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Mom passed on 11/6


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It's hard for me to talk about details....but mom passed on 11/6. She just really went downhill the last week and fast. She finally accepted a catheter on the 2nd as she was in horrible pain when I would roll her to change her, I can't even tell you much I cried when I would move her. She passed peacefully after she finally accepted liquid morphine the morning of the 6th (wasn't making any sense verbally) and passed that night at 7:56pm. She had been struggling to breathe that day (even though we were giving her oxygen), and calmed down when I gave her the scheduled dose of morphine at 7:30pm. I was there but stepped out of the room for about 30 seconds after she seemed to be sleeping (hospice nurse told me that day that it would be maybe less than a week, so I had no idea it would be that night). I came back in and she was gone. She was absolutely wonderful/sweet/kind/loving to me the last week or two, which made it more difficult....but I'm so thankful for that. That morning she was hot (kept going back and forth from hot to cold) and I kept putting cold washcloths on her forehead and the only time she was making sense is when I could put the washcloth on her head and she would say, "Oh Stephie, that feels so good." Makes me smile to think of her saying that. She looked at me and said, "i'm dying honey." Those were the only times she was making sense that last 2 days. I guess she knew better than the nurses.

AND, you all were right, I have no regrets and am glad that I stuck through it with her.

Her wake and funeral were lovely and I think she would be happy with it all. I found a sheet where she had wrote 'songs I want played at my wake." So a friend of mine put them all on CD. I miss her...even through it all. I remember when I was a little girl and when I would leave for school she used to say 'Open your pocket." I'd open my pocket up and she's stick her hand in my pocket and would say, "i've put a little love in your pocket. If you get lonely, you just pat your little hand on your pocket and remember the love I put in there." She was a good mommy! :)

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I'm very sorry about your mom, I know the difficulties that you had been having over the past several weeks. I hope that you can take some comfort in knowing that your being there for your mom was the best thing that she experienced in her final moments. My prayers go out to you, please know we're here for you....


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