j's girl Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 It's been almost 3 months since I lost my Mom. She died fairly suddenly and unexpectedly. This is the most difficult thing I've ever dealt with and I just don't feel like I'm getting the support I need from my husband. I'm not even sure what I should expect from him. All I know for sure is that whenever I try to talk to him about it, he gets defensive and it ends in an arguement. It's gotten to the point where I don't even try anymore. I'm keeping it all bottled up and am in the midst of a ulcerative colitis flair up. Stress has a huge effect on it. Through out Mom's illness I somehow managed to stay healthy. I just feel so alone. Shauna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Shauna, many men have a hard time dealing with these matters, sometimes even talking about them. You need an outlet for your emotions, so I hope you have a friend who can be a listener for you. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 http://www.ywbb.org/forums/ubbthreads.php?Cat=0 Please at least look at this site. I use it on occasion for things. It may help in this part of the journey of life at least for th grieving issues. Yes we men are tough about death and talking about it. We do hate to let our guard down and showing the human side by crying. Most will stick with crying is a sign of weakness. Well I must be a piece of cooked spaghetti cause I cry a lot. Sending prayers for strength and support.Wish there was more i could do for you, But I can always listen when you need someone to talk to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda661 Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Shauna: I'm sorry you're having a difficult time right now. That alone feeling is one of the most uncomfortable places to be inside..... . Your husband can never give to you what you don't first know you need for him to do, no one can (that goes for friends, coworkers, other family members too). When we know we have needs, but we don't know how to tell others how to support us, it just seems to end in frustration and aloneness. I would encourage you to try and talk with someone else as well....someone who might help you put into words what your needs are so you can break the cycle of things ending in arguement all the time. Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 Shauna, I am SO sorry. I will confess, if the roles were reversed, I couldn't have possibly been understanding enough for my wife. Just because I didn't know. I didn't get it. Before it happened to me. I would have tried, just don't think I would have been quite good enough. Is there group grief counseling somewhere in your town? Do you have access to individual counseling through insurance...maybe if you go, and get him to go, maybe he'll witness your pain in that setting and get it? Either way, know we are here to support you. I too feel alone at times... we lost our mothers...I think it must just be the way folks feel at times like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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