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Husband lost his battle

applewe

By applewe
in GRIEF

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applewe

applewe

Posted
Posted

:( i haven't posted for a long while. arnold came home fromthe hospital in mid Sept.. he was released to hospice care. I was able to keep up with live chats and a few posts, but the strain of care giving, visiting family and trying to work, left little time for anything else.

Arnold died on Nov 14, 2006, 8:30 pm. We were so thankful to have him at home. Our youngest son was released from his job to come and help with his father's care. I was able to work quite a bit. John was able to go home every week-end for a break.

Though this was by far the hardest thing I have ever done, I would never have it any other way. the only regret I have is that I had to work at all. I wish I could have been with Arnold full time.

I was so blessed by frineds and family. Our small community gave tremendous support through out the illness. My family continues to do what they can, but they are not too close by.

Now, I struggle being home alone in the evenings. i try visiting friends, but it is so hard without Arnold. we always played pinocle together - three handed just isn't the same. going to church alone is so different. I still love to be in worship, but it is very different without him by my side.

I cry myself to sleep every night and wonder when I will ever sleep through the night again.

I have learned so much in this ongoing journey. I have a friend at work whose husband is battling lung cancer as well. We share so much. I ache for her and yet I pray that their journey will be different than mine.

I know now, that many of the "platitudes" that well meaning people use, don't help. I know what not to say. I know that the loss is great regardless of age or lenghth of illness. Each of us will grieve in our own way and it is right.

I thank God daily that he gives me the strength to keep going when I don't want to. I thank Him for the years we had together and the family He gave us, but still I miss Arnold so very much.

Ann

Ann

Posted
Posted

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can so relate to everything you have said and know how empty you feel right now. I lost my husband four years ago today so I really do understand. It's so hard being "me" after years of being "us". I'll be remembering you in my prayers and I know God will help you to dig deep within your soul and find the strength you need to make it through this journey. Please know that we will all be here for you when you need to talk and this group is very good at hugs, too.

Judy-OK

Judy-OK

Posted
Posted

Sometimes words seem hardly enough but they are all we have when distance separates us. Praying for the comfort of you and your family. Please let the group help to support you in your time of sorrow and prehaps you can visit from time to time to help others that are lost in the midst of what you have already survived. Be blessed.

ztweb

ztweb

Posted
Posted

Apple,

I am so sorry to read about your husband. Eternal rest be granted unto him oh Lord, and may Your perpetual light shine upon him always.

You are right...you will grieve as you you will grieve. Know we are here for you.

God bless,

Jen

Kathleen1

Kathleen1

Posted
Posted

I too am very sorry for your great loss. I am praying for you to find peace. I can relate to the sleepless nights and crying yourself to sleep. I am so sorry. Know that everyone here is glad to offer support and love. God bless you.

k

Don Wood

Don Wood

Posted
Posted

My heartfelt sympathies at the loss of your mate. I am walking in those shoess, too, having lost my wife in September. I hope you have a good support system to get you through this -- I am fortunate to have that, with family, friends and church. I do understand that it is so different in social situations and at church. We almost have to re-invent who we are. Blessings. Don

Maryanne

Maryanne

Posted
Posted

I am sorry for the tremendous void in your life. I have no words to comfort you. We all grieve in our own way. I pray the road will not be too long and you have the support of love ones to help you cope.

Please accept my deepest condolences. Please know we are here for you if you need us.

Maryanne :cry:

lilyjohn

lilyjohn

Posted
Posted

I too am very sorry for your loss. Like Ann I just passed the 4 year aniversary, even now it is not easy. You will find much support here from people who sincerely care. I am sorry to say there are also many of us who have "been there, done that" so though different for each of us we at least understand more than most.

The holidays are never easy but your loss comming so close to Thanksgiving and Christmas really makes them more difficult. I will pray that you find a way to make the holidays at least a little peaceful. It sounds like your faith has already helped you to keep going. God bless you and may you find peace. Lillian

Suzie Q

Suzie Q

Posted
Posted

Sending my condolences for your the pain this loss has created. I know too well how little comfort there was in the well-intended platitudes. The loss is there, whether your loved one is "in a better place" or not..it just plain HURTS.

I pray for peace and healing for you.

~Karen

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