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Nice title for this topic, huh?

So, I wake up this morning at 4AM as I usually do only to find that I have a stinking ache in my lower back. I've had lower back problems for about 25 years ever since I decided to lift a flagstone that was clearly too heavy. Anyway, I make myself a cup of coffee and by 4:20AM I'm outside enjoying a cigarette (so shoot me) and admiring the Belt of Orion, which happens to be right in front of me -- we're lucky enough to live on the ridge of a very high hill with a spectacular view (beside the point, but whatever). So, I'm staring at the stars thinking about absolutely nothing ... then I feel this weird sensation in my abdomen, like it's beating. I then check my heart rate and, sure enough, the beating in my stomach is in rythm with my heart. Never had this feeling before. Must be the cancer. A moment's uneasy thought, then I get it -- I'm about to have a heart attack. Of course, the heart attack never came but I did have to stand up because the beating in my stomach was so damn strange and uncomfortable. I had another cigarette ... what the hell!

My wife, Teri, gets up about 5:30AM and finds me outside smoking. She asks me how I am and I tell her that my back is about to go out again, otherwise I'm feeling just fine -- which was the truth (as we have a pact never to lie about anything).

About 7:30AM, after forcing me to drink and eat all the right stuff (as she does every morning), Teri goes off to earn some cash for us. It's daylight now and the stars have melted away, so I go and get a bath, hoping that a good soak will ease my back problem. I'm only in there for about 15 minutes, so it's not one of those 2 hour relaxation sessions. Anyway, I get out of the bath and as I'm toweling myself down the oddest feeling came over me. No backache, no headache, no wheezing, no twitches ... and a burst of energy that I haven't felt in a very long time. What the heck's going on? Then I figured it out -- the cancer has gone, just like that ... poof!

But hang on a minute. That isn't possible. OH YES IT IS, I said to myself. I have no symptoms -- nothing. I feel healthy, happy, almost elated. Conclusion? No cancer. Now where it went, I have no idea (as long as it didn't invade someone else). But it's not inside me anymore, and I ain't arguing with that.

Now will it come back tomorrow? Quite possibly. But for today I am totally cancer-free and it feels terrific. So good, in fact, that all the work I was supposed to do today can fall by the wayside. I'm doing nothing -- nada, except making a few phone calls, admiring the view, and playing with our Great Dane, Mrs. Dickens. Hell, I might even take her for a walk through the hills -- I know my lungs can take it :D

Will I be cancer-free tomorrow? Dunno. Today is all that matters.


Someone asked me if I had anymore stories like the two I posted. At first I thought not, then I remembered my ex-wife's mother. When we were in England a couple of months ago, we had something of a family get-together (yes, my wife and I are very good friends with my ex-wife). My ex-wife's mother, Sheila, was there. She's about 72 or 73 now. Seven or eight years ago she came down with a very serious case of cancer -- one of those deals where they give you about three and a half minutes to live. Unless we were having dinner with a ghost, clearly Sheila is still alive. But not only that, let me tell you she has the energy of a bloody teenager. Her energy was astonishing. She also looked a darn sight younger than her years. And all that success on the National Health Service :D

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Jen -- thanks for the compliment, but I'm really not here to impress anyone with my writing ability -- sometimes it's good, sometimes it sucks. But that's what I've been doing since the age of 12 and I can't change it. The reason I've been writing so much lately has been more for myself than anyone else -- selfish, huh? And I always knew I ran the risk of some people thinking I'm trying to be too smart for my own good. But that's okay. The simple fact is I'm in the same boat as anyone else here that is dealing with this insidious disease ... and it's my way of making sure the boat stays afloat. The posts I've read here have been awesome and they've helped me immensely. I'm just trying to give something back, and you can be sure that everything I write or have written is based in fact and /or personal experience ... not fantasy, denial or blind faith. I also try to throw in a little humour where I can because if there's one thing we all need is a giggle :D

Sharon -- positive thinking is critical, but I do think there's something even more important, and that's BELIEF. You can think positive 'til the cows come home but if you don't believe they're coming home then they won't. Always believe in yourself and always believe your spirit can have incredible consequences in the physical world. Just go to any roulette table in Vegas with $20, choose just one number then place $1 on that number ... now BELIEVE that number will come in for you. Stand there for 20 spins and I can (almost) guarantee your number will come in before the twentieth spin -- hence a minimum profit of $15. Don't believe me? A couple of years ago they closed down a roulette table on me at the Stardust ... but then I was betting just a little more than $1 (another of my bad habits). Of course, the opposite is also true -- think you're going to lose and you will.


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Yo Bill,

Your a breath of fresh air here. I know you don't want to hear that as "it is what it is" :D

Two more incidents today, my son just used that expression today when he found out to fix his car would cost $368.00 :shock: and in one of my stores one of the workers was upset as the manager was on his back and he said to me "it is what it is". So now I am starting to get use to that expression :roll: Just seems like its coming out of the woodwork lately oh well "it is what it is" I guess :lol:

Anyway I look forword to reading your post, you make me smile, and as they say "laugher is the best medicine". I am so glad you joined our group.

Maryanne :wink:

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Feeling the cancer leave your body is a good thing. It’s going to leave so why shouldn’t you feel it.

I used to lay awake and feel the cancer being pulled from me bit by bit. The night before my first check up after starting chemo I could feel the fluid being drained from my body as a thought came to me that it was half way gone. The next day the oncologist made an indication with his fingers that it was half gone. God does good work. So keep feeling the cancer leave and let’s pray that it doesn’t return.

Stay positive, :lol:


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