caring friend Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 A very dear friend was recently diagnosed with SCLC with mets to the brain. We are devasted. She has a young child and is 38 yrs old. i have been doing research on this issue and am very scared. I am looking for advice. The Dr. refuse to give her a prognosis and she was going to go back to work. I pulled her husband aside and stated that it was a bad idea to go back to work as no one knows her future. The choice would to put her child in day care and go to work, or stay home and enjoy her child. My wife is a nurse and we have done our research. The outlook is poor, but we are keeping positive spirits and will do what ever is possible. She complained of sympthoms months ago and the dr. told her it was indigestion. He gave her indigestion pills. She went back and kept complaining of chest pains and started to complain of headaches. Thank the Lord the nurse ordered further tests. We have never told our friends what we know as statistics can be misleading and depressing. I wonder if I am doing the right thing telling them not to go back to work. I pray all of you on this message board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna G Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 Where you are a friend I think you are wise not to "warn " them of stats, and how "grim" the outlook is. I am sure they will find out for themselves and perhaps have already been told but are not ready to share their feelings or prognosis . I really believe as long as you are alive go ahead and live. If they feel like working -go ahead and work , it may just be the only time of day they have something else to think about. Be open to "listening" that is what they really need right now. A great site to read about how to support someone with cancer is http://www.blochcancer.org/ Click on this site , I hope you find some great ideas to support your friend. Welcome . We love people we are willing to support us. Believe me being told you have cancer and I believe -lung cancer is very devistating and we need all the support we can get. Mostly we only get " DO YOU SMOKE? and then a look that says "well you did it to yourself". Thank you for caring. Donna G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remembering Dave Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 Caring friend, Statistics don't mean a thing to us that are fighting-at least they don't to me. I am 38-- oops 39 years old now (38 when diagnosed with SCLC) Statistics do no good. There are no statistics for a 38 year old with SCLC. It is truely a devastating thing to be diagnosed as your friend has been but even more devastating to look at the statistics. Remember that statistics take into account every 90 year old that is diagnosed with cancer and that a 38 year old has a lot more fight than a 90 year old!!!!!! Please let your friend know that a 38 year old can survive. It will not be easy but tell your friend to keep the faith and never stop fighting. I will be praying for your friend. David C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrie Posted September 26, 2003 Share Posted September 26, 2003 Caring friend - What a blessing having friend's support such as yours!!! That means the world to someone having to fight this disease - I know I had plenty of friends to lean on! It really makes all the difference. I agree, if your friend wants or needs to work and can - by all means let them. The stats should be "outlawed"!! We don't need anyone telling us "how much time we have left" (no one on earth has that power anyway). I will keep your friend in my prayers as they battle their disease - Terrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 I just want to add that the www.blochcancer.org site is such a good place to start. There are links for so many things including other doctor referrals. I also agree that you don't want to do too much statistic sharing, but at the same time, the one thing this disease does is make us all look at how we use our time. Most importantly your friend deserves to have a caring doctor who will at least try to help and who will let her know her options. It sounds like the one she has may be lacking in a few areas. (Ours had zero bedside manner and I think it was a small hindrance at times.) I would encourage them to find a better oncologist. That link gives ideas for second opinion situations. I, too, am a 38 year old mother (two kids) and I am praying like crazy for your dear friend and her family for things to do a BIG turnaround! God bless- Karen M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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