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I am thankful but sad


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I am sure I am joined by hundreds of people from this website and millions around the world when I say that the closer that tomorrow comes, the more sad I become. My SF and brother are with his family this Thanksgiving. John's family will be here with me and I will have not one person from my family here. It is breaking my heart. It is too much reality-no mom, no family, no cornbread dressing and it makes me so sad. Even the parade will be sad tomorrow, as that is the thing mom and I loved to have on while we were cooking.

I am trying to focus on being thankful that I will be with my precious children all day long. I hope we stay in our jammies all day and snuggle.

I love you all. I really do. I recently got the courage to go through and read all of my posts over the years and it was so apparent how YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT got me through. I am thankful for all of you.

I really am. Please say a quick prayer for me to be able to make it through this first holiday without my beautiful mama. :cry:

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You have my prayers and my understanding. This is my first without Mike and my heart is broken. I am trying to visualize your mama, my Mike and all the other missing loved ones sitting at God's huge thanksgiving dinner and smiling down on us. God Bless Lori, and yes you have reminded me of something I truly want to say. Thank you and I am so very thankful to everyone at this site for the support they gave me and still give me. Love you all.



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I will be praying for you and all on this holiday.

It will be hard. This was OUR holiday. Can't believe she isn't here.

Everytime I walked in the door, mom would have a spoonful of stuffing (technically dressing because she did it in the pan) and her eyes would get all squintty and she'd say "Try some stuffing?!"

Everytime I reached in to oven to take out the bird, "Don't hurt your back!". :lol:

I'll be missing her so badly BUT will take the hand I've been dealt this year and make some new traditions, give thanks for the past year...because there was still plenty to be thankful for...and remember her throughout the day. I'll be da&$ed if I don't have a thanksgiving she'd be proud of.

I went to her house and grabbed her wine glass. I will pour some Cavit Pinot Grigio (her fav) and have it with me on my kitchen counter as I cook, that way she can be with me. I'll make her stuffing this year, and ask Keri if she wants to try...I'll be on mom's side of the spoon.

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Good point Nick. I have entertained the idea of calling SF to ask him how to make the cornbread stuffing, but I have been his rock lately and I guess I don't want to bring him down to where I am right now as he spends time with his family. I could not just call and pretend I am gettng the recipe. I'd lose it. He cries all of the time (regret, I dunno??), but I just boast about how proud I am of us for taking care of her and he continues to cry, but it helps to remind him of that.

Anyway, maybe next year I will make the cornbread dressing, but not this year. Not meant to be.

You are such a cool person. I appreciate all of your heartfelt posts...

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Dearest Lori:

However tomorrow goes....cornbread stuffing or not, it's gonna' be OK, many potential tears and all -- let 'em flow girl, time to heal now and well, 'ya know, healing doesn't follow a calendar of those darn scheduled holidays.

Love 'ya bunches and all the best to you. You are one of those special few who I got to "know" since I came here.....who worked so, so hard in this journey that it tore at the core of me when your momma had to leave you. You have been my mentor in so many ways when I felt so weak in my own journey.......we'll both be fine, gently and gradually now.

All the best,


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Oh Lori,

I so understand...this the first holiday....I have also been filled with dread. I go over in my mind last years holidays with my Dad...I knew he wouldnt be here this year....I tried so hard to make everything special. There are so many of us here that will have our first holiday tomorrow.........I am praying for all of us. I want to make it a nice day for my kids but we all feel this empty feeling. Right now I have my Dads house on the market....I have no idea why I feel overwhelmed to go there tomorrow and put a little tree up, lights etc. I dont want to do it at my home...I am sure my brothers all think I am a bit crazy, but I find comfort doing things in his house. I will be thinking of you tomorrow Lori


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Lori...My heart breaks for you..I feel your pain..Lately I just wish the holidays go away..The days I used to cherish are just not the same with out my brother Mark..

I look forward to the day, I will see him again..

Try to be strong and keep posting..As Katie said, your fsmily is here and all willing to help..

God Bless You,


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Hi Lori,

Just letting you know that I am thinking of you and praying the holidays were not too hard on you. You were with your beautiful family and for that I know how thankful you are.

I know how hard that must have been as I remember my first without my mom. The firsts of everything is so hard.


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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's been quite a while since I have been to the boards. It looks as though we lost our mothers within a month of each other.

I decided that I didn't want to celebrate Thanksgiving this year. It's not really about being a "scrooge" , but I just want to go about as any other normal day. These next few holidays will be the most difficult for us. Stay strong and try to surround yourself with family when possible. I remember how incredibly supportive and loving you were with your mother from previous posts. Please take care of yourself and remember what gifts our mothers gave to us.

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Dear Lori, and Eni123...I am so very sorry to hear about your dear mothers..I never realized you both lost your mothers so close to the holiday..

I am so sorry..

The holidays are so sad, yet we have to go on for the rest of our loved ones..I try to remember that..it is not an easy task..

I would love to sleep Christmas & New years away, but I know I have family that needs me to be strong..

I hurt for both of you, as I know the feelings you are feeling..

Please know, you are in my prayers..I pray each day for all of us here, that The Good Lord gives us peace and strength and they find a cure for this THIEF that takes all our loved ones!!

I am so sorry for your losses..

Donna :cry:

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