After Everything LC, Why Is THIS So Hard For Me To Do?

[Linda661]

I've been a mess for two days now and just haven't slept well -- looks like I'm gonna' have to put my two horses down.....Mom's horses.

It's not easy to explain all the details of what's been up with those horses, but they are both insulin resistant and one has Cushings disease as well. What this does to a horse is make them prone to foot problems (laminitis/founder) among other things. This all started years ago, and just like LC, it took lots of research and hard work to do everything possible to stabilize them and keep them from getting into this kind of trouble over and over again. It's a battle that never ends, just like LC. Also like LC, insulin resistance in horses is not well understood or recognized as existing nor is there much research out about it -- it's not even known as an important issue by most vets or farriers. The individual is left to fight this fight too on their own for the sake of their animals, basically.

Unfortunately, I've lost this battle too -- they've both foundered despite my years of efforts. One of them we knew we would likely have to put down sometime just before mom got her LC dx, but the second one...no, she appeared to be doing well and to have a future...until 2 days ago. I had put myself deeply into this battle over the years because they were mom's life passion and she had been so distraught when all this started; she didn't know what to do or where to look, so I found out and kept up on the new developments.....she had hope, because of that ......

I pretty much know I'm gonna' have to do it, unless something drastic changes about the reports I got just before my vet went out of town for next two weeks. There's no chance I see that anyone else is going to want them like I was hoping for either (I can't afford to keep them long-term). Everything known to do hasn't been enough. But I REALLY don't want to do this and for sure don't even want to be here for that event -- I don't think I could handle it.

Let's see, losing dad & mom, even my last 2 chickens and 1 cat in the last 2 years....now this. Can't anything around me just turn around for the better anymore? Best not to trundle down that line of thinking too far in my head about now.....

Thanks for letting me get this out. I find it strange that I managed to weather all that loss pretty well, all things considered. Why fall apart now?

Linda

[EastCoastLadi]

(((Linda)))

I'm so so sorry. I can just imagine what heartache you are going thru. You've done all you can do. Please know I'm here for you..

Grace

[cindi o'h]

I am just so sorry and sad that this is on your plate right now. You are right. It does get to be too much.

Horses are so dear and sweet big-eyed babies. It's definitely all right to fall apart. The pieces will come back together for you. (they always do somehow don't they?)

Empathetic hugs.

Cindi o'h

[RandyW]

I am so sorry to hear this news. Wish I could do something besides send Prayers for you and the family and the horses also. Much love and peace tonite.

[sharyn]

Dearest Linda,

To answer your question? Why fall apart now? Simply because, you did handle all the other losses... one can only take so much, and you have had more than your fair share. I am so sorry you have to make this decision. Horses are beautiful creatures, and I imagine, in his infinite wisdom, God has a place for them in heaven also (maybe Mom will get to ride again!). Love, Sharon

[Don Wood]

So, so sorry.

[MsC1210]

Linda

I am so sorry about this latest heartache. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers,

Chris

[karen335]

Linda,

Sending you prayers for the pain you have endured. Losing a parent, now your beloved animals. I too went throught heartache with the loss last year of my precious baby doll kitty of 8 yrs and silky terrier girl of 12 yrs..

Sending you lot's of hugs and peace in your heart..

Karen

[Mskim]

Linda I am so sorry... this is another HUGE loss, this connection you had to your mom, an end to a form of honoring her memory. I can't imagine how hard it must be.

I am praying for your broken heart.

[Maryanne]

Oh Linda, Iam so sorry you are facing another tragedy. You have been through so much, now this. But you got to do what you got to do.

Just know that I am thinking of you and sending you healing prayers for strength.

You know we are always here for you, you can vent anytime as you know we have big shoulders to help you get through this.

Maryanne

[patut]

((((((((((((((Linda)))))))))))))))))

It's so hard. Each new thing that comes along does that to me. Here's to all of us on this Thanksgiving 2006.

Cyndy

[dihen]

{{{Linda}}} I'm sorry that you have to face more loss and pain, and can only hope that things begin to get better for you!! You are in my thoughts and prayers...

[sharonjo]

Linda,

I am so sorry you have to go through yet another heartache. Please know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless,

Sharon