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Chicken Soup for the Soul


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I'm plagirizing and not doing it well. So my husband says I can't retell stories well, but......

So it's the last day of your life, who would you want to see and what would you say? Write it down on a piece of paper and give it to that person/persons.

And why are you waiting???

This whole cancer thing sucks *ss (sorry for the cuss word but I couldn't think of another one). I suppose we can look at it as an opportuinty to become closer to God, Karma, etc...... I hear many folks on this site who do just that. That was my hope for my mother. I thought, if once if in her life, she could live unapologetically, and feel good, then it would be worth it, but she hasn't.

She's been blessed with a successful physical outcome with surgery, but mentally the rest is up to her. She is lost. I feel so bad for her and am so angry at the same time. I don't know how I should be. I don't even know where to start. I don't want her to feel overwhelmed or be insensitive to her situtation but, GOOD GOD!!!!!!, what should I do? She's physically successful but is feeling extremely depressed and hopeless.

I hate to even write this. She, at this point in time, is ABSOLUTELY AS GOOD AS THE DOCTORS COULD EXPECT!! (got it all, margines clear, breathe on her own, 63, on work leave, with insurance, healthy otherwise). Now she's experiencing depression and not willing to do much about it. Had she made a turn, I'd understand it. This is the way she's lived her life but now she has an excuse to fall back on if she choosees.


One funny thing. God bless the nurses. She made no friends there. I was the spawn (sp?) of the devil and there was a conspiracy theory there.

I know I'm just rambling, and I don't do well on this site when I do, but I just need a little help so I can be good to my mom!


Dan Rather

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It may be time to tell mom the truth. Being a survivor she has a message to tell, her God to thank and family and friends to thank for their thoughts and prayers. Give her pencil and paper to write her thoughts on. Take her to a cancer ward to see those less fortunate and in need of prayer. How about a pastor visit to kick start her? I'm new to this and no expert so how about some input from the rest of you?

Have you ever heard the phrase, " be careful what you pray (wish ) for? The moral of the story is not to ask for what you what for your mom but, ask God for what is best for her. It was a hard lesson to learn for me but that's another story. Hope to have helped. Sorry if I didn't.

God Bless, Dave W.

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It is not unusual to be depressed after being diagnosed with cancer, even if the outcome is good. It is a jolt to be counted among the survivors because we would rather not have had to deal with cancer at all. It is like our bodies have betrayed us and our image of ourselves as perfectly healthy is destroyed. I was diagnosed 8 years ago with prostate cancer, and although the treatment left me clear, six months later I was depressed, and couldn't help anyone. With good friends and family, I was able to work out of the depression. I hope the same for your mother -- that she will be able to shake this depression -- many of us have, and more than once. Hang in there. Don

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It's also not unusual for patients to become depressed post-surgically. The pain meds can make you lethargic, but my personal experience was that my mental outlook was a whole lot better *with* them than *without* them. The pain just wears you down, body, mind and spirit.

If all-in-all your mom is feeling pretty well, try to get her engaged in whatever she really enjoys and is up to doing. Listening to favorite music or watching movies, visiting with favorite people, cook favorite dishes for her. If she's a book reader, that's an excellent way to get her attention diverted. I plowed through all 5 Harry Potter novels this summer, and enjoyed them immensely. Tough to think about cancer immersed in a teenage world filled with monsters, wizards and magic!

Also, don't hesitate to ask her doc for some antidepressant meds. She might not need much of it, just a low level daily dose to give her brain a little boost.

Please give your mom my best! Prayers coming your way,


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I was told, pending and post surgery, that routine heart surgery patients (even the least invasive types) could go into a depression for up to a year, as a consequence of the surgery. My surgery was gloriously successful, and yet I experienced a profound depression for 15 months post-surgery. I used to sit in the bath everymorning and cry for an hour. And this was after they told me the tumor was 99.9% dead on removal.

This was in spite of professional counseling and medication, plus the pain meds I'll be taking forever.

I suspect your mom is going through much the same thing. Please ask about professional help for her, and consider it for yourself as well. It's lousy being around depressed people. Logic does not rule here. I am convinced the deep depression I experienced was organic.

You and your mom remain in my prayers,


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