ztweb Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Urgh!!!!! I could just scream at myself for letting this happen! Tonight I put my near four year old to bed, and we say prayers, and he reminds me to lock the doors....yada, yada. I am sitting here on the computer, and he comes down...."Mom?" "Yeah, buddy?" "Can I pretend to smoke cigarettes?" "What are you talking about bud?" "Stephanie and I pretended to smoke cigarettes. Are my lungs going to turn black? Am I going to get sick?" It breaks my heart to realize full force what this year has done to my son. He is a germ-a-phobe and deathly afraid of cigarettes. He can smell one a mile away. Now, I realize this isn't the worst thing in the world, but it is a reality that dad's cancer has changed him. I have tried explaining that people just get sick...regardless of smoking cigarettes, but for whatever reason, he has grabbed ahold of this one full force. Urgh! I am just sad. Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheri Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Don't be sad Jen, he's four. My question is, who is he mimicking with the smoking? My daughter, who's fifteen, is so anti-smoking, she's let a few friends go because of it. Let the little guy know, there are funner things to pretend than smoking. I'd find the root of his patterning and go from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted December 20, 2006 Author Share Posted December 20, 2006 Honestly, I don't think he's ever even seen anyone smoking...maybe a worker when we built our garage, but I should ask him to show me what it looks like to pretend that and see what he does. He has more of an idea that he shouldn't talk to or even look at anyone who is a smoker. He asks me ALL THE TIME about if this person or that person smokes, more of as a way to figure out of he can "like" them or not. See my concern? Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blaze100 Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I'm afraid of second hand smoke now too. I hate it. My own brother has throat cancer. He smokes. He thinks nothing of lighting up around me. What is he thinking? Oh yes he says, I forgot you were "allergic to smoke". No....I just don't want lc again. I wish I could go to the mall w.o. having to trot past the smokers who insist on smoking right on top of the entryways. I wish I could go to my job w.o. inhaling other peoples smoke because they break CA state law by smoking within 20 feet of my window and door. I've gotta agree with your son. Inhaling cigarette smoke is not good. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkelley Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Jen, My son is 4 also. He doesn't really spend time around people who smoke but my dad, in addition to the lung cancer, has a laryngectomy. He had it when my son was only 3 months old. Over the past year or so, my son has realized that his "cappy" has a hole in his neck (dad keeps it covered with a dicky so most people don't even know he has it and he uses a special type of speech to talk so he only sounds like he has laryngitis). Thus, began the questions. I have told him that smoking can cause it but when my dad started smoking alot of doctors didn't know that smoking was bad for you and its hard for people who start smoking to quit. He seems to do best with this explanation. I understand your concern, its a tough one....you don't want him to ever smoke but you don't want him to think those that do are "bad" just people making bad choices. I tried to explain it as an illness instead of using "addiction" (he is only 4 ) Anyway, like someone else said, four year olds like to pretend and the questions are helping him understand better. I hope this post makes sense, its 4:30 in the morning here Take heart...I really believe he will sort it all out in time its just front and center in his life right now. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jyoung20 Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Jen, My little boy went through that also. He is 4. My husband finally quit smoking a few months ago(So proud of him) but the influence was there. I have reiterated to my son how bad smoking is for you. I really don't think he understands really what it is. But, I've found the bigger deal I make of it at his age now, the more he dwells on it...I talk about how bad it is briefly and then divert his attention. GOD BLESS!! Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Things are confusing for kids. I remember going through my baby book at 4, seeing my birth certificate and asking if those were my adoption papers (I'm not adopted, I must have heard the term on TV or something and thought everyone had adoption papers). Don't be upset, let him work these thoughts through. He'll piece it all together properly at some point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 This makes me think of those darned candy cigarettes that they used to have when I was a child. Please tell me that they don't make those anymore. I used to love those things and would mimic smoking them before I ate the candy. Remember...they even came in a box that looked like a cigarette pack. What a bad infulence that was on children!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ernrol Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Jen, Look at the positive; he is afraid that his lungs will turn black from pretending. It may keep him from ever trying one. Ann the candy cigarettes were one thing I remember they also had chocolate ones too. I don't think they make either anymore, but I still eat chocolate. Stay positive, Ernie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen1 Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 They do still make candy cigarettes, I've seen them! Ridiculous! Boy times have changed. I remember as a kid riding in the car with my much older sister, her husband and Mom and Dad. They were all smoking and I remember my sister getting angry with me sitting in the backseat car sick and asking if they would just open a window a little..............And they refused! Of course people who don't smoke also get lung cancer, but I too worry about being near smokers, or in establishments that allow smoking. It is super scary when you see first hand what lung cancer does. And even though lots of people get it who never smoked why increase your chances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 They do a LOT of anti-smoking campaigns in school, and if your son goes to preschool he may have heard something during November. My mom finally quit smoking b/c Tay was on a kick in Kindergarten and asked Mom, "Grandma, why do you do drugs?" Mom quit within weeks. When my son was in kindergarten he went right up to a complete stranger who was smoking outside a museum (I thought he was following me in) and told her that smoking was bad for her and she might die . She was too shocked to speak before I got him out of there. Right now my kids are, what my brother used to refer to as, nicotine nazis. I'm actually OK with that...hope they keep some of that zeal when they are older. At least they don't yell out the windows while we are at stoplights, "MOM--THAT MAN IS DOING DRUGS!" like they used to. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 I havn't seen those candy cigaretts in a while. I do remember which I am sure you all do, as buying a carton or cigaretts for the smokers at Christmas Can you imagine that being a gift??? Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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