone that lost the fight yet still hold hope for those still fighting...

Maybe you come back because you have need to see where everyone you aligned with is in their battles and you can still see your loved one in each battle being fought...

Maybe you come back because of the people here becoming an extended family that you don't want to abandon in THEIR time of need, as no one abandoned you...

Maybe you come back because you still need to feel part of the fight, that you still want to win, even if it's too late for those you were originally fighting for...

Maybe you come back to try to understand "Why?"...

Maybe coming back is helping you to heal, and moving on doesn't have to be about moving away...

...and maybe, you come back because you know you'll always be welcome.

Peace,

Becky

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Dear Cathy,

First I want to say, I one am very glad you come back. There are plenty of days that I think about not visiting, because I feel if I "ignore" the things that are happening here then maybe they won't happen to my mom. Then I realize that nothing would ever get done if I just buried my head in the sand.

I remember the first day of when I found out about my mom's diagnosis. I felt so very lost, scared and really in need of some support. There were no lung cancer support groups I could find and having a baby it made it difficult to get out anyways. So I did a search and found this group of amazing people. Everyone here saved my sanity.

Now I feel there are days when it is my turn to help someone who has just found out about their loved one and are feeling lost.

Right now you are grieving and are overwhelmed with the lung cancer and all the awfulness it brings. But you are a loving, caring and kind human being who has so much to offer those of us that still are going through this each day. It takes strength to come back and I admire that strength. It shows us that even though lung cancer has affected us, you are still able to hold the beauty of life.

I don't know if I really have answered your question, but basically I want you to know I am glad you come back. It means more to me than you know.

All my best,

Andrea

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Becky, very well said! I was thinking of what to say, and you said it. I have had two bouts with prostate cancer and won both battles. I went to a prostate info and support site right after the first bout and stayed several years. Then I dropped out to move on. Just before the second bout, I went back on to give hope to others, and then dropped away again during the second bout. I am presently back again, there to bring hope to new people.

I agree, that whatever the reason, you all are most welcome here, and I hope you will remain as long as it is mutually beneficial in your hearts. Don

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Cathy

I think you come back because you know you are always welcome here. We are all your friends even though we have never met "in person". I think you come back because you know we care about you.

I think you should keep coming back as long as this site offers you some measure of comfort. Whatever gets you through, go with it.

When I lost my parents quite a few years ago there was no internet at all. How I wish there had been something like this back then.

When I was diagnosed I was totally lost and adrift between grief and anxiety. A short time later I found this site and it made such a difference to me. No it could not help to cure my disease but it could offer me comfort and give me the opportunity to learn about my disease and how other survivors were coping with the same disease.

This board is a home, a haven, a place to come and air our fears,sorrow, anxieties, and sometimes even our joy.

I am so glad that you have chosen to come back Cathy, you have a lot to offer all of us. You have understanding and compassion and knowledge about what we are going through. I think your Dad would be happy to know that you were coming back

Bess B

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Cathy,

I do know why I keep coming back to this site. It is because I care about what happens to the people here, and I want to see someone kick cancers a___. I do not post but I follow people's stories and I understand what a positive outlet this website is for people.

God's blessings to you all,

Mary

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Perhaps we all keep coming back because each and every one of us are lung cancer surviors. While we all have different roles to play, different "details" to our experiences with this horrible disease, I know I am affected by each and every post I read here. We give support, we receive support, and go on doing the best we can.

Allison

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We come back because this website and those we love here still tie us to the memories of our loved ones. Everytime I click this screen open, I remember my dad, my fierce need to "do something" about the cancer, to "make a difference" etc..to help my dad in some way. Now we are scrambling and struggling to help ourselves and those we love here who are in the middle of the battle and this is our "safe" place. Everyone here understands.

When we begin to "heal", I'm sure we will choose different paths, different ways to cope, some will stay, some will not. When I asked Rick to develop this message board last year, my path was created for me. I'm not going anywhere. And when I begin to heal, I will shout and scream until the world listens. Lung Cancer must be recognized, more research, more funding, more treatment options, more people working towards a cure. People with really BIG mouths can make a difference....

maybe that's me. 8)

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Although I lost Dennis in December, coming to this board still, in some strange way, helps to keep all memories of him more alive. I know that sounds very strange but I remember how things were when I first found this board. I remember how very kind so many people were to me and how much help and encouragement they gave. I feel that here, Dennis is more than just a memory. He is one of many brave warriors that lived ...and died...fighting an unseen demon. I hope that I can help others that are just now experiencing what came my way nine months ago. Like Katie said...big mouths can make a difference. I have a big mouth when it comes to my intense hatred for this dreaded disease. I do want to make a difference!!!!

