Christmas

[Mskim]

Not only was I miserable and heartbroken, I ruined it for everyone else too.

God forgive me for being so selfish.

[RandyW]

As widows and widowers, I beleive that we have rights to. You take what life throws at you and do what you can with it. People who have not travelled this road sometimnes do not understand it the way that we take this road. Don't feel selfish, I was the same way this year. Tried like Heck to be happy but that was not gonna happen.the last eight days pretty much sucked all around, But we carry on as best we can. Don't feel selfish. I don't, OKAY?? Sending prayers hugs and thoughts for comfort this morning. Hang iN there.I am.

[shineladysue]

I too tried to make the best of it, but I just couldn't this year. I never decorated, did very little of anything, just wanted to get through it. Christmas morning found me sobbing my eyes out , all alone before the day got going. It became a bit better, but it was so so hard. As I wrote earlier, I "wasn't prepared" for such pain. I think we just have to go through it.. it is the only way out. ((((Kim)))).

Love,

Sue

[Treebywater]

(((((Kim)))))))

Be gentle with yourself.

[Don Wood]

Well, Kim, it is behind us now and we are still here. Let's look forward to 2007. Don

[Connie22]

I'm with Don--I am looking forward to 2007 Good bye 2006!!! I don't want to forget, I just want to get on with living. I really tried to stay away from people that didn't understand grieving or the ones that thought I should have been over it. In the last month I have been through 3 firsts without Mom My b-day, next day was thanksgiving and now Christmas.Next month I have New Year's and the day she was dx'd, my daughters b-day and mom's b-day. Things will settle down a little in Feb. Please don't be too hard on yourself, it has really been a short time.

Connie

[Nick C]

Whoa!

Don't beat yourself up.

I haven't posted my Christmas experience here, I may as it might help others to see they are not alone, but I haven't been ready to even look back on the misery that was this Christmas.

That said, no one could have expected more form us.

It was by far the worst Christmas ever (sorry Jesus).

You feel how you feel and should not be expected to be any other way.

I'll post what this Christmas was like later...as I think it will help me and maybe others could relate.

But PLEASE don't be hard on yourself. because I KNOW how you felt...and I know you couldn't help but feel how you did.

I get it.

[lisag]

I was shocked at how bad Christmas was for me. I lost my dad on 10-29, and Christmas day was worse than the day he died, the day of his memorial, or the day we buried his ashes. It was just horrible. We went and did the big family thing--about 20-25 of us--and I felt so alone. It was horrible. My husband drove my mom, brother and I around. We were back at my moms and I looked at the clock--it was 12:04 am...we had made it thru Christmas.

My brother said, on Christmas night, that we have three choices now. 1--find a way to hate my dad, to be angry, to blame, then maybe it won't hurt so bad. 2--try to forget, repress, etc... which would involve not facing this nightmare. 3--take the high road, go slow, remember, grieve. It's the option we're all taking but it is really the hardest one.

God Bless you all, and here's to a better 2007!

[michelepal]

I'm so sorry for your pain!!

Michele

[Maryanne]

Kim,

I am so sorry for all your pain. It certainly is understandable. This is a special holiday that was always shared with your mom. I know the feeling this was my 2nd Christmas without my mom and it tears at that hole in my heart that was placed there when she left and it just becomes bigger during these special times we spent together.

You definetly are not alone. But I will say that this Christmas was not as bad as my last which was the first without her. Hopefully, this will get better for you as time goes on.

Peace be with you.

Maryanne