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just curious....


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This probably isn't the right forum to ask this but I'm curious. I pray that no one takes offense.........

During my illness and now beyond I have heard people utter the most rude, utterly stupid, or insensitive remarks... also the kindest and niciest things too. A few stick in my mind that I just can't seem to shake. While i harbor no grudge against anyone to this day it just amazes me the things people will say. Have any of you ever heard a totally off the wall or insensitive remark sometimes made in passing that still amazes you? Or perhaps a stranger gave you a word of hope? Here are my "special ones"...

1) When i was first diagnosed I call my local chapter of the American cancer society. i told her lung cancer and asked for a support group. she kept talking to me about breast cancer groups which I couldn't join. Finally I said to her again that I was talking about LUNG cancer and did she have a support group. Her answer? "sorry, lung cancer patients don't live long enough to form a group".........

2) After a year and a half of fighting with my HMO I was finally referred to another surgeon for a 2nd opinion. He told me I must first have a PET scan. His reasoning? "Personally, I think you have other cancer spots that the people in these HICK hospitals you've been going to have missed on their scans and if this PET scan shows something I won't operate because frankly YOU'RE NOT WORTH MY TIME......


3) when my first surgeon told me my cancer was inoperable he sat on my bed with tears in his eyes when he told me. Then he gave me a hug and said "kid, you're young and you're tough. somehow you'll get through this. I know you will. You'll find a way to survive-just don't give up"

If I live to be a 100 I'll never forget both the good and the bad.

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OH MY GOODNESS!! Im so sorry you were told those things!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know what you mean about insensitivity, some people dont mean it. When my father had lymphoma people would respond with "oh Ive heard thats very curable," or "what exactly is that". Now when I say my father has lung cancer they look at me with "that look" and say "Oh Im so sorry".

A neighbor said to me when she heard "Oh thats a horrible one".

But......then there are some that just say "I'll say a prayer, and if you need anything let me know" THATS WHAT I WILL SAY TO PEOPLE IN THE FUTURE!!!

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