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Cathy,

Look I'm still here as well and I think that your question has been answered by everyone before me. I have wondered the same thing but I am emotionally tied to the members of this board. I don't spend as much time here as I once did but I have found another message board where I post. This site did get me addicted to the computer though. Last week I went to the doctor for one of my "aches" this one is in my arm, my elbow. Doctor says tennis elbow, and I know it's from over extending my arm on the mouse :oops: I have not told my husband why I have it though. :lol:

You guys are my extended family and for me coming to this site has helped me so much. I have lots of brothers and sisters, several moms and a dad!

Thanks so much for blessing my life.

Hugs, Shelly

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Cathy,

I know how you feel. I too keep coming back. I think I am still dealing with that monster cancer. The people here have been wonderful to me, to help me understand. I sometimes wonder if, in some small way, a prayer, a hope and a thought from me will help someone else to cope, and to keep my mother's spirit alive in me to live what she taught me about caring. I know I don't have anything to say about treatments anymore, and so I try to give support where I can. Greiving is what we know now and talking with you and you listening to me, I am hoping that we can draw strenght from each other here, because we all have a common bond and have developed a kinship with the people here and we care. I think you keep coming back because you care too. Sorry for rambling on, Cathy, but you being here helps me and a lot of others get through the day. Remember that.

Dona

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Everything that all of you say makes sense. It warms my heart to think that you feel I have something to offer. I remember those first few weeks all to well when dad was diagnosed. I also remember finding LCSC and thinking, so there are survivors, real people that have beat this monster. Hope is what gave me strength to help my dad through it. I had hope until dads last breath and I still have hope for everyone here. I do HOPE that I can heal and maybe be able to offer something soon. Thank You my friends for being there for me.

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I think you keep coming back because you are such a kindhearted person that with all you are going through, you still want to check on everyone else, and see how theyre doing. Its amazing how much you can feel for cyber friends. I know I think about a lot of you during my day. When I come here at night I'll hope there's an update on news we've been waiting for, good news from someone who's been waiting for some, etc.

We care about you, Cathy, and you care about us. I think thats why you come back.

With Love,

Linda

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As I read over the responses, I came to realize that all who responded, to this point, are caregivers or family members.

Now here is the resonse of an actual survivor, and one who has been quite active on this website.

To all of you, we survivors care. You give us hope. We know that not all of us are going to beat this disease, but we care about surviving. You who have lost a loved one to lung cancer have so much more to offer, you don't realize how important you are to this message board. You can relate. You can compare. You can offer hope. You offer much love.

We may trigger memories of what was, but that is not intentional. We may mention something that is happening to us, and you may have experienced that with your loved one. You can help us cope with what we are experiencing. You can take away pain. You can tell us how your loved one coped with the same thing.

You have so much to offer, please stay with us and for us.

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Cathy,

I hope you keep coming back because you know we care about you, and because you care about us, and because when the acute sense of loss you feel eases you will continue to advocate for those of us who are surviving now, and those who will be diagnosed today and in the future. You have experience that no one wishes to have had, but is worth it's weight in research dollars if you are able to continue advocating for us when your heart mends a little. No one expects it of you. We can only hope that you will. See, the survival statistics are bad...and so we HAVE to rely on the surviving caregivers...there are so many more of you.

Much affection,

Fay A.

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Linda, Fay, Dave, Becky,

Thank you for the kind words..I think the more I start posting the easier it will get. I dont think I ever would leave because I have met some very wonderful and brave people... Its hard to type through the tears, I really just wanted to say thanks.

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Plain and simple...We still need you... We have all been here for each other since the begining of our troubles.. its sad to not hear from any of you anymore.! I worry that when people lose a loved one that means they will leave to and not be here anymore to help me..or us.. We are in this together still right?

Chrsity

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