applewe Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 i haven't posted for a long while. arnold came home fromthe hospital in mid Sept.. he was released to hospice care. I was able to keep up with live chats and a few posts, but the strain of care giving, visiting family and trying to work, left little time for anything else. Arnold died on Nov 14, 2006, 8:30 pm. We were so thankful to have him at home. Our youngest son was released from his job to come and help with his father's care. I was able to work quite a bit. John was able to go home every week-end for a break. Though this was by far the hardest thing I have ever done, I would never have it any other way. the only regret I have is that I had to work at all. I wish I could have been with Arnold full time. I was so blessed by frineds and family. Our small community gave tremendous support through out the illness. My family continues to do what they can, but they are not too close by. Now, I struggle being home alone in the evenings. i try visiting friends, but it is so hard without Arnold. we always played pinocle together - three handed just isn't the same. going to church alone is so different. I still love to be in worship, but it is very different without him by my side. I cry myself to sleep every night and wonder when I will ever sleep through the night again. I have learned so much in this ongoing journey. I have a friend at work whose husband is battling lung cancer as well. We share so much. I ache for her and yet I pray that their journey will be different than mine. I know now, that many of the "platitudes" that well meaning people use, don't help. I know what not to say. I know that the loss is great regardless of age or lenghth of illness. Each of us will grieve in our own way and it is right. I thank God daily that he gives me the strength to keep going when I don't want to. I thank Him for the years we had together and the family He gave us, but still I miss Arnold so very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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