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My gut says my mom is not going to "rally"


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Saw my mom this weekend, after round 2 of chemo. Hadn't seen her since Thanksgiving. Oh gosh, she seems to be getting worse. I know the chemo makes you tired, but she is just so weak that she can hardly walk. She can't dress or bath herself. We shaved her head, and she looks beautiful!

She is/used to be a very sharp, intelligent woman and an avid reader - - now she says she can only do "light" reading because she can't process more complicated reading. You can tell in talking to her that it is taking her longer to process what you're saying. Sometimes she seems confused. At least she is forcing herself to eat a little.

My poor frail mom. Next week they're doing scans I guess. My gut tells me the doc will recommend stopping treatment, but who knows. Maybe my fear is just getting the best of me? But her quality of life is so poor. She's been "watching" church on t.v. everyday now. My Dad is really starting to be in an angry mood. Now I'm just rambling.

I just posted this because I know it's not good to stuff my feelings. I hope she will just fight hard and hang on to see her grandchild in a cute little Xmas eve get-up . . . ! When I pray, I try to remember to ask that his His will, not mine, be done. I just had a good cry, so now I can get some work done hopefully. Peace,


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I am sorry to here what you are going through. Its really hard to see someone you love feel so poorly. I know you are discouraged, but you can't worry too much about her "rallying". Chemo can have some really rough side effects and can be hard to deal with. If your Mom is having weakness from not eating, she could try drinking boost or ensure? Also, how about a book on tape for her to listen/read to? It is important to keep her spirits up...and i'm sure that adorable grandbaby makes her very happy. You are in my thoughts and prayers.


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OH Beth, please, please, keep the faith. It is amazing how frail chemo can make a person. My dad lost 40 pounds, sat in a chair all day, and lived on various meds for side affects...the man who never set prior to cancer, nor did he ever take a med. Now, he is in remission, gaining strength daily, and has made it through.

Bless you,


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All i can offer you is Prayer and a short story of a man my wife and i met who was being treated for a Cancer there was no known cure for and he was being treated with different treatment's hoping to find the right combination.He felt so bad that one time he was going to tell the Doctor's to stop Treatment and let him die. That was about a year ago and today he is Cancer free. I do not remember the name of his cancer but initial DX was he had maybe 3 week's to live. I believe you can read his story in our Newspaper Archive's if your interested and i'll gladly give you the web site if your interested....Larry

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The chemo WILL run you down. I am one who was working 12 hr shifts in the ER one day and 1 week later had my first chemo treatment.

I never was able to return to the 12 hr shifts, I did do 6 hr ones a few yrs later then the Ca came back and the second yr of chemo etc made my decision not to work again.

Hang on and keep telling her about those grandkids!!

I have 2 married now and I keep saying i want gtandkids-nothing yet!!


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It's so tough to be away from your ill loved one and then see them "suddenly" changed. When you live with them every day it is not so noticeable. That is a shock for you. As others have said, chemo can make a person a little shell of their former selves.

Our lung specialist told me a few weeks ago that when she saw Tony last May she figured he only had 1-2 weeks left to live because he was soooo out of it and looking bad. Now she just smiles at how he has triumphed and keeps fighting this beast. Frankly, I thought I was going to lose him about that time also, but in reality his cancer was as gone as it has ever been and it was totally the long runs of chemo that had him so sick. He knew it was the chemo doing this to him, but the family & I didn't see it.

Ramble away dear, that is what we are here for. And don't be too hard on your Dad, as fear turns into anger a lot. Maybe he needs to be on an anti-depressant to preserve his sanity as a caretaker.

Best wishes for better days ahead for your Mom and family.


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