a bad anniversary

[Martha02]

A year ago today I called 911. My mom couldn't breath.

I panicked, I couldn't work the Oxygen tank. She just started Oxygen 2 weeks prior. From there it all went down hill. I really don't know how to feel right now reliving that nightmare. I remember crying so hard that my face was burning. The first diagnose was horrible, it was that her diaphragm collapse so her intestine went into the lung. And she just had a few hrs. Then after hrs of agony they just told us that the lung collapse it wasn't the intestine in there. She got transferred to intensive care where they took fluid out of the lung to see if it inflated itself. I remember the fear in my mom’s eyes it was 6 weeks of crying, hoping that a miracle would happen. I remember when the doctors told me that this was the end. Who wants to hear that, it's my mom you are talking about she is invincible. She had survived 2 years of a 6 months diagnose.I am sorry to go on and on. I just feel so empty today. This is my first Christmas without her and my heart is just so broken.

I know we are all in pain for the lost of our love ones. That's why I know you do know what I am going through right now!

Thank you!

Martha

[Kasey]

I am sorry, Martha. I remember only too well my first Christmas without my mother.....and that was 21 years ago. The pain will ease, but Christmas is especially hard, I know. Thinking of you.

Kasey

[mamasbabygirl]

I am having the kind of day where I wish I could just sit this one out all together. I understand. It hurts. I want my mama.

[Nick C]

Martha, I too remember crying so much I broke bloodvessels around my eyes.

I know the holidays are here and I understand your sadness facing them without Mom. I can hear what myu mom would say. "I know you are sad this year, and that's OK" We aren't supposed to enjoy this one.

I know the milestones stink.